to think that Charlotte's Web is inappropriate for a 4 year old ?

[OnEdge]

My DD 4 has just started in reception. Each morning they choose a book to read and bring it home and we read it to her. I am not familiar with this book. So we all settled down and I began reading it to my 1,2 and 4 year old. I had to really quickly sensor it. I think that the threat of death to the pig is a bit much for a 4 year old to understand, there is reference to a man fetching his axe to kill the baby pig. Also, she is trying to grasp English, and this is an American book. Had I read it out word for word, she would not have understood much of it, and the bit she understood would have disturbed her.

Do you think IABU ? Or is it inappropriate for her ?

I see you don't mind the American version of that word then.

Why do you doubt that? Is that supposed to be an insult? Very weird.

Well, I agree that I could explain many things to her, I just don't see the need to do so at her age.

She thinks you are B12 deficient, needsa.

She thinks you are B12 deficient, needsa.

I know, she's a brilliant physician. Imagine being able to diagnose that from my posts alone. OR, she's Googled it frantically, discovered "B12" and thinks it's an intelligent thing to write.

Pathetic and embarrassing I'm afraid, OP.

My 4 yr old dgs knows that meat comes from animals and he has some awareness of death.I think Charlotte's Web is a beautiful story but beyond most 4 yr olds.

OP I think you need to get a grip ,and soon.I understand you want to protect her but at school she will come across these concepts,in assembly they will think about people in famine or war zones,they will have own clothes days for children in need,etc etc.In reception she risks being laughed at for not knowing that pork is pig and beef is cow.
When my ds was in reception one of his friends mums died ,he needed to understand that she had gone not that she was sleeping etc.
Like it or not she is out in the big wide world now and you need to give her the tools and the confidence to deal with it otherwise she could find it a very frightening place.Your job as a parent is to give her the confidence to grow up not to lock her away in an imaginary world where only nice things happen

Needsaholiday - you are clearly rambling due to vitamin B12 deficiency. As any decent child psychologist will tell you it is foolish, ney neglectful, to let a child make the connection between the meat on its plate & an animal, it is best to let them create a fantasy involving faries. & Fungus.

'The idea & actually of death should be expunged from all historical, factual & literal data & should only be happened upon by the individual when death itself is occuring. To allude to beforehand would be to place the individual in such an existential conundrum that life itself would become impossible.'

Ref: Dr Spiders - All I know Is True - Pub 2011 by I think you're talking bollocks OP.

How are your children expected to gain a concept of any of these things, op, if you won't even mention them to them? Or is it the teacher's job to do all that?

Aren't you worried that if you don't encourage this sort of intellectual curiosity, that you might be suppressing their brain development?

You might want to know that your dd is at a perfect age for learning another language, in fact, has been since she was born, but in a few years' time she will be far less receptive to other languages than she is now. It's probably about the best time you could introduce Americanisms to her. She doesn't really need to understand what America is first.

I suppose you're one of those who thinks that kids can't possible learn multiplication tables before they understand the concept of multiplication?

Hmm. PIL are farmers, so DC are familiar with the idea of where meat comes from. And they are pretty fascinated with nature and food chains, and life cycles and what have you. But seriously, DS was in pieces the first time he read Charlotte's Web. He was older - 7? - and I don't have any problem with that really - being moved by a book is a good thing I think - but possibly not to that extent at just 4.

I was very protected as a child from scary stories, and TV and horrible things but I think it made me worse, as I didn't learn to handle fear at all and am rather phobic as an adult. I go more for gradual expose for my children and self-censorship, asking them if things are too scary or horrible, and gauging their reactions. They seem much less scared than I was at that age. I'm not trying to desensitise them, but building a fluffy bunny world isn't realistic either (you can't avoid newspaper headlines, for example, even if you don't let them watch the news, once they can read).

JUX she is 4 ! Calm down.

I just think its too young to be reading her stories about men threatening piglets with axes, its hardly suppressing her brain development if I hold off that stuff for a while.

My DD used to go to sleep to the audiobook of CW at 4yo, read by the (American) author. It was her bedtime CD of choice for months - hasn't had any effect on her whatsoever, although I can understand your reservations.

A lot of it will probably go over her head and if she does ask any questions just answer them as simply as you can.

Thanks Dum

Not encouraging it either though is it OnEdge?

My favourte stories when I was young were the original Grimm's Fairy Tales, I was particularly taken by the end of one where the horrid sisters were sent out to sea in a spiked barrel.

My 4 & 3 yo DCs love Struwwelpeter, I suggest you try that.

Around the same time (or probably a bit younger) she was inspecting some vacuum packed pork in the supermarket and noticing it was a bit bloody:

"What's that mummy"

"It's blood"

"Poor chicken"

"No it's pork. Pork comes from pigs."

"Oh, poor piggy...can we go and get some chocolate biscuits?"

Introducing the idea of death and other nasties is far scarier to us than it is to our kids most of the time.

Tbh, I couldn't care less about Charlotte's Web, it never figured on a list of books I would have liked dd to read. I thought the film was OK, but a bit saccharine. Dd saw the book in a shop when she was about 7 and wanted it, so as she'd already seen the film I bought it for her. She read it once and chucked it. She would almost certainly have enjoyed it. far more at 4.

What I'm more concerned is that you say things like your dd hasn't a concept of what America is, well why not just mention it to her? The book gave you a perfect opportunity to broaden her mind and open up her imagination to other cultures and countries.

Death. When she goes to school, what if one of her class mates' gps dies and they are terribly sad? Is your dd going to be saying "I expect they'll wake up soon" in response? What if, living on a farm, your dd comes across a dead mouse/rat/stillborn lamb?

Your stance on food is socially irresponsible, and you are in danger of making a rod for your own back.

Oh, and stifling of curiosity and limiting opportunities for intellectual growth do affect brain development in the early years.

What is wrong with you gotta come see this? We have just as many if not more stupid Englishisms

Jux A 4 year old brings a book home and we start a discussion on mortality, nutrition other cultures, countries, continents ? Really ? I think she is just too young.

She has seen dead things, and referred to them as dead, but I didn't feel the need to explain the violent nature of their deaths and the suffering that may have been endured.

The point is that the piglet in the book is made aware of its impending death, and the way in which he is going to be killed. He is aware of his own mortality and very fucked up by it. I don't see the need to explain all that to a 4 year old. Its a bit different to her seeing a dead mouse or her friend's GP dying.

How is my stance on food socially irresponsible, and for that matter WTF does socially irresponsible even mean ?

minimischief What is wrong with it is that it is a school book, shouldn't she be taught the correct way at school? That is a bit different to coming across stuff at the cinema or on TV.

Really, death is preferable to the horrors my DD inflicts upon local Coleoptera & Lepidoptera in the name of experiment (although she is keen on Arachnida obv so Charlotte would be safe).

She is three but quite comfortable with the idea of death (as she understands it), also just checked your profile & see you're a nurse so hardly inured to it yourself. What exactly are you trying to protect her from?

spiderslegs I'm trying to protect her from images of big fat American men wielding axes on piglets.