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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

no one has said it but am i clinging to my youth and need to move on? you'll all laugh

82 replies

aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 04/10/2011 20:34

as a teen i was a goth. black lipstick and dark attitude Blush i had my DS at the age of 18 so i 'grew' up and dressed as what my mum would call normal but in the last few months my pink converse shoes have secretly been finding their way on to my feet beneath my jeans with an excuse of "they're comfy for driving" but i cant let go of my punk rock style and have been craving it for years! i dont mean black lippy etc, just flared jeans and wanting to get my pink guitar out Blush just have an 'individul' sense of style?
(as you can see pink is my fav colour lol)

im 23 now with 2 DC am i being silly to not be able to let go of my style? DP hasnt said anything Hmm

i REALLY should have name changed!! Blush

OP posts:
fluffystabby · 04/10/2011 20:51

Fuckthefuck right away off with your 23 and converse Wink

DD1 refuses to allow me converse because it's not cool for your mum to wear the same shoes as you Angry

Envy? Moi?

Flowerista · 04/10/2011 20:51

Don't want to worry you OP but I wear converse (am 42)...

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 04/10/2011 20:51

bought, not cought...not even a word

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 04/10/2011 20:52

oh my wew your so right lol im 23 lol in my head im 80 ha ha

UNPA - yeh im welsh :) from swansea :)

OP posts:
BodyUnknown · 04/10/2011 20:52

I'm an exgoth (26 now) and I remember exactly when I stopped wearing the mad headgear and sorts - it was my second term at uni, and a lecturer I really, really respected and fancied the pants off told me in a completely non-patronising manner that no one was going to take me seriously in Classics if I went around dressed like that... the next term I was in black jeans and black tshirts, and by the new academic year I was 'normal'!

It's been a while since then and I'm no longer part of the scene I was into, so I wouldn't go back to it, but I think age is the least of the barriers to dressing how you like.

Shakey1500 · 04/10/2011 20:52

acwtch

I posted up there ^ but just an afterthought. Are you really comfortable with the style you describe? I only ask as you put a Blush, need to ask the AIBU question etc etc? Or do you wish^ you felt comfortable as a goth, possibly admire those that don't give a toss?

For me, I wear what I like but there's a kind of "floaty, layered, urban, effortless chic" look that I admire but everytime I try and acheive it I look like a sack of shite and just can't seem to pull it off Confused

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 04/10/2011 20:53

I was a supergoth in my teens/early 20s - both mohawk, biker boots, the works and I also got compared to <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sandman+comic+death&num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=vOkWrRTVtEYL1M:&imgrefurl=www.thegreenlanterncorps.com/forum/showthread.php%3Ft%3D15115%26page%3D10&docid=a3KUZlti-ApdfM&w=1024&h=768&ei=O2OLTvSpDKWX0QWry6DJBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=390&vpy=403&dur=57&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=133&ty=134&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=177&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Death from the Sandman comic. I too bowed to pressure from my mum and normalised... It's not a happy state of affairs!

My brother told me tonight that even though I now dress really mumsy and sensibly (I think), it's still obvious I'm 'alternative'. I can't see it myself, but people are never surprised when I tell them my 'past'!

Although I do wear less black. You are only 23. Enjoy yourself. There is plenty of time to dress sensibly.

HedleyLamarr · 04/10/2011 20:56

You're 23 fer cryin' out bloody loud! I am double your age and still wear my Airwalks with pride. And my Alternative Tentacles t-shirts.

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 04/10/2011 20:58

no im not Blush about goth but about going back to it lol see here i go again with my 80 year old head ha ha just dont want to look too non mumsy Hmm i dont think i ve said that right but im sure you'll all figure it out ha ha

gonna have a nice bath now as i start my new job tomoz :)

OP posts:
mollycuddles · 04/10/2011 20:59

I'm v nearly 40 and look the best I ever have (ignoring the wrinkles). I have just got my first pair of converse. Donated by ds who had worn them about 4 times before they were too small for him any more.
Wear whatever you want

aldiwhore · 04/10/2011 21:03

If you don't want to go back to full Goth gear, that's perfectly acceptable too! But pink converse??? Sheesh, you've made me start worrying about my green ones, and my blue ones, and my black ones, and my white ones... and I was never a Goth.

You've also made me visit the Converse site and drool over everything, and add 'pink converse' to my Christmas wish list.

You can mix mumsy with cool, you can still find your own grown up style if you're ready to move on, there really aren't as many 'mum' rules as you think there are.

Says me, owner of a purple nissan micra with a pirate flag on the ariel. I don't give a damn if it looks 'silly'.

LydiaWickham · 04/10/2011 21:05

Oh FFS - I've got a decade on you, found myself in Topshop's changing rooms and suddenly realised I'd moved into the 'mutton dressed as lamb' stage. Still, it's better than mutton dressed as mutton I suppose...

Make the most of this time before you have to be all mumsy.

unpa1dcar3r · 04/10/2011 21:05

Oh Lizzy I remember when I thought 55 was old too! Grin
Actually I vaguely remember sympathising with my then SIL who was reaching 25!!! Oh how I wish i was that old now...

BTW I forgot to mention, oh me of the pink and purple hair, i too am a grandmother (or nanna to be precise) and I made a vow years ago to grow old as disgracefully as humanly possible.
I mean why bother having kids if you can't embarrass them sometimes, no fun there (evil smirk on wrinkly 47 yr old un-L'oroeled face)- they pinch all my bloody clothes anyway!

Once you hit 40 odd I think you kinda stop giving the proverbial damn what others think anyway! Your time will come you young whippersnapper you!

LoveInAColdClimate · 04/10/2011 21:10

You are 23! Wear what you like!

Lizzylou · 04/10/2011 21:13

unpa1dcar3r, bloody good for you!
I was rather in awe of that woman at football, she looked fab.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 04/10/2011 21:14

I'm 23 too and had ds at 18, I spent the past 4yrs of his life trying to be a 'mum' and fit in as I felt judged.

Then I met this mental lot and let it go, now if I want to wear biker boots one day and uggs the next I sodding well do! AND I dress my dcs in band tshirts. Me and dp are rockers and proud, there's nothing quite like watching my two rock out like pros to papa roach. Acdc and a bit of metalicca (shame ds does the same to 'the wanted) Hmm

Wear what you like and wear it with pride :)

heleninahandcart · 04/10/2011 21:15

Converse in several colours in this house. DS's and mine. And I have 30 years on you... Enjoy being 23, wear whatever makes you feel good

bonkers20 · 04/10/2011 21:19

23 IS youth! Get your Converse trainers on girl! Your DSs will be happier to have you dress as you please.

BelleEnd · 04/10/2011 21:19

Your username is the best. It's true. Cwtshes mawr to you and your converse and your new job!

UP THE SWANS! :o

dolceebanana · 04/10/2011 21:21

Gosh, I've just realised I'm 42, and I still wear Converse...in white or navy though, a la Jane Birkin (she thinks). I think they are timeless. And you are so young !

GalaxyWeaver · 04/10/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marne · 04/10/2011 21:26

Your 23, you can get away with wearing almost anything, who cares what others think. Make the most of being young.

wicketkeeper · 04/10/2011 21:36

Right kids, here's the deal. I'm 50 (damn near 51 if I'm honest). Wear whatever you want, and stop going on about how old you are. Enjoy being young - I do.

unpa1dcar3r · 04/10/2011 21:39

BTW again. I have no bloody idea what Converses are? Anyone wanna enlighten me?

Has this thread helped you Mrs Cwtch. I'm t'other end of where you are and its very welsh here. My boys (those of the SAL problems) speak excellent welsh. Mine is limited to cwtch and a sauce (Kiss, spelt how it sounds cos I dunno how to spell in welsh) and Ki-de-geg and Iawn. Plus the odd 'see ducky heth you' Grin. They put me to shame my boys! Oh and quip deen, hogin druse, dosey gwelly!!!
Sorry off thread there but was well impressed with meself for recognising Cwtch Grin

Anyway...converses anyone????

Sarahplane · 04/10/2011 21:40

I know what you mean. I had my dd at 19 and was very conscious of people judging me for being a young mum so always tried to dress more grown up, stopped dying
my hair and took out my nose piercing etc. I'm now 26, just had ds and suddenly want to look and dress young again.