To resent giving baby clothes to a freecycler with an iphone?

[lucyhoneybee]

I answered a wanted post for little baby clothes on freecycle. I don't have much myself as I'm on maternity leave and in the process of splitting from my husband due to his debts among other things. I was having a clear out and thought I'd take pity on a fellow mum. As soon as I responded with my offer of babyclothes my child has outgrown, she sent a reply asking when she could collect.. from her iPhone. Am I being harsh to wonder whether I should be giving her free baby clothes when in dire straits myself?

dreamingbohemian, nobody here is saying that it is wrong to prefer to give stuff to people who really need it. It's just freecycle is not set up with that aim: it's about saving the planet, not saving people from poverty (as I understand it). There is no means-testing mechanism on there, no independent verification of people's sob stories, no way of comparing the different people who ask for your items. So if you go down the road of thinking freecycle should be about giving to people in need, you're going to get very frustrated and judgemental. And freecycle will be full of people posting competitive sob stories that may or may not be true, and that kind of degrades everyone.

If I have good quality stuff I need to get rid of, I will always think first if there is anybody I know who can benefit from it, or I will take it to Oxfam. Freecycle I have mainly used to get rid of stuff that would otherwise end up on landfill.

Charitable giving is good. But it is not the purpose of freecycle, and if you try to use it for charitable giving you will end up feeling cross and exploited, like the OP.

or a playgroup/school jumble sale.? there are bound to be folks needing baby clothes there.

Perhaps her frugality in some areas allows her to have an iPhone.

wiggles I saw your earlier post... I grew up working class and believe me, my family would have been all over freecycle!

I understand some people don't like the concept but when you are really struggling, a lot of people aren't that bothered.

My mother had to save for months for the simplest things, you bet she would have taken them for free.

Hester, I appreciate the aim of freecycle isn't charitable giving, but let's not be delusional -- it is a major resource for poor people in practice.

How many threads have you seen on here where people in dire straits are urged to go on freecycle to get things? That's just reality.

I personally have not been frustrated with freecycle. I even became friends with a woman I met through freecycle. I think it's great!

I have however been frustrated with trying to donate goods to charities. I think freecycle is a great way to get around that.

YABU

If they told you they were on the breadline and turned up in a Rolls royce it might be one thing but phones are cheap these days and a lot of people use them who can't afford a laptop.

I use ebay and freecycle a lot for both "buying" and "selling". To be honest I would not mind if someone car-booted things I have gifted, if I was bothered about the money I would carboot them myself - but that would be my idea of hell. And someone still gets a bargain further down the line, it's effectively the distribution you are subsidising. IME children's clothes, unless they are GAP/Boden or better, go for pennies on ebay and you need to be very efficient for it to be worth the hassle. Not everyone has a car/computer to take advantage of freecycle.

I have been gifted bags of cast-offs from friends and strangers some of whom might be less well off than me but they are gratefully accepted, worn, and passed on. There is a healthy circulation in baby/maternity clothes because they get so little wear. Personally I don't think there is any shame in secondhand, I think it's a victory if you can re-use something to be honest.

I spent a heck of a lot of money on my phone bill as a teenager and last year as an adult I was offered an iPhone for free if I agreed to pay a lot LESS for my contract. Obviously I snapped it up. I certainly wouldn't have had the money to buy one otherwise, I was just lucky (in a way) that I was a chatty teen and that Vodafone remembered that.
YABU, you have no idea of the circumstances.

yabu.

it's for rehoming stuff, not for helping 'the deserving poor'.