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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that if the parents of a PFB toddler want to label a 4 year old stranger "evil"

12 replies

tallulah · 02/10/2011 17:24

they could at least be brave enough to speak to said child's parents?

Went to Bibic fun day today. Now the reason we were invited is that DD is not NT. Presumably the same applied to most of the other children there but there was a group of laydees doing a zumba presentation and the mum was in that.

DD was playing with another little girl on a slide and suddenly said "I'm not evil mummy am I?". Asked her who'd called her that and she indicated a couple plus grandma with toddler. As they passed us one of them muttered "the one with face painting", which described my DD.

All day she was only out of my sight for the few seconds it took me to catch up when she first went on the slide, and I did haul her off a baby rocker. I can't see she could have done anything that would qualify as evil. She is 4, not 14.

Even so, if you are having a Passive-Aggressive dig at a very small child would it not make sense to actually tell the parent what they are supposed to have done? Had I not been on my own, and been surer of my facts I'd have asked them why they were being so spiteful but as it was I gathered her up and we left just after. The shine had been taken off the day. And we left her (new) Lola hat behind, so I'm rather wishing we hadn't bothered and I'd taken her to the beach instead :(

OP posts:

BatsUpMeNightie · 02/10/2011 17:29

What actually are you offended about? You don't even sound like you know!

troisgarcons · 02/10/2011 17:30

Why are 14yos evil?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/10/2011 17:32

Can't work it out either...

Makeminealarge · 02/10/2011 17:36

people can be cruel. end of. they dont need a reason to. I wouldnt dwell on it, you know yourself your DD has not done anything to jusitfy such comments. After all, they are bloody perfect ya know?! Its very sad however your child heard such comments. Plan something fun for next week instead and put it behind you :)

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 02/10/2011 17:39

Possibly at adults calling a 4 year old child evil in their earshot???????

YANBU

AvonCallingBarksdale · 02/10/2011 17:44

Sounds a bit mean - I'd have had to ask what they meant by "the one with the face-painting" comment. You could have asked casually - you may have got the wrong end of the stick, but you'll never know now, and now you're feeling .

Tryharder · 02/10/2011 18:30

You were being unreasonable NOT to have said anything IMO. I'd have gone up to them and said very politely and nicely: "My daughter said you called her evil and I am wondering what she did for you to call her that". How I then responded would depend on the answer.

Your DD probably pushed their PFB or something. I would have also mentioned that my DD had special needs just to make them feel like shit.

spiderpig8 · 02/10/2011 18:31

I would have wanted to get to the bottom of it and asked them politely if my DD had been doing something to upset them.
I wonder if she said something nasty to the other little girl / Did you ask your DD??

DeWe · 02/10/2011 18:55

Could it have been the face paint? Was she made up to look like an "evil" character?

Original poster

tallulah · 02/10/2011 19:01

I'm offended by snide comments to my DD for no obvious reason. They'd obviously said it to her or she wouldn't have asked me if she was evil. What a horrible thing to say to a 4 yo.

She was painted as a glittery butterfly.

OP posts:

pocketfullofposies · 02/10/2011 19:08

Could DD have got the wrong end of the stick?

The only reason I ask is because I was with my DDs in the play area of a restaurant recently and there was only me and another adult in there amongst the children. There were some unattended boys and one of them disappeared and then this woman stormed in looking really pissed off with a cross, shaking voice and said "excuse me but has my nephew been naughty or something?"

The other parent and I had NOT A CLUE what she was talking about. Absolutely no idea. The stupid thing was that this boy had actually knocked my one year old over and I hadn't said anything at all, he didn't even look like he'd noticed he'd done it and it was totally my choice to take her in there with the bigger children so I would never have said anything.

So, I'm just wondering in a long winded way if your DD got the wrong end of the stick?

WilsonFrickett · 02/10/2011 19:21

OP, you should have asked them what had happened and then tore them a new one gently suggested that 'evil' was probably a mild over-reaction to anything a 4 yr old has done.

Mine got bitten and hair-pulled by a toddler yesterday and I let the other mother deal with it, then was absolutely kicking myself when DS said 'he pulled my hair because its silly mummy, didn't he?' so I could be being a touch oversensitive here though

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