to think that Charlotte's Web is inappropriate for a 4 year old ?

[OnEdge]

My DD 4 has just started in reception. Each morning they choose a book to read and bring it home and we read it to her. I am not familiar with this book. So we all settled down and I began reading it to my 1,2 and 4 year old. I had to really quickly sensor it. I think that the threat of death to the pig is a bit much for a 4 year old to understand, there is reference to a man fetching his axe to kill the baby pig. Also, she is trying to grasp English, and this is an American book. Had I read it out word for word, she would not have understood much of it, and the bit she understood would have disturbed her.

Do you think IABU ? Or is it inappropriate for her ?

Yes, it is. And your point is?

Red riding hood was saved by a man with an axe who chopped off the wolf's head.

The first two little pigs died. The third scalded the wolf with boiling water.

My all time nightime favourite story was one my Grandmother read to me called The Princess and the Donkeyskin... the beautiful princess had to be loved for herself not her looks so slaughtered a donkey and dressed in its bloody skin.

All stories from when I was less than 4 years old.

My life in stories has contained beauty, fear, love, hatred, goodness, evil, sadness, gore.... I truly believe its helped me cope with the real world. Even when it upset me, most stories for children have a message that outshines all the bad stuff, without the bad stuff the good stuff doesn't seem as rosey.

My last post was for the OP.

Onedge, I feel for you a lot. I know someone who is very anxious about their health though (hypochondriasis is a psychiatric disorder, not just being a bit of a hyphochondriac), it's very important not to pass that on to your child. I think that Charlotte's Web is probably a bit much for your very little ones, but stories with ill-health and death in abound in children's literature and I think you won't be able to avoid them for ever (see my list of the Dahl's characters who fear death or die). It is one of the great themes of life.

It sounds like you are trying to shield them because you are anxious about these things. Sure, no-one is suggesting you view snuff videos together, but talking about fear of being eaten by the farmer for a pig is not at this level, nor is the death of a spider (do you always take them outside).

I am not trying to be hard on you, more just to encourage you to face your own fears a little and perhaps find age-appropriate stuff to share together.

aldiwhore is dead right, of course.

The thing is, by avoiding books with any kind of conflict or scariness in, you're stopping your child from hearing about how the hero overcomes said conflict or scariness. You miss all the triumph and courage and the good stuff.
Very few books have darker elements without them being balanced by a good outcome or an eventual victory. Wilbur is saved, as is Babe. Bambi has his own babies. Mowgli finds a new family. It's all good in the end.

I think it is very wrong to tell a child that someone/something that has died has 'gone for a very long sleep'

I know that is judgemental and I generally try and avoid being quite so blunt about parenting issues but I do feel strongly about this one.

Regarding the Americanisms... I can understand why that would be tricky if you're learning English, but at 4, I was still learning English, and I AM English, my mum would simply say "this is an American story, they say things differently there, but its still English" then she'd add "You are NOT American". She'd clarify. Its not hard really.

Thanks Hardgoing
Needsaholiday My point is that I think if I fed my children a meat free diet their nutrition would be compromised, and they would lack vital nutrients.

Well, you're wrong. Of course they wouldn't. You're clueless, OP.

I just substitute words if I don't think they will understand the Americanisms although to be honest they once referred to skipping as jumping rope, I blame Dora Although they do love knowing there are different words for the same thing - pavement/sidewalk, breaktime/recess and of course their absolute favourite trousers/pants.

aldiwhore I agree that it is possible to explain the Americanisms to her, but I just think that they may complicate it all for her when she is trying to grasp English. I think that i am trying to protect her from a lot of stuff, but I don't see that as being wrong, and it is a conscious decision. I am trying to keep it all simple for her, there is plenty of time when she is older to deal with the complications of life. Its just how I see it. Maybe I wish my parents had put more thought into the way in which I was brought up.

I don't think that my daughter has an understanding of the concept of America yet.

As my gran used to say.....

"where there's livestock, there's deadstock".

I should put a globe on the Christmas list then . She'll love it.

Am not going to get involved in the vegetarianism debate, but am slightly at all those who are saying "oh my 4yo loved it, wasn't upset at all". DD1 read Charlotte's Web recently, aged 8. We read the find chapter together and wept buckets when the spider died. It's meant to be upsetting ...... in a have-a-good-cry kind of way.

Maybe 4yo is too young, because they don't get upset?!?!

I grew up watching Sesame Street, so even as a child I was familiar with american words. I loved that programme :)

So your daughter has never asked where food comes from and wouldn't understand it if you explained that America's another country?

...and you think that protein and B12 are only found in meat.

I think that it throws up more trouble than its worth at the age of 4.

Its found in feces as well.

Hypocrite.

I said early on that DS saw it aged 4. But I never said he wasn't upset by it. It got sad, his lip quivered, I pulled him onto my lap and he cried like a baby. Then we talked about it and he was happy again.

Its life.

I think that it is really for older children but I think that DCs should understand where food comes from-I certainly told mine from the very first board books that pigs=bacon, sausages and pork. I don't see it as a problem-we do the farm shop, see the pigs outside and the bacon inside.

Although I doubt that there would be much found in yours Needsaholiday

I'm finding it quite hard to imagine how you have protected a 4 year old from death. What do you tell her when you see dead things?- birds, insects, etc that they see lying around. Does she think they will all wake up? Many many films and stories feature death, have you never read 3 Little Pigs, Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Jack and Beanstalk, Bambi, Hansel and Gretel, etc etc. Has she never seen dead crabs and fish at the supermarket or fish stall? And as for avoiding any Americanisms- unless she isn't allowed to watch any American films or tv it would be impossible- Dora? Disney? Sesame Street? Strawberry Shortcake? My dd seems to cope fine wit the differences- she even uses words like garbage quite successfully (much to my dismay).

"Yes I know they speak English in America, but there is a great deal of difference in the way they use it and at the moment, she is trying to learn English. I think it is confusing to drop in Americanisms such as " You gotta come see this"

Doesn't your DD have any exposure to American TV/DVDs, such as Barney or Barbie, etc? My Irish lassies have many Americanisms in their normal speech. But they are a little older.

Regarding whether it suitable reading or not - the answer is that it is for some kids and not for others, depends on the maturity of the child. IME, Children with older siblings will have had more exposure to older topics and do fine with this. Others who have been extensively read to may also be OK with it.