Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Tell My DsDad To F-Off And Not Come Back For Hitting my Dog?

95 replies

RozziPringle · 04/10/2011 08:49

He and my mother came to visit and in the past he's been quite playful with my 8 month old puppy, let her jump on him and "kiss" him etc(She's a yorkie-poo so only tiny)

Yesterday he came obviously in a foul mood, my puppy jumped up at him and tried to give him a kiss as she has done in the past, this time he hit her quite hard to the point she yelped.

I ofcourse went mental and told him to get out and not come back if he's going to do that to a member of my family, my mum just sat there and said "oh he doesnt like dogs jumping up and hates germs" Hmm. It was ok last time and how is the dog ment to know this time is different

I know i sound a bit PFD (precious first dog) and that some people dont like dogs but i wouldnt go into somones home and hit their pets. Now my mum and DsDad are not talking to me so i wondered if IWBU?

OP posts:
PetiteRaleuse · 04/10/2011 09:50

YANBU. Anyone who hit my dog (or cat, or child, or any other member of my household) would not be allowed back.

Nothing wrong with telling him to fuck off either. It was the least you could do.

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 09:51

Morloth that is dreadful advice! It can cause all manner of problems - often causing the dog to be unwanted, we see a lot of dogs in rescue as a result of them reacting to physical punishment.

Rozzi, please either consult a decent trainer or read up on reward based training, and do not take advice to use physical punishment on your dog.

DooinMeCleanin · 04/10/2011 09:51

My dog is trained not to jump at people. He still goes berserk and physically throws himself, somersaulting along the way, at my Dad because he encourages him to do so, just like op said her SDad does. You cannot train your dog not to jump at people who actively encourage it to do so.

If anyone raised a hand to my dog I'd fucking kill them, if the dog didn't get in there first.

Regardless of how well the dog is trained or not trained there is no excuse to inflict pain upon an animal far smaller than yourself. There are better ways to train a dog. The SDad could simply have stood up and turned his back. The dog would have soon gotten the picture.

Tanif · 04/10/2011 09:52

Valhalla I think Morloth's newspaper advice was aimed at the stepdad, not the dog...

hmc · 04/10/2011 09:53

What's all this - train your dog not to jump up at people bollocks? I would agree if it was a mature dog, but it is a puppy and still learning. Am sure OP is in process of training the puppy not to jump up but disciplined behaviour takes a while to instill with puppies ...(as it does in the human world with teaching toddlers social mores)

Fo0ffyShmooffer · 04/10/2011 09:56

Hmm well

YABU for thinking that people will ALWAYS find it as cute as you to receive "kisses" ( bleurgh ) from your dog.

YANBU for reacting badly to your dog being hit. Never, ever acceptable.

YABU for handling it the way you did although I get the feeling there is more to this with you and your DSDad than you have let on.

Everyone else is BU for giving a flying crap what breed/ non breed the fucking dog is.

HellonHeels · 04/10/2011 09:57

YANBU. People should not hit animals.

Morloth · 04/10/2011 09:59
Grin
Vallhala · 04/10/2011 09:59

Morloth, it's not snobbery about new breeds which is the issue. The concern is that none of these dogs are properly bred - they are all bred by back yard breeders. They aren't bred to improve bloodlines and for the benefit of the breed, which is the only way in which a reputable breeder will mate a bitch, but for profit.

A reputable breeder will not only breed purely to improve breed lines, sourcing a suitable stud carefully and regardless of cost and distance, they will always only breed when they have a waiting list for their puppies (ie before mating takes place) and generally they will do so because they wish to keep a pup to show. They also health check, guarantee to take the dog back at any stage in his life, offer ongoing support and can talk genetics and the breed til your eyes glaze over.

Breeders of these whatnot-poo mongrels, for that's what they are, do none of these things and as council tax payers are already paying for the killing of hundreds of healthy dogs a week owing to lack of homes all that these mongrel breeding-for-profit people are doing is adding to the huge pool of dogs with dubious backgrounds with potential inherent health problems... dogs which so often end up in a black bin liner in a council pound.

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 10:01

"Valhalla I think Morloth's newspaper advice was aimed at the stepdad, not the dog.." :o

Morloth · 04/10/2011 10:02

Meh, really not seeing the difference between a designer breed and an accepted breed other than whether the breeder is legit.

Presumably, you can mix breeds in a responsible way.

I have always had mongrels, preferably an ACD/koolie mix, we have been doing it for generations in the bush, no kennel club registrations in sight.

gordyslovesheep · 04/10/2011 10:05

oh I have no issue with dog breeds or made up breeds - I dislike dogs as a rule but I do think it's hysterical that people need to stamp a 'fancy' name on a hienz 57 :D

seriously some dog breeder saw these people comming and took the opportunity to offload some accidental puppies for a mint - it's a licence to print money!

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 10:11

Morloth

  1. "Designer breed" = bred for profit = bitch bred more frequently = cruel AND = considerably more dogs bred by the designer breeder than the reputable breeder.
  1. Designer breed = generally no health checks on the parents = unhealthy puppies. Think of the heartache of having to put to sleep a dog dying of a terminal, degenrative genetic disorder - a disorder which could have been prevented had the dogs parents been screened, to say nothing of the distress pain and suffering to the dog himself.

And again, a lot of these dogs will end up in rescue. And those which rescue can't take will and DO die.

  1. Designer breed = common misconceptions. Such as "Labradoodles don't shed" - there was a cun... woman on MN who dumped her dog in rescue because she was told he wouldn't shed and he did. I helped get him into rescue - had I not, fuck knows what may have happened to him. You wanna know how many of these poor designer breeds are currently in rescue? Tons of them and the numbers are rising annually.
  1. Designer breed = misconception that you'll get the best of both breeds = dogs dumped in rescue when they're found to have the worst traits of both breeds.
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/10/2011 10:12

Ooohhh, like a labradoodle. ?

Yabu for allowing doggy kisses, I ended up with my friends dogs tongue in my gob recently,I had to be peeled off thebloody ceiling, I KNOW where that tongue has been Angry

Yanbu to be pissed off.

Morloth · 04/10/2011 10:13

So does that mean in your opinion there should never be any new breeds?

Crosshair · 04/10/2011 10:14

yanbu what sort of person hits a puppy so hard it yelps. Angry

I would say train the puppy to teach some doggy manners.

faverolles · 04/10/2011 10:18

Vallhala - Thankyou, you've said everything I wanted to say about "designer breeds", but I kept ranting and deleting before I posted :o

The only exception in my eyes is the labradoodle, when it's bred extremely carefully to F2 and F3 generations and then carefully selected to be guide dogs for blind people with allergies - this to me is the right way to develop a new breed, except it's all got out of hand and hijacked by back yard breeders. (I have a Labrador bitch, and have been approached by a couple of poodle dog owners, who reckon I could be filthy rich if I just let her have puppies to their dogs Hmm)

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 04/10/2011 10:19

I was completely unaware of the popularity of these cross breed small dogs until I saw the Many Tears website. It reminds me of my mother saying 'poor dogs' every time the newspaper published a picture of the Crufts Best in Show. A sudden rise in popularity leads to an increased demand an reckless breeding.

diddl · 04/10/2011 10:21

OP-did he actually deliberately hit the dog, or was he trying to stop it jumping at him?

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 10:25

IMHO, until the stray situation in this country is sorted out Morloth, yes.

Stray dogs in the UK have just 7 days in the pound before they can be killed. Many, far too many are - young dogs, healthy dogs, pups, not just old and sick dogs, as wrong as that too is to me - as rescue just cannot cope with the sheer volume of numbers.

So until we have that under control I would curtail the introduction of any new breed and would impose hugely stringent controls on breeding. Our laws on who may breed and how are no way adequate, not in terms of the benefit of dog population control nor in terms of dog welfare. The very vast majority of breeders are backyard breeders and most are not licensed or inspected nor do they have to be. Those which aren't licensed may breed bitches from very young ages, far TOO young for their health and may breed them repeatedly. Those which are licensed (ie who have more than 4 litters from any bitch in any 12 month period) SHOULDN'T breed from bitches under age of , SHOULDN'T breed bitches again just 6 months after the last litter... but many do. I was dealing with one such just a couple of days ago.

Tangle · 04/10/2011 10:25

further to Valhalla's list:

  1. A breed should "breed" true to type - if you cross a lab bitch with a lab dog you'll get lab puppies. If you cross a 1st generation labradoodle X with another 1st gen labradoodle X you could get something resembling a straight lab, something resembling a straight poodle and anything in between.

IMO new breeds are fine - but it takes a lot more work, time and effort (as illustrated by faverolles) than sticking a bitch from one breed with a dog from another and giving it a funny name. For me personally I'd also like to see a new breed developed to fulfil a purpose other than "its cute" - such as lower shedding guide dogs. All the historical breeds were working dogs. Many of the individuals will no longer live working lives, but at least you can get an idea of what character traits may have been bred in my looking at what the dog was bred to do.

Rozzi - YANBU to be upset and cross with your DsDad hitting your puppy, nor to tell him so, for exactly the reasons you state (if it was acceptable behaviour last week it doesn't deserve punishment this week and certainly not punishment of that type). Its unclear whether you think the jumping/kissing is cute or something you're working to limit - IMO YWBU not to try and train your dog to only do this if invited to do so.

AhsataN · 04/10/2011 10:29

he shouldn't have hit your dog like that and you have told him so. i think let by gones be by gones. teach your dog not to jump on people and lick them its is actually your dog being dominant over you.
i have a German Shepard and as a pup she used to jump up and lick. we taught her not to as she is so large shed flatten you. just because your dog is small does not make it cute it is still the same principal whatever dog breed it may be.
licking people is disgusting i don't think id be too pleased after all dogs lick their own arseholes. no thank you.

DooinMeCleanin · 04/10/2011 10:32

'its is actually your dog being dominant over you.' - No it's not. It's an over excited puppy showing affection in a way which has previously been acceptable.

Can we please drop the dominance crap. It was disproved years ago and I am sick to death of reading about it as if it were still common practise. Try reading this

Morloth · 04/10/2011 10:32

Still not seeing any difference TBH, assuming you had two legit breeders of different breeds who decided to get together and create a new breed it is exactly the same in my opinion as breeding any of the current recognised breeds.

I get that your problem is with the current backyard breeders and their methods, but I disagree that dogs should not be bred for specific purposes by mixing different breeds.

Given what many registered 'responsible' breeders have done to many breeds I seriously question their right to comment on anyone elses behaviour.

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 10:37

"Given what many registered 'responsible' breeders have done to many breeds I seriously question their right to comment on anyone elses behaviour."

I agree entirely. The only folk who do have that right are those of us who pick up the pieces.