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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to already be disappointed at the prospect of same old xmas?

32 replies

happyclapper · 27/09/2011 19:31

I love xmas but have suddenly realised that it is the actual build up I like, i.e. nights out (x2 probably oooh!), kids stuff at school, carols etc. The actual day is a disappointing let down of kids opening presents too quickly, crap present from partner and being stuck in the kitchen...a place I try to avoid the rest of the year. Oh and having to spend day with in-laws.
I have tried to minimise culinary effort by buying M & S preped stuff but lets face it will still be in there for a frantic few hours + washing up.
Wouldn't mind going out for lunch but DP and in-laws very small eaters and kids too young so begrudge spending a fortune.
Any ideas please?

OP posts:

Groovee · 27/09/2011 19:35

We had chinese one year at 5pm. We pre-ordered and they delivered it at 5pm on the dot. It was a fab meal. Another time a woman delivered it to my mum's all prepped and then my mum just reheated really easily.

DontGoCurly · 27/09/2011 19:37

I disappointed at the prospect of Christmas at all. What's the point of it. Same thing every year. Boring. Boring. Boring. Waste of money.

Mandy2003 · 27/09/2011 19:39

Hmm... I found out that the gastropub where I work is open Xmas Day...

It would be nice to go out - and it might stop my Dad falling asleep the minute he's been fed and so winding DS up!

WilsonFrickett · 27/09/2011 19:39

'If you do the same you've always done, you'll get the same you've always got'.

If you don't like your usual day then change it. And YABU for posting about that day in fricking October!!!!!!!

fedupofnamechanging · 27/09/2011 19:39

I'm with you. All I really want to do is chill out with dh and the kids and see my family for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Instead, they all come here and I spend all day cooking and washing up and then they all talk through the Doctor Who Christmas special.

aldiwhore · 27/09/2011 19:40

Buffet. Take away. Umm..... snack the whole day through on pre-prepped goodies?

Paper plates (good quality ones) or plastic ones that you don't mind chucking (sorry eco warriors) or EVEN real, cheap plates you can accidently drop before you wash up?

Don't BOTHER washing up? Pretend you're hammered and go to bed at washing up time?

Never ever ever allow your DH to buy you a gift. TELL him you'd rather buy your own as you know exactly what you want, after the hurt had died down he'll realise how lucky he is.

LET the kids open their gifts quickly and TRY not to get stressed about it... ITS CHRIIIIIIISTMAS, let them go crazy for 10 minutes. Make them clear up the paper, and make them spend the afternoon playing with their gifts AND writing thank you cards (if you're really evil).

Start the morning, no matter how early with ONE glass of bucks fizz, before you know it, it will be nearly lunchtime, you'll be starving and ready to heat things up in the oven.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 27/09/2011 19:41

Ration the gifts through the day. We used to open our under the tree presents in the morning and save stockings for after lunch. Maybe have something special for the children to open before bed, like new nightwear or teddy bears or a new book.

Prepare as much as you can the day before, buy ready made or tell in-laws to bring the first course or pudding with them to help you out.

Put your foot down about being helped with the washing up.

And perhaps go out for a walk after Christmas dinner. We live opposite woodland and love to go out for an hour if the weather allows it. Even if you only go to the park, it's usually lovely and peaceful and it makes a change from everyone falling asleep through the Queens speech after lunch.

Give your DH a list and tell him to pick one thing to surprise you. Or get someone to drop a not so subtle hint on your behalf.

Organise a treat for Boxing Day, or in the week before New Year, like a pantomime or a trip somewhere or a meal out. We once used the Christmas dinner leftovers to pack a picnic of turkey and stuffing sandwiches, took soup in flasks and drove to the nearest seaside. It was freezing, so we ate in the car looking at the sea from the cliffs, but then we wrapped up and had a walk on the beach and went home. It was only a few hours, but it was cheap and a lot of fun. And it was something to look forward to for after Christmas day.

PsychoThreadKiller · 27/09/2011 19:42

Tell your DP what you want so you don't get disappointed. Surely better to get something you want, even if it's not a surprise.

Why do you have to cook? Why can't your DP cook? They are his parents coming, so he should take on the burden of the entertainment (including food).

Collision · 27/09/2011 19:43

So do what you want to do!

Ring the changes. Book something like this

Do an afternoon tea for inlaws at 5.30pm and save some presents for later.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 27/09/2011 19:44

Disposable plates is the other option for the washing up. You can get nice ones now that won't go soggy as soon as the gravy hits them.

Shaxx · 27/09/2011 19:45

If you have a few people coming over, have a 'bring a dish' event.

Tell your dp what you'd like for a present.

Choufleur · 27/09/2011 19:45

Don't invite you ILs for dinner.

Get everything ready the day before - all veg peeled/chopped - so it just needs bunging in oven. Christmas dinner is really just like a big roast.

Leave washing up til boxing day and let DH do it as you've cooked.

Drink lots.

Andrewofgg · 27/09/2011 20:56

Hibernate for the duration :o

troisgarcons · 27/09/2011 21:05

I used to love Christmas ... now both sets of parents are dead its like any other Sunday - so for those of you who moan and whine about parents and inlaws ..... you dont know how lucky you are really :-(

rhondajean · 27/09/2011 21:14

Get takeaway.

For the last few years we have gone to the pictures on Xmas eve, followed by turkey dinner out (you can get a 3 course set menu in a niceish family restuarant for 20 - 25 quid on Xmas eve, probably treble that on Xmas day). We arrive home tired, having had a few glasses of wine, and watch some festive tv.

Xmas day we then chill, play with stuff, watch new dvds, and get in Chinese. No stress, plates in dishwasher, mid afternoon nap, its nice to just have a day with all four of us at home for the full day, its quite possibly the only day in the year it happens.

rhondajean · 27/09/2011 21:16

Oh and even in your case, invite inlaws for Xmas dinner out on Xmas eve 0r alternatively boxing day would work - and make it clear that this Xmas you will not be out of your lovely new pjs for the day (which hubby will be buying you for Xmas) and visitors are not welcome.

I also find it helpful to get as many Xmas gift guides as I like and mark off stuff I like the look of, though I am lucky, DH has great present buying instincts.

troisgarcons · 27/09/2011 21:20

We used to have lovely Christmases ..... we all used to rotate (LOL) ...If I did Xmas, MIl would do Boxing day, Mum would do NYD ... and all the neighbours would come in too (who ever hosted Boxing night).....then we'd all move a day the following year....... its really quite sad now. We do invite in neighbours who are alone, but they dont stay long (Jeez, this sounds like a CSI special!!!!)

mynewpassion · 27/09/2011 21:25

In my family for the adults, we make christmas wish lists. It has to be reasonable. Its usually guaranteed that one of the wish items will be granted.

I would agree that it sounds boring but it saves time and the fake ooh-I-like-this expression. I instituted it because I can't bother to be stressed about the shopping for adults when I have a million other things to worry about. Some people don't like it but they have come around to it because they get what they want and they also aren't stressed about it.

RedHelenB · 27/09/2011 21:25

I always much prefer Christmas Eve to Christmas day.

rhondajean · 27/09/2011 21:25

SFIL died earlier this year trois so we will be having a different type of day to what I described, cant have MIL on her own, and I like her and it will be lovely, but the pjs and takeaway are my ideal :-)

fedupandtired · 27/09/2011 21:42

If you don't like what you normally do then do something different. We went away last year to a lovely hotel in the UK and apart from the fact I had the flu and felt rotten it was great. We were going to do the same this year but I've been made redundant so can't really afford it.

Hiding all the kids presents in the car without them seeing them was interesting and involved some pre-planning and shipping kids off to my mums but it was well worth it.

fluffles · 27/09/2011 21:44

so go out for lunch, spend the money, you're not paying for the food, you're paying to not feel like this! i don't see why you would begrudge that

EightToSixer · 27/09/2011 21:56

I do our Christmas dinner on Christmas eve evening each year.
On Christmas eve, DH cooks bacon sardines for lunch and gives us each a DVD wrapped up. DCs and DH then watch some of these in the afternoon while I cook, blasting out Christmas songs on spotify (I'm still in the Christmas spirit at this point because it's not yet Christmas day which helps). I set the table nicely and we eat when it's dark, with candles and lights and nice music. Kids then bathed and in new PJs and off to bed. DH washes up!
Christmas day itself then is for quiet, picking at leftovers or a simple dinner and nice puddings and I don't miss any of the fun present opening by being in the kitchen all day.
It works best for us really as I'd hate to be in kitchen all day on Christmas.
Kids aren't allowed to open everythig at once either, presents are spread throughout the day and played with rather than moving straight on to the next thing.
OP - if you don't like the same old Christmas then change things up a bit and give it a go.

CMOTdibbler · 27/09/2011 22:16

I agree that if you don't like it, don't do it ! DH and I have steadfastly avoided being tied down to any expectations over the years and have done all sorts of things.

You don't have to cook a big roast if you don't want to (you could have a snack food and pudding only day if you chose), you don't have to have the ILs round (or indeed anyone), and you certainly don't have to have a crap present. I heartily recommend Amazon wishlists as theres a huge range of options, dead easy to use, and you still get a suprise

unpa1dcar3r · 27/09/2011 22:30

Oh for heavens sakes!
Bah humbug springs to mind.
I'm used to having, since adulthood, all my family around me- the one day i insisted my daughters never went to their dads when they were small and as they've got older and we've added to our family, son in laws, a grand daughter, more children etc, it's been hectic, busy, hard work, noisy and chaotic all day. Not to mention the 500 odd presents needed to be bought/wrapped by me for mine and all the extended family.
But you know what; this year one daughter and partner off travelling abroad, the others partner insists on having their 1st Christmas indoors with my grand daughter and I have separated from my partner (although he'll be here that day) so just us and the boy who don't much like Christmas anyway (SLD) and so I won't have all the noise, chaos, the making 3 types of stuffing, 3 types of meat, pigs in blankets and so on...and I'm really sad about that.

Enjoy the time spent with family, make the most of it cos one day they'll all be gone off doing their own thing and it'll be awful.

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