I've just posted my last message in the PND section. Please read it if you commented on my thread

[michelleseashell]

I know most of you won't look there but I'd really like you to read my last message.

Thank you

I have read your message. I am so sorry that you are feeling so low and that you feel that Mumsnet has made you feel worse. I hope that you find help and begin to recover. Good luck

I agree with the posters on the thread that you just sound so isolated and distressed.

Please don't think nobody cares how you feel.

I hope you get find the support and care in RL you so obviously need.

Where is the pnd section?

The thread the OP's talking about is here Hammy.

Hi Michelle, all the very best to you. I hope you get the support you need, be easy on yourself

michelle. have been there, on the floor face down howling. many times.

not PND, but the regular depression. It very nearly killed me.

Sweetheart, if MN is not being helpful to you, then give it a swerve for a while, come back when you are feeling stronger.

PND is a disease. Diabetes is a disease, high blood pressure, asthma..

Depression can be treated, controlled and cured in many different ways.

However you choose to fight it and get yourself back is up to you, but doing nothing is not advisable. Depression literally IS hell on earth, but it doesn't need to be. There are literally THOUSANDS of ways to help yourself manage it, and eventually beat it.

Remember that nothing BAD lasts forever, and that every bad day must end, and it'll take you closer to a GOOD day. Cherish those good days, try to write them down and remember them.

Fight that Black Dog, don't let it win.

I didn't read your original thread (just skimmed it briefly after seeing this), but I will say that I wish you well, from one sufferer to another. I hope you can keep going second to second, breath in to breath out, one foot in front of the other until you find your answer. It truly is hell on earth for you and everyone around you, but there is a path out of the darkness and I know you'll find it when you're ready. Stay safe.

if i were OP i would turn my computer off for a few days - I dont think its helping her, she seems to get more frantic than helped. Making endless IDs and panicking because she cant post doesnt seem that useful.

Go for a walk in the lovely sunshine with your lovely child. Who knows, maybe it will make you feel a tad better, cant hurt can it

SpanishPaella speaks sense. You should use MN to the extent it helps you, but right now, it sounds like you need the love and affection your DH can give you and the medical help a doctor can give you. Good luck

You are not the only person to have these feelings.

They will pass.

You will get better.

Nobody can ever replace you to your family.

None of this is your fault.

I wish you well.

Take care of yourself, Michelle, you deserve it.

Thank you to everyone who has taken such an interest in me. I've just checked back in and I'm in tears reading all your kind messages. My doctor has spent his whole evening researching for a tablet I could take and even went to meet my husband at the late night chemist with a prescription for me. I'm going to be taking imipramine now which is an older type of AD and is hopefully going to make me feel better. I've just taken the first one now.

I'm truly frightened of getting another bad reaction from any posters so I'll be giving Mumsnet a wide berth but I might get the courage to come back if these tablets help me. It will be a name change though so maybe in a few weeks you'll see another douche bag ranting about her laundry again. Who knows, eh?

Anyway I'll just post something similar on my other thread and then it's a big old log off from this nut bag.

Big bunch of flowers to you all

I've just had a better read of you thread, and am so glad you were able to get such an amazing supportive response.

I think you have to ignore posters questioning the validity of your thread, just because of its sensitive nature.

The posters are talking about their private experiences and pain, and other posters (who have seen the very real evidence that people do feed off this kind of attention) were worried they might get hurt for bearing their souls.

For the genuine poster who is having difficulties, the troll label just heaps it on, but I believe the posters who question threads are doing it for good rather than crappy reasons, they're trying to protect the sometimes vulnerable posters replying.

MN can be used for lots of reasons, but if it causes more problems than it solves, it's probably time to have a little while off.

You get all the support you can get your hands on in RL

imipramine is good, it is one of the older ones, and the one that gave me least side effects. Dry mouth, but that's fine, just carry bottle of water with you, won't do you any harm to be hydrated anyway! it does work quite quickly too IIRC.

Chick, if you are a nut bag, we are ALL nutbags. Lurk and read stuff that interests you. You don't have to put your head above the parapet, you can read and share your thoughts on the threads of others, if you wish.

MN IS a good resource, but posting a thread can be difficult to deal with, very overwhelming.

all the best of luck, come back and say hello when you are up to it, or pop on to the PND thread and ask for help if you need it. The more you reach out to others, the better you will get at it. It's the isolation of depression that does so much damage.

i'm glad you've got more meds sorted, your doc sounds like a jewel.

please do keep us updated, and i really hope you feel better soon.

fwiw i have deregged from some forums as i was feeling worse being on them.

take a break, and hopefully you'll come back with a clearer head.

much love to you xxx

Sending you lots of love OP. I suffered from PND and it was the most scarey, isolating experience. Well done for approaching your doctor, that was a brave thing to do. I've also had some times where I felt really upset and freaked out by the things people posted on MN but I take a break from it and come back and find many lovely posters. Anyway, REALLY hope you feel better soon.

Such great news to tell you all! I'm feeling better already. Logged back in to let you all know. Could change my name to Captain Flounce at this rate but forgive me.

I've got some side effects; I'm sweating like nobody's business, I'm very wobbly on my feet and I've got a bit of a tummy ache but these are all things I can deal with. That horrid anxiety and suffocating guilt feels more distant. I finally managed to tell my husband I loved him without feeling like it was an apology for him being married to such a loser.

Thanks everyone again a million times over. I'm going to join the chorus of those saying go to the doctor to anyone feeling the same as me. There is something out there that can make things easier. I was the biggest Doubting Thomasina out there but I'm converted now!

Amazing :)
That's the advantage of the old-style ADs, they work much quicker. So glad you're feeling more positive, Michelle, that's made my night!

Do keep an eye on your reactions - maybe ask DH to - as imipramine can actually make you manic Which could be a blessed relief after feeling miserable for so long, but not the way to go long-term ...

I'm really pleased for you. x

I love your turn of phrase. I meant it when I said you should write. Glad to hear you sounding so much more positive.

They're making me feel chirpy and hopeful but I also feel very, very tired and I'm in bed now about to get some sleep. It's nothing compared to that manic, hysterical, speedy feeling I had with paroxetine. I was just writing on my original thread about accidentally throwing water all over myself just after I'd taken the paroxetine and not even noticing I'd done it.

Anyway, goodnight to you all. Lot's of love from Captain Shitbummumseashellflouncealot :o

Night

Oh, there you are. Good. Well done for persevering - so glad you're feeling better already. Keep writing, please!

Wow!

Bursts into song
"what a difference a day makes..!"

You sound so much better. Talk to your Dr about the side effects, keep up a dialogue with him and if ultimately they are not for you, there will be other mediation to try. There are SOO many different ADs love.

Well done love, you are on the way to recovery! Keep talking to DH. your Dr and to us, don't let this thing isolate you. You will be OK!

I'm getting on alright with them, hissyness thanks! I'm getting quite a few physical symptoms like feeling tired and a bit sweaty but they don't make me feel 'weird'. I've got two weeks to try them but I I'm pretty sure I will be getting some more.

It's probably my own fault ssri's aren't for me. I've made myself ill too many times at parties on pills and powders It's like when you make yourself vom on snakebite and you can never drink it again. Taking that paroxetine was like being forced to drink snakebite on a roundabout. Green :( face! Errrryuckkk