to think IPOAT gels will never marry well if they continue to be so fast?

[CaptainHornblower]

Happy New Year Hec!

We LOVE visitors.

Hello Hecate!

Can you cook? There is a vacancy.

Happy new year. I am going to spend the year coughing I think, based on what I have done so far. It is a dull hobby but it clears you a space on the train.

I am a bloody fabulous cook!

But don't you think, as I am a guest, you should take my coat and put the kettle on, before turning your mind to thoughts of setting me on?

You agree, don't you Hully?

No.

no way to treat a guest...mutter mutter mutter...not even a cup of bloody tea...mutter mutter mutter rassa frassing wrissa rassyn

Oh jolly good! That's the spirit. We are hopeful of guests for dinner, there will be 20 of us and we will need several courses. There are some pigeons in the ha-ha, you could do something with those.

And do make yourself a tisane if you have the time.

ma'am.

A new Cook! How wonderful. We shall of course miss the Old Cook. Who could forget her Courgette Surprise and her Fig Delight?

I shall attend to the wine cellar until you are settled in. Cook had to be dragged out but be assured, all is quiet there now.

Isn't it exciting? I am hopeful of pigeon mousse this evening.

There's a wine cellar?

Cook? Cook?

Oh dear Miss Fids, I fear we have another tippler on our hands.

Dinner ish sherved

Itsh a bit burned

Hecate! lovely to see you!

I fear I have arrived too late to warn you all of dear Hecate's lady lush erm 'situation' She cannot be trusted near rubbing alcohol, let alone the blasted wine cellar.

We should entrust the cooking the Bertha and dear Dave this evening.

Bessie, be a lamb and ask the kitchen to prepare some raised game pie.

Are we never to have pigeon mousse?

Pop her in with dear Mr Rochester, on th eopposite side of his poor leg, she'll be company for him.

Rest assured Hully dear, Myrtle is renowned for two things, her beautiful hair and making a mean pigeon mousse.

I do hope Myrtle won't forget her mop cap. I don't want to spend another two days pulling hairs from my teeth.

I have never been in the wine cellar. Is it just wine down there or are the rumours of Hully's old beaus being down there true?

Oh very true Sybil, she has at least 7 down there....

Sadly, no luncheon today, ladies. Myrtle is otherwise occupied.

No luncheon?

How are we to run an Empire when the very bulwarks of civilisation are pulled out from under us?

Hasn't that other tipsy cook surfaced yet? Put her to work.

Lawks, Hully. I found them all together

Apple?

Right. Sack the lot of them. Filth.

No I don't want an apple. I want a kipper and the prospect of a decent luncheon.

Idonwannanappleeither :(

I want a decent luncheon too, however I have started a weight loss programme and need to consult with cook

perhaps an egg white posset and water tisane for you, Jins?

I quite fancy a haunch of venison with pheasant crisps and a jus of juniper berries.

Dave does a splendid Rabbit Fricassee!

I vote whomever was in the kitchen last cook the whole bally lot.

We want 15 courses and entertainment afterward. I want dinner and dancing dammit!