I don't want this woman as DS' key worker

[pyjamasinbananas]

DS has been going to MIL nursery since January. He loves it and most of the staff are brilliant. We had some concerns he was showing signs of ADHD/AS and voiced it with nursery. Found out from a friend who works there that a member of staff had said 'if I fed my child shit and let him get away with everything then they'd have ADHD too'
Put in a complaint and this woman has blanked me since but the next group for DS to go into is hers. AIBU or unfair to DS to say to MIL I don't want him changing groups if he is going into hers? He doesn't eat 'shit' incidentally and all I let him get away with is chattering and being a bit hyper when I pick him up as he's excited to see me and DD

She's the deputy manager. So that she speaks about children like that!! DS is a PITA at times I'm not being all PFB about him but she fucked me right off!! I'm on edge now at pick ups that DS will do/say something and there will be that judgey look. Although he stabbed her with a toy kitchen knife yesterday (being a pirate not a yob ) and I had to hide and giggle a bit.

I think your friend is being U actually, no way should she have passed on what her colleague had said, it doesn't matter what was said! Very unprofessional imo.

Your MIL owns the nursery? Have you discussed this with her?

God I hate people like that! My dd has ADHD and with excitable kids you have to pick your battles you can't jump on them everytime they get excited! My dd is like a rubber ball bouncing off Walls constantly!!
Tell them firmly that she is not to work with your ds as she clearly has no sympathy and understanding for SN whatsoever

Lmao that he stabbed with a toy knife he clearly has her card marked :)

Nursery don't think his behaviour is a problem. So I think he must just be naughty rather than SN which of course makes me feel worse that I thought there was something wrong and it was just me being crap!!
Spoke to MIL she had words with the woman but they're quite good friends

I was with you right up until you said "he stabbed her with a toy kitchen knife yesterday (being a pirate not a yob :o) and I had to hide and giggle a bit."

I think it's hard to tell in nursery age kids whethe they are just naughty or not or whether they are just lively! Kids this age are so full of beans and it should be embraced by the bursery

Miette- she stabbed him back with it. Am
I missing something here? He was role playing being a pirate as he does most days from his current Peter pan obsession. It was funny as she is such a snooty bitch tbh.