Am really interested in views...

[QuietTiger]

I'm married to a farmer, we raise our own meat (pigs for pork), as well as supplying to the beef industry. We kill our own animals (at a local abatoir) for our consumption. We have (what I consider) very high welfare standards and our animals all have free range (e.g. the pigs we raise live outside in properly constructed pig arcs with a large area to forrage and can exhibit natural behaviours such as wallowing in mud, etc.etc)

I've just been told by an aquaintence, that she can "no longer be my friend" because she doesn't agree with the fact that we raise and kill our own meat and "she knows where my meat comes from" (presumably she means she's seen it running about the field as a live animal). Now I respect the fact that she feels strongly as a vegetarian that eating meat is wrong, in the same way I respect the choices and arguments of vegetarians and vegans. That's fine, and I am actually quite glad she can be honest.

HOWEVER (and this is where the AIBU comes in), as a vegetarian, she is happy to be friends with meat eaters who buy their meat in supermarkets because "that is anonomous meat and she doesn't know where it comes from", so apparently that's OK, because her other (meat eating friends) are not deciding the fate of a particular animal, "it's just meat"... (if you've read this far, thanks, because it's school yard bollocks)

Apparently, the issue that she has with me, is that I can look an animal in the eyes, rear it, let it grow up and then eat and kill it, which makes me a murderer, apparently (That's a whole other issue and debate by the way the veg vs non-veg issues and I don't particularly want that to kick off here).

She does accept that the animals we rear have far better lives than the animals that are specifically reared for the supermarket industry, but she can't accept that we make the decision to play God, as she puts it. She is absolutely adamant that this is the "only reason" we can't be friends...

Now, am I missing something about the double standards here? It's not an issue for me, as I couldn't and don't give a shit about the friendship one way or the other - she is a friend of a friend, and plays no part in my life anyway (apart from occasionally meeting up with mutual friend for coffee), but I am genuinely baffled about the irony of her being friends with other meat eaters - what have I missed?

Maybe protein deficiency is affecting the friend's logic?

i still do not understand why vegetarians are quite happy murdering plants just because they are not conscious lol.

or ones who think fish aren't meat

or many other silly things

bonkers totally.

She mailed you her reasons?
How cowardly.
YANBU. Has she really thought this argument through?

She's being quite dishonest with herself about meat, IMO. It's easier to deal with supermarket meat that's 'anonymous', so by finding that more acceptable than meat with a clear provenance she's taking the easy option.

You sound like a good farmer.
She's the kind of idiot who gives vegetarians a bad name.

Wow - that is the most strange excuse to not be friends with someone. At least you know your animals are well looked after and have a good life.

You ex friend is not only BVU - she's a bit bonkers too.

I have been a vegetarian for 25 years.
I became one because I think the way animals are raised for meat is wrong not because I think eating meat is wrong.

So I would have no problem with being friends with someone who raised their livestock in an ethical and caring way.

Infact I would be very annoying and want to come round and stroke the cows.

I wouldnt go back to eating meat now, I have no wish to. BUT if all animals were cared for properly and killed humanely I doubt I would have become one in the first place.

Bahaha she is a loon.

Utterly bonkers.

Also veggie and would be far happier if all animals were cared for and raised for meat as you do, in an ethical way. She;s talking bollocks.

she actually emailed me to tell me

One wonders what she was hoping to achieve!

Oh, please email her back! Please, please, please! Along the lines of:

Dear ex-friend

I'm sorry that you're too stupid to realise that animals raised with high welfare and humanely slaughtered are a much more ethical choice than eating the meat of intensively farmed creatures. It must be a terrible burden to you. Coupled with your high handed judginess it makes you somewhat difficult to like. But gosh, you are amusing. Please feel free to send me weekly ranty emails which I can read to all of our friends. It'll liven up dinner parties.

Mwah

QuietTiger

As a vegetarian, I buy pork sausages from one of my colleagues for my husband because I know that they are humanely reared and locally slaughtered.

I think your friend is weird.

How annoying that she is prepared to be friends with people who will eat meat that costs £1.00 from iceland regardless of how it is raised because she cant see its cute little facey wacey.

But cannot bear to be friends with someone who can actually do something about the way animals are cared for in the meat industry.

Gives veggies a bad name.

Another voice saying your ex-friend is a nutjob, and you are better off without her. And as for the way Ramsey and his buddies tooks turns raising animals, bonding with them, and then killing and eating them, I have utmost respect for people who allow themselves to become attached but then still go through with what was the original point. We should have more respect for the animals, view them as living, sentient beings, and give them the best life that we possibly can, and if there's a bit of heartbreak involved, then we're less likely to take the resultant meat for granted, throw leftovers in the bin and refuse to use the cuts that we find a bit icky.

Yup, she's nuts. You are well rid.

She sounds like a fruitloop!

I'd say she was being UNethical by remaining friends with the people who buy anonymous meat which may or may not be well reared, paid for at an appropriate rate to the famers and killed in dubious circumstances.

In all though, someone's meat rearing/purchasing decisions should not be what she should base her friendships on, weirdo! (her)

As a vegetarian, with old friends (though now not living nearby) that sound pretty much the same as yourselves I can say with my hand on my heart, that your friend is living in cloud cuckoo land & is a complete & utter nutcase -- we don't eat meat, but others do & though couldn't do it myself, I've every respect for how our friends now earn their living, & often pass on their ads to other meat eating friends - lets face it, if you are going to eat meat, surely its best coming from animals tat have had a good life - you friend is nuts!!

'Dear friend, I will miss you terribly. In memory of our friendship I have named one of our sows after you. I will befriend her until I kill her.'

YANBU i prefer to know where my meat comes from and that it has had a good quality of life.... she sounds bonkers tbh:D

aha Faseeshus
:o

"You provide a great life for these animals and a humane death"

Being slaughtered in an abatoir is anything but humane.

I'm veggie , and you can add me to the ever-growing list of folk thinking that your now ex rather strange friend is defying all logic.

Your approach to eating meat is honest and practical and realistic, to me.

Although to others - pls stop knocking the vegetarians who eat fish and chicken a bad name, because they simply are not vegetarians and I'm fed up with being associated with their annoying ways (still put out after being offered fish at an acquaintance's house recently - I had said beforehand that I'm veggie - when another friend pointed out that I'm veggie, the fish-proffering host said, "Ah but these days veggies eat fish though, don't they!" )

Best statement on the thread!

It's always helpful when these kinds of loons say that they can't be your friend. It saves the trouble of trying to stop them from stalking you later on down the line. Be grateful, you've had a lucky escape

I'm veggie - I would be friends with you :) I would not want to hear about you sending them off or which cow you are having for your Sunday roast (as my Aunt & Uncle used to do - eurghh), but I'd love to come and pat the cows and play with the piglets (fond memories).

I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from making the odd comment along the lines of 'I don't know how you can do it (send them away)?' because I honestly don't know how you can - but it wouldn't be said in a nasty way.

Also - anyone who says they know a veggie that eats chicken or fish - you don't and PLEASE tell them they are NOT vegetarian and to damn well stop confusing people over what actual vegetarians do and do frigging well eat!