to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

I did not mean every match etc.

Sorry did not know you were a teacher. So do you miss everything then?

Another teacher here. Yeap. We miss everything. We miss our children growing up entirely. Well of course we do- I mean they're being raised by Piaf strangers aren't they?

Must be a bloody miracle that my teenagers are very close to dh and me, are confident and sociable and doing very well academically too

Ummm, yes..... Just like the teachers teaching our DC miss out with their DC.
BUT....My DD doesn't need me around all the time when she is at school. Sports day is an exception - I would like to go to that.

Paid strangers - bloody iPhone!

My DH does more than me when it comes to dropping off/ picking up/ helping out at school...the illusion that some women have that they are 'irreplaceable' is an illusion. (Sorry) DC are happy as long as someone who cares for them is... caring for and caring about them!

On this

"So, working mothers, do you genuinely think, when you are introduced to a woman who initially appears to be quite articulate and decent company, but she replies to the inevitable "And what do you do?" with "Er, at the moment I'm staying at home looking after the children..." that this woman is brain-dead, boring and not worth conversing with? Just wondered."

Depends what they talk about. I remember one dinner and they were talking about brands of sun cream. It's just your worlds are very different so there is less to talk about. Things that might have huge import if your life is washing like washing powder types (and yes they've talked about those too) are not the same if you don't often use the washing machine and are a surgeon savings lives or a barrister winning cases and whatever. That doesn't mean some of them may not sometimes have something interesting to talk abouit but on average it's the ones who never earned much and aren't very well educated who gave up work. There are not many on £200k a year who give it up to stay at home. I am just talking about on average.

On the other issues of stats that children do better if mothers work... as someone said for me above income of famly has a massive impact on child outcomes. If the family can survive on father's income of say £25k but instead the mother works so they can fund 2 sets of school fees or so they move themselves into the £125k bracket I think on average the family does benefit an awful lot and if they have good childcare (just as if you are at home it will only be any good if you're a good mother and housewives if in general they have lower IQs etc are bound to have less knowledge of child psychology and be worse at dealing with children's issues0 - even their vocabulary, spelling, ideas and swear words in thread titles bears testatment to that) then on the whole you're better off mother working.

Godalmighty, I'd pay to miss sports day. I spent enough years trying to dodge my own. The looming prospect of my children's sports days always makes me feel as if I'm in one of those nightmares where you're retaking your O levels (I'm that old). Worse. I did very well in my O levels.

You would pay to miss sports day?

Why did some people bother to have children?

Most of the events last year in DD's school I missed due to work, and I didn't dare ask for the time off to attend these events(DD yr at the time) I felt guilty, but at the same time there was nothing I could have done about it.
One of the mums, not in a bad way on several occasions asked me if I would be coming, and every time I had to explain to her why I couldn't, work, difficult boss etc.
Fast forward year 1, I see the same mum, but not as relaxed as before, she is in full time employment since June(their circumstances changed also) she had to start work, she actually said to me the other day: 'Now I understand, juggling it all, being there for DC's all the time it's just not going to work, something has to give, and it's all about priorities."
Most of us have been on both side of the fence, there is no right or wrong, you got to do, what you got to do, and that is all there is to it.
As long as we don't bust each others balls in the process, and blame the blame, you can be in one situation today, and it can get very different tomorrow.
My prerogative is: Be ready for anything, and don't let it faze you

Late to this but may I just say..

Ha ha ha ha! Haaa ha ha!

If you were making a tally of WOHM and SAHM dissing, I suspect it would come out about even.

Let it go please.

The missing thing is interesting.

1. I didn't like expressing my breastmilk particularly. I breastfed at 8am and then at 6.30 and rushed home and expressed inthe day. I had babies who fed every 3 hours every night until they were 1 so there was a lot of night contact etc. SO that was something I would have preferred not to have but if the choice were spoil the career and not express and earn very little or earn what I now do in my 40s and have a lovely career with 30 more years to go of it that was a small price to pay. By the time I had the twins I was working for myself and could have the nanny bring them in to feed./

2, I am absolutely delighted to have missed hour after hour of dull domestic work. When ours were a baby, 1 and 3 years old it was pretty hard minding that lot all at once for long periods even though the youngest was in school time at 3 hours nursery a day by then. I felt I had just enough contact with them as I made sure I left work on time because I like being with them. If that damaged my career so be it.

1. I have been to most school events because of the nature of my work I tend to be able to fix things. I am not at the bottom of the food chain with no power or control.

1. If I can't they accept it and I find someone else to go. I am now in year 27 as a mother and still enjoying going to some school events.

1. I am absolutely delighted to have missed 24 years of school runs. Wow lucky me not to have endured those.

Is that another one of your ahem 'jokes'?

FWIW I don't enjoy that kind of thing. I didn't enjoy that kind of thing at school and oddly enough begetting my own offspring has not engendered enjoyment in me now. Quite a lot of people didn't enjoy sports day at school either. It has not, I find, hampered my ability either to be a reasonably active adult (I swim a mile three times in most weeks), function well as a member of wider society or acquire a couple of degrees.

You would pay to miss sports day?
Why did some people bother to have children?

O dear lord...

I do, on the other hand, enjoy school drop-off and pick-up.

Oh, and also I do think that the money I earn pays the taxes which make my children's education possible. It's not all about volunteering in school, you know.

Would you apply that to men though? Plenty don't come to sports day. I have been at most sports days. I have not been to every sports match as my children are very sporty and there isn't time and it's a bit boring. Iv'e never missed a c oncert as I'm very musical. I think most parents try to be involved but there is no one right road - that you have slavishly to be at 100% of child things. I would imagine most of us would make sure a parent was at a parents' evening at school to talk about academic progress for example.

I took 3 newspapers to sports day and a rug this year and had a happy 2 hours reading the papers. I was there. I watched their one race or two races and took some photos. Everyone was happy. We all make our own compromises.

hmmmmmmmmm i am not going to be a SAHM, but even if I was, I would still put my DCs in nursery as from what I have seen it is brilliant for socialisation etc and far better than just having them at home.

I dodged sports days even when I could make them. THey make me want to light a fag behind the bike sheds. Even though I don't smoke.

strictlovingmum similar thing here.. A big PTA player at DD's school started FT work recently when her DH left her... Her years of being openly disapproving towards working mothers came back to haunt her.

"bottom of the food chain"

This is how you refer to other women?

As someone above said.....................

Can we let this thread die..

WOHM.......10

SAHM.........10

DRAW.

THESE THREADS ARE STUPID, CHILDISH AND RETROGRESSIVE

SO NER