Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone living where they grew up?

74 replies

toptramp · 24/09/2011 22:24

And wondering if the grass is greener? I grew up in a small town which is lovely but I moved away to cities to do uni and also travelled abroad. I wanted to stay in my uni city as I loved the social life but when I got pregnant I moved back home to be near my parents.

It IS lovely here and perfect for bringoing up kids plus I am near dad (mum has sadly since left us) but AIBU for feeling a little bit bored and mabe a bit of a failure that I couldn't make a life for myself elsewhere? I know I am being unreasonable but small towns can be such a bubble. I won't move probably but I wonder if I will end up here as an old lady regretting the fact that I didn't spread my wings.

OP posts:
Original poster
toptramp · 24/09/2011 22:47

I do LOVE my home town. It reallly is georgeous but I do get restless. Once the bubble is burst..... I guess I just miss my freedom to roam. I was bored here as a teen but as I never go out now anyway I have embraced my community once more.

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 24/09/2011 22:47

I was thinking today how we have grown into the town we live in now. We have lived here for five years. I dont think the DCs will settle here. Before this we lived abroad for five years. Before that we lived in a different town for 10 years. Before that we lived in another town for a couple of years.....

Actually thinking about it, I havent grown up in one place. My DCs havent grown up in one place.

I think we are all looking for something (I blame DHs Gypsy blood!)

BakeliteBelle · 24/09/2011 22:48

I grew up in a village and most people moved away....but I've settled somewhere that reminds me of the place I loved visiting as a child. Near to the bright lights not to be criminally boring like my village, and yet in 10 minutes, I can be in the countryside. Perfection

Squitten · 24/09/2011 22:51

I was born and raised in central London, DH was born and raised in west London and now we live in south London! I've never lived outside the city. We took the chance to buy here while we had the funds and all our family is here, which is nice for the DCs. We hope to live somewhere else in the future - one day!

PeneloPeePitstop · 24/09/2011 22:55

I'm about 12 miles away.
Couldn't live where I grew up, I'd die of boredom!
(back of beyond)

BeatRoute · 24/09/2011 22:56

I live about 800 yards from the house where I grew up... I have briefly lived in another part of the city and in another city all together (although only an hour away). Can't find anywhere I'd rather live, so I guess I was lucky that I was born here!

notlettingthefearshow · 24/09/2011 23:05

I couldn't go back for good after my travelling and living elsewhere in the UK. It's a respectable small town and objectively a good place for families, but I found it bland and boring and would not go back.

I also don't like bumping into lots of old faces (believe me, there are plenty!) as I feel like my life began when I left to go to uni, and I know being back makes me feel like I never left.

But that's just me - totally depends on your experience and what your hometown has to offer! I would say it's very important to make new friends and find new places, rather than old friends and old haunts. That is guaranteed to make you feel you're not progressed.

Ifancyashandy · 24/09/2011 23:18

Yes. I live I the town I grew up in. I moved away for work for 12 years (London & another city) but home town only 15 mins from centre of London (by train) so doesn't feel the same. Moved back to home town after leaving London for the 'other city'. Rationale was that I'd lived alone I 'the other city' for 3 years but couldn't afford to do that in London but could in home town, where I still had / have lots of old mateys. And being 15 mins from London means the best of both worlds - London social life & suburban town down time.

Having said that, I'm getting massively itchy feet and am thinking about looking for overseas work opportunities!

Am an 'All or Nothing' type!

penguin73 · 25/09/2011 00:07

I left at 18 and moved back a few years ago and now work at my old school for the teacher I used to have a massive crush on. Your comments echoed the thoughts I've been having for the last year or so - although in some ways I love it I am desperate to explore other possibilities too and think I will once DS no longer needs the stability that being here and settled provides.

Daisy1986 · 25/09/2011 00:32

Sort of depending on which town you mean. We left London when I was 10 to move to a seaside town on the East Coast. 15 years later, uni in Derbyshire some world travel, a baby and now I live 11 doors away from my parents lol.

I love it, living near the sea is wonderful, living near my parents is very handy being a single parent. Close enough rail links to be in London in 2 hours if I wished or 45 minute bus ride to Norwich which in my mind is a really nice city much smaller and easier to get around Birmingham, Manchester etc

Ive lived in metropolitan citys, rural towns and near the sea and I know where Im happiest. Although if I got offered a one way pass to australia or NZ I'd take it in a heart beat lol

frutilla · 25/09/2011 00:35

Living 10,000 km away but wish I was back home! Grew up in London though, so never boring.

TheFeministsWife · 25/09/2011 00:38

I live 2 miles from where I grew up. My dds go to school in the area I grew up in because well it's much better area than where we live atm. But then I live in a big city, I never left it just moved around it. Also never went to uni so...

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 25/09/2011 00:40

Yes, but I spent a LONG time overseas first

lilyliz · 25/09/2011 00:48

I was born at home here schooled here and always worked in my area,I wouldn't want to change it as Iam very happy here and last year this lack of moving around actually did me a favour.I had never had to claim benefit before and when I did I was told it was a bogus claim,turned out an asylum seeker had pinched my nat ins number and had been claiming tax credits,I had to go for an interview at government offices in Glasgow and take lots of proof of identity,employment history etc and the thing that swung it was that I had never moved around the country so my lack of wanderlust did me a favour.

HengshanRoad · 25/09/2011 03:50

I can't think of anything worse. It's a lovely town (market town in northwest of England) and my parents still live in the suburbs, but it's a small-minded place where very little happens. I have always preferred cities - the bigger the better. I've lived in Shanghai for three years now.

EttiKetti · 25/09/2011 06:45

Yup, I've lived all over England, but wanted to move my family back here when.we had children. Best thing we did, its quiet, but a lovely place to raise a family. One of my parents lives in Central London now though, so regular free trips there are helpful, I have to admit! I still have friends in my home town that have never been to another place in the UK unless it was to a shopping mall or airport Shock

2cats2many · 25/09/2011 06:47

I don't, but we live less than half a mile away from my husband's family home

acumenin · 25/09/2011 07:25

I've never moved off the same page of the A-Z. I'd like to move out of the city but it's not possible for us. But in general I'm not a wanderer.

It's quite a big page! Four postcodes!

BastardDog · 25/09/2011 07:53

I live a mile away from the house where I grew up. All my family live within 10 miles.

I moved away when I was 21, lived in London for a few years, then lived in Oxfordshire until I was 43 and moved back to where I am now - home.

I really feel like I belong here, it's hard to explain the feeling it gives me, but it's good.

I've bumped into many old friends who have stayed within our home town and never lived anywhere else. They all feel very differently; trapped, bored, claustrophobic and most of them seem to hate the place.

PrettyCandles · 25/09/2011 08:00

Apart from a year away here and there, I lived within 10minutes walk of the house where I grew up (and where my parents still live) until I was 40 and had two dc.

Then I moved to a small town 30miles away.

Here, at least 6 of my friends or their OHs have either returned or always lived in this area, some within a street or two of where they grew up or where their parents live, or the next village along. None of them regret doing this. They all love the closeness their dc have to their families, the proximity to childcare, the nice environment for their dc to grow up in, and the sense of continuity.

I, OTOH, miss being so near my family, and miss London.

Squitch · 25/09/2011 08:15

I still live in the same house (and it's not some ancestral mansion, just a 30's semi)

Love my home town - shitty though it is - and would never want to move. I get quite emotional about the fact that at some point in the near future I'll have to move out of the house I grew up in let alone move away from here

KittyFane · 25/09/2011 08:20

I moved away and stayed away, my friend's and DH are here, my DC go to school here. I have both the city and the countryside close by but my home town and my family are 3 hours away.
I would move back tomorrow and wish I could.

KittyFane · 25/09/2011 08:20

Friends

kittencuddles · 25/09/2011 08:25

I do and I love it. It's a good area, lots of my friends are here, why would I want to move?

greencolorpack · 25/09/2011 08:38

I'm in the town I lived as an infant after living away in a big city for half my life.

I love living in a small town now. The difference is my friends. They are all the ones who stayed in the same area, stayed in same town for uni, lived with mum and dad while they studied. I find they have a small town parochial attitude and are very averse to taking risks and they think I'm weird for having moved away. Also I find some racist attitudes round here, amazing, it's like its still the sixties and people think they can say what they like about black or asian people, and I find it very offensive after living in a multicultural city.