AIBU to think that children should be reading when they start school?

[horribledinners]

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, I started having kids 20+ years ago, but I, and all my brothers and sisters were taught to read and write by my parents before we started primary school. I taught my two older kids to read and begin to learn to write letters in time for them starting primary education, and would be ashamed if ds3 couldn't recognise letters and be able to read by the time he starts school.

I completely understand that there have been many confusing 'experiments' in education since then, the abandonment of phonics was a tragedy in my opinion; but do parents really think its the schools job to teach kids to read and write and do they not even give an introduction to reading and writing anymore?

I would love to know if this is a generational thing. I know for certain its not a class thing as we were very poor growing up and my Mum would take us out to the bus-stop and make us read out the notices!

Parents duty before school is to teach a child how to wipe their bum, eat in public, get dressed, wipe their nose, the basics of sitting quietly for a few minutes, a little bit of waiting their turn, maybe recognise their name, wash their hands and the one thing I think is the most important, read to them lots

No need to teach anything else, some children will be ready to learn and will learn a little reading or word recognition before school, some will not - all will learn eventually (sn aside) and all will get to a similar stage in just a few years

"too many parents feel that it is the schools duty to teach their children to read"

That's because it is.

As a parent, it is my job to teach my children to love reading and to facilitate the process.

"Just put it this way, if i had left it to the school, my ds would be a non reader."

That says more about the school than about anything else.

Oh, OP do PLEEEAASSEEE come and teach my dyslexic ds1 to read, theres a dear.

YABVU you silly person.

Astounded by the number of posters who think children should be learning school work before the start school, instead of playing and enjoying those few short years of freedom.

Of course parents should be helping their children to learn to read once they're at school, together with their teachers. Why teach them beforehand? Do you also plan to teach them physics, long division and history before the school does? Of course not! It would be pointless

Personally, I think it is madness to teach your own children to read. Some children do "pick it up" on their own by being read to, but most need explicit teaching and it is far better to be taught synthetic phonics methodically than in a random way.

I could read at 4.3 (I had been at pre-school for a year by then) and was moved up a class. I don't think that it has been any kind of advantage to me to read early but I think it did demonstrate a certain natural aptitude for language(s).

It is nothing to do with effort.
I applied a great deal of effort to my time with dd before school started. I just didn't think teaching her to read was priority.
She liked books. She could recite a lot of some of them, we talked about them -all that stuff. She could swim well. Do a bit of ballet. She had ridden a bit. She was independent at washing her hands, dressing, tidying her room. We had cooked a lot. Loads of things.

So no lack of effort. Just different choices.

I can imagine if you don't trust your school then that would feel very different.

I will prepare my child for school but am not a teacher. We read regularly and I am teaching her to be independent i.e. dress herself. I will read with her and support school. It is not a race!!!
Unfortunately I feel that comment is very judgemental and doesn't take into account they very different ablities and ages of children.

I also felt quite strongly that I knew DD was going to learn to read, and to be a good, fluent reader - let's face it, with two literate parents and a reasonable school it was a foregone conclusion that she would learn to read.

Whereas there were other skills (in particular, bilingualism) that were not such a given and I tend to put the effort in myself in those areas where the skills are harder to achieve.

YABU. Reading & writing is not always a result of the amount of effort parents put in. My DD comes from a very literate home (2 writers, huge vocabularies, thousands of books) and was read to from an early age. Turned out she is v intelligent but dyslexic. Took her a long time to read and write fluently, though now is an A level science student. It was a good learning experience for me because I was like you and thought reading was natural to all kids and the ones that couldn't were just either a) thick or b) had idle parents. That's one of the reasons I object to all those scare stories about 40 per cent of kids being unable to read properly at 11. How many have special needs?

Rolls on floor laughing that that the uber academic middle class demographic that is Mumsnet would not teach their pre-school DC to read because they couldn't be arsed.

then do Riven my mum is from Armenia where the school starting age is 7

A good friend of mine hired a tutor to teach her DS to read before he started school, this lovely, playful boy subsequently turned into a "disruptive monster" (his mother's words, not mine) when he started school as he was way ahead of the other kids, and was so bored waiting for them to catch up.

Years later he's back to the sweet kid he once was, and on exactly the same level as his peers - she says now that the money she spent tutoring him would have been better off spent on books they could have enjoyed looking at together, and she certainly didn't go down the tutoring route with her subsequent DC's, who are also lovely and doing well at school.

Do you also plan to teach them physics, long division and history before the school does?

Physics, yes. DS started figuring out gravity at 6mo, just like most other babies. Long division, no, because it's not age-appropriate. History, yes: "yesterday we did x."

I don't really understand why some people think that learning is a chore to small children. It isn't. They learn through play and figure out concepts (like gravity) by themselves without any pushing at all by anyone. I absolutely do not advocate pushing children of any age to do something they do not want to do and aren't ready for, because it is self-defeating, but if a child is interested then why not teach them? It seems an awful shame to stifle children by saying that they aren't old enough to learn something, when the very fact of them being interested shows that they are. It's also very interesting to see how this argument only applies to reading and writing, while the same parent would be thrilled if their child took an interest in anything else and would go out of their way to encourage it e.g. an interest in animals = go to the library to get books on animals, trips to the zoo etc.

FWIW I just asked my mum, who teaches 4-5 year olds, if she would be happy if a child came into her class able to read and write. Her reply: ecstatic.

Just to be clear though, I don't think that anyone should be 'ashamed' of their 4 year old not being able to read and write, and find that quite ridiculous.

My dd Paedritrician and Ed psych told me that it was the school job to teach dd to write as i was getting really down about it as dd 4.5 (just started mainstream foundation) shows no concentration or patience to do it, she will do when her cognitive skills are at that level. I have read to dd from when she was a baby, and she does read some signs when out. As she does have a dev delay of 2 years its slower than her nt peers.

I think it may be a generational thing. My DM taught me to read before I started school but it did me no favours.Once the teacher had worked out my reading age she sent me to a corner of the classroom and told me to pick up a free reading book and read quietly to myself! She never heard me read again.

Everyone else then just gradually caught up with me and by the time I went to secondary school I was just an average student.

My DM nagged me for ages to teach my DS to read when he was 4 and I refused. He started school knowing his alphabet and nothing more but was reading well by the end of the first term.

Interesting point about reading well soon after starting school. DS1 started school age 5 (we are in Scotland). The only letters he knew were the ones in his name, as he showed no interest in learning them, he likes numbers. He was the first child in his small class to get a reading book. It has not hindered him whatsoever. He picked up letters and reading very quickly once he started school as he was ready to learn.

Also as other have mentioned in many other parts of europe children do not start formal education until 6 or 7.

What a load of rubbish.

What a silly OP.

Slightly off topic, but to those who say they could read at 2.5/3/3.5 how do you know?

Genuine question, I remember very little of anything before I started school and judging by my mum's memory on other aspects of child rearing I wouldn't trust what she told me

Something I don't understand ...

both my boys started school being able to read , in no way did it make the teachers job more difficult.

I was told "oh,they will want to do it their way" how so?

It just helped them understand worksheets ,and get to choose free reading books from a different section that bit earlier

No big deal ...didn't hold them back ...didn't advance them.

It was just something that happened quickly for them.

I remember doing it.

And the family story has been told more than once or twice. It was the teacher who told my mum and she commented that it was something to be encouraged.

I have quite a good memory of lots of things that happened back then. It's yesterday I have trouble remembering

I was a strange child and could read before I was 3. My mum taught me whilst she was BFing my younger sister. I was bored most of the way through primary school, although my social skills took those years to catch up.
My reception age DD went in just about able to read a few weeks back. She taught herself, mostly, we've done bits, and I teach her about anything she's interested in, if I know the answers, so she probably knows a lot more science than most of the others, but now they are expected to form all their letters properly I am having to make myself work on that with her in her homework because my instinct is to be not too bothered about that .
I've found the advice very confusing as to what's expected before school - she can't do the stiff top button or tie her own tie but not through lack of trying and practising.

I know because I remember being able to read when I started infant school. I do not remember not being able to read so I have no idea when I learnt.