Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to buy my neice a 'welcome to womanhood' present...

255 replies

dandycandyjellybean · 30/09/2011 12:45

...as she started her periods yesterday? Any suggestions, if nbu?

OP posts:
skrumle · 30/09/2011 17:05

my DD is 11 and from the sounds of it similar to your niece. if she told one of her aunts, then i'm sure she'd be perfectly happy to receive a wee present.

i think it sounds good - how far wrong can you go with a present?? i'd be happy if someone got me a present for just about any reason...

soverylucky · 30/09/2011 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoremoaneeGrainger · 30/09/2011 19:34

I think you are a lovely aunty. ANd i think you should deffo send the choc and the hottie bottie !

ThatllDoPig · 30/09/2011 19:40

I think it is a good idea if you are lucky enough to have that kind of supportive, communicative relationship. You know her best and if you think she would like the gesture then hopefully you are right. I'm going to do something like it for my dd. There is some positive to be found in the monthly suffering. Women are amazing and your niece is joining us. I like the tribal, welcoming feel of the idea. Can't think of what to get her though. Maybe a special day together doing something that you know she would enjoy.

Digggers · 30/09/2011 19:46

Just to echo the mooncup suggestions, definately get her a moon cup! Don't initiate her into tampon and towel using, waste making, sea poluting, menstrual blood hating womanhood with gifts of tampons and panty liners, give her a great gift of alternative thought!

tyler80 · 30/09/2011 20:04

A mooncup would have scared me stupid at 13! Tampons seemed big enough at that age.

Ephiny · 30/09/2011 20:20

Yes I would have been horrified by the size of the mooncup at that age (got one in my 20s and was Shock when I saw it), was not ready even for tampons until my late teens. She could always put it aside and try it when she feels ready though.

FabbyChic · 30/09/2011 20:21

Seriously? Real shit to be honest. Its all downhill for her from now on in.

Blackpuddingbertha · 30/09/2011 20:23

This thread has brought back memories I had suppressed. I was given a gold bracelet by my parents to 'celebrate' my first period. I was mortified that my dad even knew! I still have that bracelet. I do not wear it.

Having said that I was 13 and at a very awkward age; maybe I'd have been happy with chocolate and a hot water bottle...

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 30/09/2011 20:24

Oh dear God no - leave the poor girl alone!! Not all of us embrace the wimminhood thing - some of us just want to have our periods in peace without the flags and bunting being hung out to the sound of trumpets.

dandycandyjellybean · 30/09/2011 20:26

Thank you Thatlldopig, you recognised my feelings exactly.

Ok, I just got off the phone speaking to her; I asked if she minded if I marked this rite of passage with a pressie, and no she didn't. She said she and her Mum were eating chocolate and watching Bridges of Madison County, which was a great 'cure' - I'm using her words.

Got her shoe size from my sister and I'm going to buy her a really funky pair of high heels, her first, and I shall include 3 large bars of choccie and a funky hottie - so there. Can we have a blowing a raspberry emoticon Grin. Now, please, please, please can we draw a line under this?

OP posts:
rhondajean · 30/09/2011 20:27

Two things on this have had me exploding with laughter....

Pin the ovaries game! Genius!

And the sanitary towel nappy cake....

There's a niche market for you!!

Salmotrutta · 30/09/2011 20:28

Oh Fabby - you are a one.

OP - I wouldn't even have done this for my DD who I did/do have a good relationship with. I lent an ear and supplied paracetamol and practical advice. I didn't want to turn a natural biological occurrence into a "woo" event.

Digggers · 30/09/2011 20:30

the girl in question sounds pretty relaxed and close to her aunt, so what better a person to allay her fears and educate her about the benefits of a mooncup? Wish someone had told me when I started to use one, years of icky tampons and towel use unecessary. And like you say, giving her one for her consideration and giving her the info isn't the same as forcing her to wear one.

"teens can use a Mooncup ? if a young teen I?d personally recommend Ladycup www.ladycup.eu as these are smaller and made from a softer silicone so may be easier for young teens to use, but Mooncup would be easy too.

Menstrual cups are very easy to use, the only issue really would be that to some people it?s a totally new concept so that may make it more difficult for them to get the hang of, but once you do it is second nature. As they are silicone they don?t cause friction when you try to insert them and they glide in more easily without getting stuck half way which can cause pain. You can wear a menstrual cup any time of the month (including to bed, for sports like swimming, during light-flow days, before your period is due) so you can actually try using one before your period is due to get the hang of it.

I think most teens are concerned at first about the size, but the vagina is made to accommodate much more than menstrual cups, the vaginal walls will stretch to allow for a menstrual cup the same way as it would for a tampon. FYI if you have problems with insertion first time, masturbation is best as this naturally relaxes muscles, the vagina becomes longer/wider and it lubricates itself, alternatively use lubrication like KY jelly or olive oil, menstrual cups can be used in bath or shower too which can make insertion for the first time easier. Menstrual cups really are not much bigger than tampons; there is a photo on this page comparing Mooncup (which is about middle sized compared with other menstrual cup brands) with a tampon - www.geocities.com/angua_nemi/inde?

They are easier for convenience too as they can be left in safely without leaking for up to 12 hours at a time, you rarely have to empty in public but when you do it is less hassle than with tampons or pads, you don?t have to carry spares or worry about running out, you don?t have to change sizes in accordance to flow, you can empty in the shower, they don?t cause menstrual cramps, you can get a clearer idea of your flow pattern, they last for up to 10 years so a lot cheaper than some other options, etc.

Obviously they are far better than tampons for teens, and for anyone, tampons prevent normal vaginal cleaning, give bacteria the perfect place to multiply, and commercial tampons contain chemicals, bleach and additives, thus why tampons are linked with so many health problems ranging from increased menstrual cramps to cervical cancer, vaginal infections to toxic shock syndrome. With teens these risks are increased due to immune systems not being as strong as in adults and walls of the vagina being more delicate so more prone to damage ? menstrual cups have no health risks associated with them what-so-ever so from a health and hygiene point-of-view they are far better for teens. Tampon health web site discussing various health issues concerning tampons - www.spotsite.org "

Salmotrutta · 30/09/2011 20:35

Quite the advert for mooncups there ...

Digggers · 30/09/2011 20:39

yeah sorry, just got carried away!

Blush
kat2504 · 30/09/2011 20:40

I wouldn't want to be dealing with a mooncup in a school toilet. They are bad enough for young girls dealing with their periods at the best of times due to broken locks, dirty toilets, lack of paper and soap etc etc. Yes you might not have to deal with it in the school toilets every day but I think your average 12 year old might not be so keen on it.

Salmotrutta · 30/09/2011 20:41
Grin
Salmotrutta · 30/09/2011 20:42

The Grin was at Digggers Smile

staylucky · 30/09/2011 20:48

Oh what a fab auntie! The heels sound like a wicked present. Wish I'd had someone so supportive, starting mine was like the Carrie film. I hope to do something like this for my dd, tbh anything that makes it feel more normal and special.
Btw poster up there I got to 30 without ever knowing what a mooncup was, I feel a bit ewwwww now.

BatsUpMeNightie · 30/09/2011 20:48

Wrong on so many levels OP but I think you see that now!

Salmo - let me know when you find out will you? This heatwave is killing me on top of my already over-enhanced sense of warmness!

Digggers · 30/09/2011 20:50

i always hear people tall about needing to take it out and wash it in public toilets as a reason not to use a moncup, but really it is just a misconception based on the habits of tampon users. Unless you have very very heavy periods, I doubt you'd ever need to empty your mooncup more than a few times a day at most (once in the morning, once at teatime, once a bedtime maybe). Personally i do it once a day. It's not the same as using a tampon and needing to change it frequently for hygiene, comfort and leakage issues. You can empty it when convenient. I've used one for about 7 years now, have probably average periods and I've never had to empty mine in a public toilet. And if for some reason you did have to, the a wipe with some toliet tissue or a rinse with a bottle of water would be fine till you got home.

Digggers · 30/09/2011 20:51

anyway, shall finish my thread hijack! high heels and chocolate,also splendid things! bravo!

Salmotrutta · 30/09/2011 20:51

My feet are burning BatsUp (love your name) ... and I ALWAYS used to have cold feet
It literally stops me sleeping they get so hot! Angry

BatsUpMeNightie · 30/09/2011 20:53

YYYYYYY - the hot feet! I don't know where to put mine at night! This time of life is really inelegant in every possible way!