sending a joint birthday card to twins is rude and tight

[MamaChocoholic]

they're only 1, so they won't know, but still. I'm angry for them. or does anyone think this is ok?

YABU.

As a twin, we had a joint card off friends but had separate presents.
That was fine with me, they only got cut up or chucked in the bin anyway.

YAB a bit U.

I have twins too, and it annoys me that DSS gets eg, a fiver for his birthday....the twins get a fiver for their birthday. They get one card, DSS gets one card. It annoys me because it is their grandfather that does this, and although they are only 2 it would be nice if he treated them like individuals (there is a whole lot more behind the cards and presents BTW).

Having said that, I can't be arsed with cards on the whole and bin them almost immediately. It just would've been nice for their fist birthday, the ones you want to keep, to have had one to each of them.

It works both ways. I often had twins at my birthday parties and they always only bought one gift and card from both of them...

My boys birthdays are in December and to be honest, I would be annoyed if they were given a gift for both their birthday and Christmas without my prior agreement. For instance, if it was a big or expensive gift, I would try to explain to them that they won't get so much at Christmas. (Explaining this to them would be like trying to plait fog).

Cards. Really can't be bothered. I don't have a big enough house or mantlepiece for lots of cards so the fewer the better. The boys can't read anyway so they just get chucked in a corner.

yanbu
I always send my nephews (twins) a card each posted seperately

Yabu. My friend has twins. I give one card signed from the family but 2 presents. Lots of people do that and it's not an issue for her.

No, YANBU. My DD's best friends are a set of identical twins - who are also their own people. They get a card each. If your birthday was on the same day as your sister, but one of you was 6yo and the other 7yo - would one card still be OK? NO? Then one card for twins isn't OK either. My birthday is on the same day as my cousin's (who I lived with for a while). The year we shared our birthday while living in the same house, should we have only got one card between us? I bloody hope not - why shouldn't we each get a separate card and present.

Which is another issue my DD's friends had through primary - they had a joint party, and over half of the people who came to the party brought one present between them. Would anyone else want to share their presents with their siblings, never being able to say "That was my present from XXX".

OP - YAmostdefinatelyNBU.

My best friend from 11-18 was an identical twin so I never really had a b/f because that was her twin. It's a unique situation but I don't think you should take offence. Our DS was born on Xmas day and over the years we have got used to the christmas cards saying "give DS best wishes for his birthday". We have got over it although it was annoying in the beginning - he's 17 this year although I do resent it when he says "you really had me on a crap day didn't you" . Four weeks early and lucky to live!!

YANBU. I wonder if people would think it was reasonable to send one card to siblings with birthdays a few days apart. My neices fall into that category and I would never just send one card.

so people bother to send your children a card, they take the time to choose, buy, stamp and post a card

but you call them rude and tight???

NICE!!!!! nice attitude you have

YANBU

I'm a twin and I HATED the fact I had to share my birthday (as did my brother) so having to share cards and presents was soooooo frustrating

we don't feel any different to brother and sister, no special twin thing -although twins are the norm in my family -there are 6 sets in the last 3 generations so it's never been seen as a special thing

we are siblings, people wouldn't expect other siblings to share would they?

I've never seen any child actually interested in the card. It's all about the present. One present between two is rubbish, but who really cares about the card, except the mum?

DS1 had really shit birthday cards for his 2nd birthday. It hasn't affected him in any way at all. This was nearly 11 years ago, and I'm, still

I would always send twins seperate cards. Maybe send the person who sent the card a joint birthday card on their birthday.

My mum kept all the cards I got for my 1st birthday. I have them now in a box of keepsakes. If you are a twin and have to share a card, it would be a fight over who gets to keep the memories so a card each seems more meaningful.

Blimey, I haven't even given dd her cardfrom me and dh yet...her 1st birthday was a month ago....she hasn't noticed yet.

The important thing is that they are treated as individuals as they grow up. It's a bit early to start worrying this won't happen, so try not to overthink the situation.

However, I don't think it's rude or tight. At worst it's thoughtless.

I would always send twins separate cards. At 1 it's more for the parents isn't it. I've made a fuss for both my DSs first Birthdays, knowing fully well they won't remember a thing or care, but for me I like to remember that special day.
They are two people and the parents are probably making every effort to raise them as individuals. I think if I knew that a parent felt very strongly about treating them as individuals then I'd send two cards.
I don't think I'd think they were rude and tight (unless they were like that anyway!), just a bit thoughless as notlet said.

Who sends cards to a one year old?? Like they care! It's a card for you, to celebrate your first year with them. Next bday should be individual cards tho

I hate the fact loads of people send my twins separate cards.

The kids don't give a monkeys about the card (and mine are far older than 1!) and it's all the more overpriced cardboard to go in the recycling.
They don't even care if they get a joint present as long as they get something

And my twins aren't lumped together by anyone at all even though they're very identical, anyone who knows them for more than 10 seconds can tell they're very very different children.

Narks me when mums of twins bleat about treating them as individuals then go on to dress them in identical oh so cute outfits (not saying OP does this but I know several who do)

I can honestly say the twin thing is not an issue for us, but maybe that's because we've never made it an issue.