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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone living where they grew up?

74 replies

toptramp · 24/09/2011 22:24

And wondering if the grass is greener? I grew up in a small town which is lovely but I moved away to cities to do uni and also travelled abroad. I wanted to stay in my uni city as I loved the social life but when I got pregnant I moved back home to be near my parents.

It IS lovely here and perfect for bringoing up kids plus I am near dad (mum has sadly since left us) but AIBU for feeling a little bit bored and mabe a bit of a failure that I couldn't make a life for myself elsewhere? I know I am being unreasonable but small towns can be such a bubble. I won't move probably but I wonder if I will end up here as an old lady regretting the fact that I didn't spread my wings.

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 24/09/2011 22:26

God no. Small town in Lake District, didn't see me for dust and I only rarely go back to see parents.

I don't think I know anyone who lives now where they were brought up, it must be extremely unusual.

fivegomadindorset · 24/09/2011 22:26

Yes, but then it really is lovely.

Signet2012 · 24/09/2011 22:27

I live in the same town. The estate next to where I was bought up as a child, in the estate I wasnt allowed on when I was a child !!

Would love to move ASAP but dont think it will happen as most places round here are a bit shite, including where I am but better the devil you know....

fivegomadindorset · 24/09/2011 22:28

Actually a fair amount of people, probably the majority, have grown up here.

fivegomadindorset · 24/09/2011 22:28

Of who I know

BelleDameSansMerci · 24/09/2011 22:28

Not bloody likely Grin

Although, being more serious, I've lived all over the UK; travelled the world; lived in Dublin for a bit and now live about 150 miles from "home" but since having DD (now 4) I've seriously considered moving back. There's a lot to be said for "home" when you have a child, I think...

MsWetherwax · 24/09/2011 22:29

I would love to be able to move back to my home town, but met and fell in love with dp who is from a different county. I've travelled, and lived all over England, and I think personally think there is no place like home.

workshy · 24/09/2011 22:29

I moved away but I would say a good 50% of the people I went to high school with still live within 5 miles of the school

rogersmellyonthetelly · 24/09/2011 22:30

Me. I love my home town, it's where I belong, I don't feel right anywhere else. All my family are within 10 miles, just how I like it.

SingingSands · 24/09/2011 22:30

No, thank God. I couldn't afford a shed there, never mind a house!

AgentZigzag · 24/09/2011 22:30

I moved away from where I grew up for about 15 years, and we moved back to an area nearby about 10 years ago.

I like the familiarity of it, when people ask me where I'm from they know where I mean (and usually know the same people).

You can get used to other places of course, but it's where your home is in your head that matters.

Booandpops · 24/09/2011 22:31

Yes. I live six miles from my parents and dh parents are 16 miles away
We toted with the idea of moving south west but when dd arrived I was managing my own business and needed support of gps I couldn't do it with out them. Also we felt cruel if we took the grandkids away A's they are very involved
We are lucky though to live in a lovely communal village but close to several big towns for shops and night out etc

I'm very happy we stayed put.

nickschick · 24/09/2011 22:31

yes Ive moved away but always end up back here the positives are that I often see people I know that I grew up with the downside is ......its a shithole.

TrillianAstra · 24/09/2011 22:31

AIBU for feeling a little bit bored and mabe a bit of a failure that I couldn't make a life for myself elsewhere?

There's nothing to say that you will be an old lady there, if you don't like it you can still move.

For me being close to my parents would not outweigh the (as I see it) disadvantages of living where I grew up, but for you maybe this is the best choice.

TheArmadillo · 24/09/2011 22:31

yep me and dh do plus most of our friends went to school with us and still live in the same city. I reckon half my colleagues grew up in the local area.

Talking about town, not street.

It is a big city though and we have lived in different areas of it. I have no desire to move. We are happy, surrounded by friends and family.

Dh's family have been in the area a long time (surname is reasonably local one). I wasn't born here but moved here when young. Went to local university.

FabbyChic · 24/09/2011 22:31

Im glad Im not living where I grew up, the crime rate their has soared!

southeastastra · 24/09/2011 22:33

i do, i moved away to the big city for 15 years then moved back

it was and is nice to be closer to my family again as that is all that matters

messybessie · 24/09/2011 22:36

I left at 18 and moved to London. Moved back to my hometown at 35.

My kids and DH love it, and I do really, but deep down do feel a failure. I didn't come back to an elephant parade or bunting, I didn't return with my fortune and my house is considerably smaller than my parent.

But lots of people here have done the same thing.

I take heart from the notion that it wasn't a bad place to raise children - but was shit enough to really want to leave as a teenager. Grin

If it wasn't my home town, I'd be really happy with my life. But maybe it's just my pride talking and I need to get over it.

I did have counselling (about something else) and we talked about it. My counsellor said it was important to remember that you don't come back to where you left off. You don't return to the same life that you left, because you have all the experience you had when living somewhere else - and that has made you a different person than the one you would have been if you had never left.

I think Blush

40notTrendy · 24/09/2011 22:36

I do. But it's a big city. So not the same really. Would go back to my university city if money or circumstances allowed.

carpwidow · 24/09/2011 22:37

I'm living in the house where my grandparents lived and my dad was born in my bedroom. I think it's nice that it's a family home that has been passed on. As for feeling a bit of a failure that I couldn't make a life for myself elsewhere? Hell no. I really enjoy my life - have some fantastic friends, a good career, get to see a lot of the world. Life is not about where you are geographically, but where you are in your head.

pinkmagic1 · 24/09/2011 22:40

Yes, infact I can see the garden of the house I grew up in from my DS's bedroom! My children also attend the same primary school as I did. I have lived in other areas of the city but me and DH decided to move to the area we live in now when we decided to start a family as it is nice without being ridiculously overpriced and there are a few decent schools in the vicinity. I do think I am in the minority though and sometimes part of me would like to move away somewhere totally new.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/09/2011 22:41

No, but i wish I were. I lived in Folkestone and I daren't go back now as it will have changed beyond everything I can remember as familiar and that would be too painful. If I'd never left, I would have evolved with my surroundings. :(

hiccymapops · 24/09/2011 22:43

I do. I'm surprised at myself too. I moved here (very small village in Yorkshire) from London when I was 14. Always hated it, and thought it was strange that everyone here seemed to have grown up here and never moved on. Everyone seemed to know each others business.

After college I moved away, and worked all over. I moved back 8 years ago with dh, we bought the house from my dad, with the intentions of selling and moving on. But now we have dc's, we've decided to stay. I love the fact it's nice and quiet here, and people are friendly, and will actually look out for our children. They'll get away with nothing around here Grin. Can't believe how I've changed Grin.

PumpkinBones · 24/09/2011 22:45

I've never lived anywhere else, but I live in a fairly big city so probably not quite the same. Not many people that I grew up with have moved away. I don't plan to leave, unless it is to Seattle, where I have longed to live for years Grin

emsyj · 24/09/2011 22:46

I moved away for uni for 4 years, then moved home. Then met now-DH and moved in with him about 6 miles away. Then got bored and moved to London. After 2.5 years was fed up of my job and didn't want to live in London with another job paying less money as it didn't look much fun. So moved back to area we'd lived in before (about 6 miles away from each set of parents) and it's really handy having willing babysitters nearby.

We do get bored from time to time though and wonder if we should have stayed in London/moved somewhere totally different. It is nice here though. The property prices aren't silly, we both have decent jobs, you can see the sea from our house and there are excellent schools here. Plus our friends and family are all close. Seems silly to move, although do sometimes wonder if it would be nicer to live in London again with the buzz, or in a really pretty town, or near a proper beach that you could swim at or whatever... Ho hum.

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