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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Tell My DsDad To F-Off And Not Come Back For Hitting my Dog?

95 replies

RozziPringle · 04/10/2011 08:49

He and my mother came to visit and in the past he's been quite playful with my 8 month old puppy, let her jump on him and "kiss" him etc(She's a yorkie-poo so only tiny)

Yesterday he came obviously in a foul mood, my puppy jumped up at him and tried to give him a kiss as she has done in the past, this time he hit her quite hard to the point she yelped.

I ofcourse went mental and told him to get out and not come back if he's going to do that to a member of my family, my mum just sat there and said "oh he doesnt like dogs jumping up and hates germs" Hmm. It was ok last time and how is the dog ment to know this time is different

I know i sound a bit PFD (precious first dog) and that some people dont like dogs but i wouldnt go into somones home and hit their pets. Now my mum and DsDad are not talking to me so i wondered if IWBU?

OP posts:
Crosshair · 04/10/2011 18:24

''It's a dog. It's not a member of your family.''

Surely if you have a dog it's your responsibility to care for and protect it as you would a close family member.

zukiecat · 04/10/2011 18:34

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 04/10/2011 18:40

Crosshair of course you care for it and protect it . . by keeping it away from DSD (in this case) not DSD from it. But it's not a family member.

Given the demographic of this forum - overwhelmingly women of child-rearing age - barring tragedy or accident they are going to outlive any dog they now have. And if you would mourn for a dead pet as you would for a member of your family you've got serious problems.

Andrewofgg · 04/10/2011 18:41

Crosshair of course you care for it and protect it . . by keeping it away from DSD (in this case) not DSD from it. But it's not a family member.

Given the demographic of this forum - overwhelmingly women of child-rearing age - barring tragedy or accident they are going to outlive any dog they now have. And if you would mourn for a dead pet as you would for a member of your family you've got serious problems.

BeerTricksPotter · 04/10/2011 18:43

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Andrewofgg · 04/10/2011 18:49

No, I have nothing against dogs; had one when I was a child. As a lifelong flat-dweller I have never been able to keep one.

But I think people (and above all children) matter more.

lifechanger · 04/10/2011 18:49

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sue52 · 04/10/2011 18:53

I have never let my dog jump up and kiss visitors and you should not have allowed your DsDad to encourage this, however, having done so, it was wrong and confusing to the dog for him to snack it. Your dog won't hold a grudge and will get over this so maybe you should too. I would speak to your DSD about the messages he was sending your dog and if he understands that he was in the wrong, I would let bygones be bygines.

zukiecat · 04/10/2011 18:55

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 04/10/2011 18:58

Zukie, bless you, good luck with your cats, which I prefer to dogs, but the point is apart from your DC. You don't mourn your cats as you would if, by some horrible tragedy or misfortune, you lost one of them.

Crosshair · 04/10/2011 19:08

And if you would mourn for a dead pet as you would for a member of your family you've got serious problems.

I was more upset about my dog then my grandma mourning wise. I guess because of living with the dog for 15 years, the loss was much more in my face and harder to ignore. Confused I know that makes me sound like an awful person!

zukiecat · 04/10/2011 19:10

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJasonBourne · 04/10/2011 19:13

Has the op actually come back to the thread or have they been scared off by all the people hijacking it to argue about dog breeding etc?

YANBU to be cross with your sd but telling him to fuck off was probably a bit harsh.

Explain to him that if he has thus far let the dog jump up and kiss him the dog has learnt that this is acceptable behaviour. Dogs learn through repetition and if your sd has done this in the past, unfortunately dogs don't also learn to read minds and know that the stupid twat has changed his mind on the matter.

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 19:24

Oh bloody hell not AndrewFog on his anti-dog, pro thinking of the chhhiiiiilllldren soapbox again!

Whatever might happen in your house Andrew in mine, no dog gets shut away for the sake of a visitor. Never.

You're allergic to dogs? Putting them in another room won't make any difference.

You don't like dogs? You aren't welcome in my house. Your spouse wants to mount a protest and refuses to visit too? Fine by me.

See? Simple!

Because, you see, my dogs are part of my family.

EggyAllenPoe · 04/10/2011 21:23

its a tiny little Mutt! If you don't want it to lick you, there is no way that it can!

unless you are wearing sandals....your feet being the only body part readily available.

I love yorkies and toy poodles....they tend to have such fun little personalities. Clever little dogs.

My grans yorkie was the only creature she lived with for ten years....very much part of her family. My dog is very much part of ours. Why is it so hard to understand that you can love dogs and people and their best interests need not conflict?

Andrewofgg · 04/10/2011 21:39

I'm not allergic to dogs, I don't dislike dogs, I just don't keep one. I happily visit homes where they are kept by friends.

Yes, Eggy, you can love both, but in different ways, and indeed there need be no conflict if the dog is properly trained and controlled - which includes not reacting badly to a child who is not used to dogs.

I just say they are pets. Not family. Humans can be family, and they are not human.

Valhalla if your home was on fire, the dog in one room, DC in another (we'll have to say you have one of each, or the other DC is out with friends or family, and the other dog(s) in the garden and therefore safe from the fire) and you can save one or the other - but not both - I know what you would do, and you know what you would do.

At least I hope I know what you would do.

Crosshair · 04/10/2011 21:49

What if they was a dog, a bear and a cat? Who would you save?

Im thinking bear.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/10/2011 22:09

I always think people who hurt animals are just plain not right in the head, My Dh would go fucking mental if anyone hurt our cat.

YANBU. obv

ExcitedElectrons · 04/10/2011 22:14

Okay
a) whats wrong with a mongrel?
b) a dog IS part of the family
c) the OP already said the DsDad had let the dog jump up a few times so the dog is of course going to next time round
d) YANBU, hurting animals is wrong

DooinMeCleanin · 05/10/2011 10:18

There is nothing wrong with a mongrel as such. I have one. He's ace. The problem people have with them is the way they are bred.

There are far too many dogs being bred and not nearly enough suitable homes for them all. Responsible breeders breed only to improve the breed. They often wait until they have a waiting list or only breed when they want another dog to train/show. They'll only sell their dogs to responsible homes and will do their utmost to ensure their pups never end up in the pound, including taking them back in themselves, even ten years down the line. Unfortunately these breeders are few and far between.

The problem with mongrels and designer breeds being bred is that a) there are far too many being bred. b) the breeder is in it purely for the money and will sell their pups to anyone who is willing to pay, no matter how unsuitable that home is. c) the dogs are not health tested prior to breeding resulting in sick puppies.

The 'myth' that mongrels are healthier, is just that, imo. A myth. When you breed two different breed dogs, unless the parents are health tested prior to breeding you take a massive risk that the pups will inherit the genetic faults from both breeds. Breeders of mogrels and designer breeds very rarely health test.

There are two in my family. My own ex poundie, who has a very expensive skin condition that probably could have been prevented by correct breeding and my sisters bull lurcher (a bull breed/greyhound x) who has a hernia that's going to cost them a fortune at some point and is not insurable. That could also have possibly been prevented by correct breeding. The 'breeder' couldn't sell him because of the hernia and so was going to put him in the free ads as 'free to good home' (read free to the first person willing to take him off my hands, no matter how unsuitable they are) my sister heard about him via a friend and stepped in and took the poor pup home. He now has his own bank account to save up for the op he is more than likely going to need in the future. He's lucky. A lot of other people would pts before shelling out hundreds of pounds on an operation. A lot of other 'breeders' would have just drowned him at birth.

When you add in the designer breeds and the popularity of them vs the lies told about them i.e non shedding, easy dogs etc. rescue have a massive problem on their hands finding space for these dogs, all the while unscrupulous BYBs and puppy farmers are pockting money like it's going out of fashion while their poor bitch is bred from again and again and again, normally untill she dies or becomes to sick to breed.

You cannot get a responsible mongrel breeder. It's impossible. There is no responsible reason to bring yet more dogs into this world unless it is to improve the breed, even that is a questionable reason, given the amount of dogs we kill for lack of good homes each year.

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