to think that Charlotte's Web is inappropriate for a 4 year old ?

[OnEdge]

My DD 4 has just started in reception. Each morning they choose a book to read and bring it home and we read it to her. I am not familiar with this book. So we all settled down and I began reading it to my 1,2 and 4 year old. I had to really quickly sensor it. I think that the threat of death to the pig is a bit much for a 4 year old to understand, there is reference to a man fetching his axe to kill the baby pig. Also, she is trying to grasp English, and this is an American book. Had I read it out word for word, she would not have understood much of it, and the bit she understood would have disturbed her.

Do you think IABU ? Or is it inappropriate for her ?

Actually, she kind of is Esian, she asked if the threat of a man killing the pig was inappropriate for a 4yo to read or hear about.

Oh, sorry. No idea why I have an echo.

OnEdge 'you gotta come see this' isn't that different to 'you have to come and see this' though is it?? Easy enough to understand! And most kids of this age understand that people from different countries speak differently/different languages I would have thought...

I avoid exposing her to the concept of death just yet.

I don't think it's necessarily right for a young four year old and a 1 and a 2 year old really as they won't have the concentration for the whole book (it's a chapter book isn't it?), but an older 5/6 year old will love it. By about 4/5, both mine knew that meat is dead animals and what different animals make different types of meat.

The film is pretty emotional, my nearly 6 year old had a little tear at the end, but since she's about 5, she can watch sad things without them overwhelming her.

DD has known that the meat she eats comes from real animals since she was tiny, way before school age. I feel it is important that she knows where her food comes fom be it potatoes from the ground or sausages from pigs.

DD is 9y now but I read Charlotte's Web to her when she was about 5y iirr and she saw the film around the same time I guess. I loved the story as a child. It didnt distress DD at all.

The curriculum in Reception usually involves talking about foods and where they come from so she will be learning this anyway- I am amazed that at 4 your dd doesn't kow the difference between vegetables and meat and where they come from. What does she think fish fingers are made of??

In regards to Charlottes web, the context should be fine for a four year old but I would have thought it a little long and wordy- most young children prefer picture books still and find them easier to follow. CW is more suitable foe age 7 and up.

Amd I stood in front of the telly for the bit in Chicken Run where the chicken gets its head chopped off (in sillouhette) for about two years.

OnEdge, that's fair enough. But a lot of 4 year olds will have been exposed to death - through relatives or pets dying. My 4 year old lost his grandfather this year so he's all too aware of death and I don't suppose he's unusual in that respect.

But if you don't allow children to know about death from the off, how and when are you going to tell them about it? God it must be frightening to get to 8 and find out people kark it.

Watch The Lion King with her and have a little weep together.

Ds nearly 9 and I think it was appropriate for him. Did your dd bring home the original novel or a story book version? There's a lot in the book - me and ds learnt stuff - like "cheese it!!" I had to google it. I think too old for 4 yr old but not specifically the pig killing subject but the book- language etc in general.

Children often become fascinated by death (or sad if they experience it first-hand) at around four, I've found. We had lots of 'shall I ask granny if she is going to die very soon as she's so old?' ('Noooooooooo') and ranking of who will die first, discussions of heaven, watching animals on Deadly Sixty catch and eat each other. I don't think mine are goulish, I don't know how you actually avoid talking about it at all (don't you ever see roadkill even?)

Hulababy I do intend to make her aware of where her food comes from, we live on a farm, it is all around us. I just don't want her to have to deal with the concept of death until necessary, I like the idea of her being innocent and care free. I intend her to know where babies come from too and will promote safe sex, but not at the age of 4.

I avoid exposing her to the concept of death just yet. crikey - however have you done that???
Just asking for trouble imo. What if she did suddenly lose someone close to her? I feel a little age appropriate preparation is sensible.

How on earth does she not know where meat comes from living on a farm? The mind boggles.

I wish I could get my 4 year old to sit still for a page of Charlottes Web!
The only book I can read from start to finish without him running off is Brown Bear!

We have watched the Lion King, and she asked me what was had happened to the Dad, I said that he was very tired and gone to sleep for a long time I sat there and cried my eyes out though

I read 'chapter' books to DD, who is also 4, and I haven't read Charlotte's Web yet. Children's literature is very much my thing and I have spent far too long thinking about the optimum age to introduce various books , CW is on a later list. Not for the content at all, DD knows all about that, but just because I think you can sour children towards classic stories if they're read too early.

So I guess YANBU to find it too old for her. But YABU for the reasons you said - the language/American thing is also a bit odd imvho. Is Thomas the Tank engine OK? Alice? Beatrix Potter? Some of the language in English stories isn't terribly clear or relevant now either. We manage

My dd knew the story from about the age of 4, we have the book in the house, its one of my old ones and she always loves looking at my baby handwriting inside the cover etc. She has seen a few of the film versions, she is now 6 and her sister is almost 4 and we have read the book to them.

Both my dds have been to funerals etc and know about death, we had a cat that died when she was very young. I found Finding Nemo and Up to be a lot more upsetting - for me, she was very stoic and pragmatic about it - I put her to shame with my blubbing

Oh dear! Its a story!
I dont quite get why people are so precious about birth sex and death. They are all part of life.
People are born, procreate and die. Why hide it?

What is the rush ? Why not let her be a child, untroubled for as long as possible ? She sees the cows mounting each other, but i don't feel the need to explain the concept of reproduction, why the rush to explain death. Also, I doubt explaining about dying to her would help her to cope with grief, nothing really prepares one for that does it ?

I expect it would be fine. I read The Twits to my 4 year old over the weekend and he didn't seem traumatised by it at all. I'd forgotten how violent it was!

at Hardgoing - ds said to my parents the other day "Granny, when you and Grandpa die, can I live in your house?!" - you can see he is both matter of fact about death and mercenary. Such is innocence at the age of 4!

OP - surely if you let your daughter know now about death, meat etc now, she will start to process such things in her own, 4-year-old way? As she gets older, to have the concept introduced when she's capable of much more logical, rational thought, she may react way more strongly to these ideas than if she'd had a gentle introduction. Also, she's far more likely to have the idea rudely thrust upon her by classmates rather than by gentler conversations with you.

You may find that school will discuss where food comes from, even in reception.