Am really interested in views...

[QuietTiger]

I'm married to a farmer, we raise our own meat (pigs for pork), as well as supplying to the beef industry. We kill our own animals (at a local abatoir) for our consumption. We have (what I consider) very high welfare standards and our animals all have free range (e.g. the pigs we raise live outside in properly constructed pig arcs with a large area to forrage and can exhibit natural behaviours such as wallowing in mud, etc.etc)

I've just been told by an aquaintence, that she can "no longer be my friend" because she doesn't agree with the fact that we raise and kill our own meat and "she knows where my meat comes from" (presumably she means she's seen it running about the field as a live animal). Now I respect the fact that she feels strongly as a vegetarian that eating meat is wrong, in the same way I respect the choices and arguments of vegetarians and vegans. That's fine, and I am actually quite glad she can be honest.

HOWEVER (and this is where the AIBU comes in), as a vegetarian, she is happy to be friends with meat eaters who buy their meat in supermarkets because "that is anonomous meat and she doesn't know where it comes from", so apparently that's OK, because her other (meat eating friends) are not deciding the fate of a particular animal, "it's just meat"... (if you've read this far, thanks, because it's school yard bollocks)

Apparently, the issue that she has with me, is that I can look an animal in the eyes, rear it, let it grow up and then eat and kill it, which makes me a murderer, apparently (That's a whole other issue and debate by the way the veg vs non-veg issues and I don't particularly want that to kick off here).

She does accept that the animals we rear have far better lives than the animals that are specifically reared for the supermarket industry, but she can't accept that we make the decision to play God, as she puts it. She is absolutely adamant that this is the "only reason" we can't be friends...

Now, am I missing something about the double standards here? It's not an issue for me, as I couldn't and don't give a shit about the friendship one way or the other - she is a friend of a friend, and plays no part in my life anyway (apart from occasionally meeting up with mutual friend for coffee), but I am genuinely baffled about the irony of her being friends with other meat eaters - what have I missed?

She's a pretentious moron.
Not in the normal sense of "oh david thinks x/y/z what a moron" she's an actual moron in that her position with regards to your source of meat is completely counter-intuitive to the position which she is trying to portray.
Surely for any veggie who is a veggie on animal welfare issues, yet is still willing to be friends with some meat-eaters, would choose the meat eaters who raise animals in decent conditions and can attest that any meat they consume had the best quality of life possible as oppossed to those who are hjappy to eat battery-chickens because it's cheaper but that's ok "'cause it's anonymous"

woof woof

It's always helpful when these kinds of loons say that they can't be your friend. It saves the trouble of trying to stop them from stalking you later on down the line. Be grateful, you've had a lucky escape.

You are missing NOTHING! She is a balmy.

I have a few friends who don't eat meat UNLESS they know where they come from (i.e. reared on a farm where they skip about rather than under poor circumstances) and I personally think that is the best way of eating meat (try to buy local etc. where I can). Her 'anonymous' meat concept is hilarious!

I shouldn't worry that she doesn't want to 'know' you anymore, she doesn't sound worth having as a friend.

mycats if nobody profitted from animals, what do you think would happen?

Have you ever asked her for her reasons behind her decision to be a vegetarian? You could easily catch her out when she starts talking about animal welfare.

Maybe Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall (sp?) could take her to one of those chicken farms he likes to take people to. That might wake her up a little.

YANBU. Your 'friend' is illogical.

She's a nutjob quite frankly.
I couldn't do what you do, but I'm glad people like you actually give a shit about animal welfare and raise them humanely

I'm a vegetarian and I think that's a bizarre double-standard, more sentimentality than a real ethical position. Personally I would prefer to eat meat from a farm like yours than cheap mass-produced stuff from the supermarket (though I choose not to eat either), sounds like it's better on all counts (health, ethical, taste!).

she is a mental.

I bet she eats fish...

Tell her you are happy to lose the friendship and remind her that all jelly sweets and many yummy deserts contain gelatin, usually from pigs.

but only anonymous fish. And the odd bit of chicken which apparently doesn't count to some vegetarians.

The good thing in this is that at least she is honest.

Can you imagine if she was thinking like this but you had no idea?

Ha! I know a 'veggie' like that, kat2504. Chicken and fish don't count, and she had hog roast at a wedding recently. But she's still veggie. Riiight

OP, I wouldn't give it any more thought, she's being an absolute idiothole.

I think knowing (as in having raised, nutured and so on) an animal you're going to eat is a teensy bit odd. I mean in the way Gordon Ramsey raised (and named) pigs in his garden, as family pets almost, in order to make a point.

I understand the thinking behind it, but I wonder if it might have an effect quite different from the intended one, and could actually desensitise children.

However you are farmers. This isn't some worthy little project you've taken on to educate your DCs - it's your livelihood.

I am a vegetarian.

If I were forced to eat meat I would far rather it was one of your happy piggies than something from Tescos.

In fact I am often heard to drunkenly ramble say that I would feel much better about shooting a wild rabbit with a bow and arrow, skinning it, cleaning it , cooking it and eating it, than I would about buying a packet of sausages. (Obviously I don't want to do either, but ethically and morally I think the rabbit is the better choice).

Mad woman! I'm a veggie and one of my main reasons for staying that way is that meat is so anonymous that there are very few ways I could satisfy myself that the animals had been treated in a respectful and humane way.

She seems to be a veggie because of the 'ick' factor. A very poor reason IMHO.

LOON

mycat,

What do you think of dog-walkers and pooch parlours to give those dogs a wash and brush up, horse racing and stables run for the sake of simple hacking and learning to ride, pet shops so that children can learn how to care about a living breathing animal, or how about falconry and all the associated shows, learning about wildlife and such... oh I could go on but I have to get to the shops.

Now I'm trying to work out if I'm going to see anyone who 'profits from animals' today. What will I say to them?

Advise her (politely) to have her lobotomy reversed.

Tell her she is a Stalinist, thst should set her off :O

(To paraphrase Stalin, one dead calf is a tragedy but a thousand are statistics).

i meant profiting from killing animals mrs wembley

Name a pig after her.
Send her the resultant sausages.

Friend = Barking mad

OP = Decent human being that cares about animal welfare.

A 'friend' of mine had a go at me in my own house for providing paper serviettes at the dinner!!
She lectured us for an hour about the enviroment.

She hasn't been invited again.

Oh and they (her and her dp) arrived in 2 seperate cars