Am really interested in views...

[QuietTiger]

I'm married to a farmer, we raise our own meat (pigs for pork), as well as supplying to the beef industry. We kill our own animals (at a local abatoir) for our consumption. We have (what I consider) very high welfare standards and our animals all have free range (e.g. the pigs we raise live outside in properly constructed pig arcs with a large area to forrage and can exhibit natural behaviours such as wallowing in mud, etc.etc)

I've just been told by an aquaintence, that she can "no longer be my friend" because she doesn't agree with the fact that we raise and kill our own meat and "she knows where my meat comes from" (presumably she means she's seen it running about the field as a live animal). Now I respect the fact that she feels strongly as a vegetarian that eating meat is wrong, in the same way I respect the choices and arguments of vegetarians and vegans. That's fine, and I am actually quite glad she can be honest.

HOWEVER (and this is where the AIBU comes in), as a vegetarian, she is happy to be friends with meat eaters who buy their meat in supermarkets because "that is anonomous meat and she doesn't know where it comes from", so apparently that's OK, because her other (meat eating friends) are not deciding the fate of a particular animal, "it's just meat"... (if you've read this far, thanks, because it's school yard bollocks)

Apparently, the issue that she has with me, is that I can look an animal in the eyes, rear it, let it grow up and then eat and kill it, which makes me a murderer, apparently (That's a whole other issue and debate by the way the veg vs non-veg issues and I don't particularly want that to kick off here).

She does accept that the animals we rear have far better lives than the animals that are specifically reared for the supermarket industry, but she can't accept that we make the decision to play God, as she puts it. She is absolutely adamant that this is the "only reason" we can't be friends...

Now, am I missing something about the double standards here? It's not an issue for me, as I couldn't and don't give a shit about the friendship one way or the other - she is a friend of a friend, and plays no part in my life anyway (apart from occasionally meeting up with mutual friend for coffee), but I am genuinely baffled about the irony of her being friends with other meat eaters - what have I missed?

grovel ROTFL!

You need to not be her friend, because she is a twat!
WTF is she going on about? She is condoning bad welfare practises, and doesnt want to be youre friend because you farm ethically?
Sounds like she needs a nice trip to an European pig factory, or an intensive chicken farm!

YOur friend is a loon, completely. I like knowing where my meat comes from, I like knowing how it has been raised, that is why I buy beef and veal from friends and we have reared lambs this year which will go off in a couple of months and next year we will be getting pigs.

I've actually got more respect for you than I have for those meat eaters who only eat meat that 'doesn't look like meat'.

Does she wear leather, eat non-veggie cheese? I think meat products are also found in wine, beer, etc. Is every product that she uses not tested on animals? What are her views on vivisection?

It's hard to be truly veggie - it's a real commitment. She's a hypocrite with a capital H. Tell her you're happy to end the friendship because you don't knock around with hypocrites.

so killing animals for food is horrible, but fine as long as she does not have to see it and can pretend the sausage grew on a tree or what? Loon.

Tell her you agree wholeheartedly, her views have made you see the error of your wicked wicked ways, and from now on you will only eat the meat from strangers who you have sneaked up behind and killed on the spur of the moment and without looking at them, thus making it not predetermined, you haven't had any part in their lives, and they are anonymous. If you could manage to tunnel into the nearest jail to kill the prisoners that does away with the free range aspect too and should fulfil all her criteria and she can be your friend again with a clear conscience...

can I be your friend? I love your attitide towards your animals.

Yep, she's nuts.

OP, your friend is quite clearly, bonkers.

I would be tapping you up for allsorts if you were my friend! (of course I would pay) It's got to be so much better than the supermarket tosh on offer.

Clearly she's barking. I'm a pescetarian but have no issue with people who take responsibility for their choice to eat meat and particularly those who try to ensure that their meat is ethically raised. Like tallwivglasses, I find it astonishingly odd that there are people who won't eat meat that looks like it comes from an animal.

Before being pesce/veggie, I used to eat game and have skinned/plucked/butchered many very healthy, free-range animals. (The only reason I didn't shoot them was that I'm a bad shot..). That meat was way better than any vile supermarket slurry. I became veggie because I couldn't afford to buy good quality meat and I wasn't going to eat rubbish.

mycat, so does that include all the people who work in abattoirs, as butchers, who sell meat in supermarkets, or who sell any animal products or anything containing animal products... for example, your local wine merchant?

abbatoirs and butchers yes prob people who sell or profit from animal furs too

She's a nutter... can I be your replacement friend? You sound fab. Pretty please?? :o

Thanks folks, I'm glad it's not just me who thinks she's bonkers.

Fortunately, she's a friend of a friend, so I can just get on with my life. without giving a shit What I found odd about the whole thing, was the fact she made the effort to email her reasons - we're not talking 3rd party chinese whispers, she actually emailed me to tell me. As DH said at lunchtime (as we ate leek and potato soup ), her loss.

Tiger, email her:
Dear friend, I will miss you terribly. In memory of our friendship I have named one of our sows after you. I will befriend her until I kill her.

She is a loon, avoid her at all costs,
I would rather eat meat raised the way you raise your animals then most of the stuff in the supermarkets that has been tortured intensely reared

She's an utter idiot. I only buy direct from farmers who I know are concerned with their animals welfare, and do as you do.

I think she's being totally illogical.

If she cannot be friends with carnivores (which I would think a bit odd personally, but a perfectly reasonable stance), then it should apply to all meat eaters - and indeed anyone who uses products from slaughtered creatures.

To demonstrate a preference for the less humane system, by ostracising you, does not seem to have a basis in any ethical system I've come across.

After years of being a vegetarian I actually started eating meat after working on a small holding, I had the exact opposite veiw of your friend! I'd never eat annonymous meat! It was much nicer knowing all had been done correctly.

Your "friend" is a dick

Not a friend worth worrying about! YANBU (where's your farm? I'd love to buy meat from a suppiler like you all the time)

She is bonkers.

BTW, I wonder what she would do with the whole skinned rabbit (complete with eyes for her to look into!) that I recently saw in a French supermarket. I suspect that would confuse her!

Tiredprobably I am another "reformed vegetarian" that would prefer to eat non-anonymous meat. As a Londoner, that is not really possible but I do only buy meat that is free range or claims to have been raised according to reasonable welfare standards. A friend of a friend has a small holding and I would happily eat her meat.

she sounds like an idiot who embraces principles without thinking them through. And furthermore I would put money on her only being a vegetarian because she thinks it impresses people.

YANBU your mate is deranged. Her logic is flawed and tbh she sounds like a thick and misinformed twat.