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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry about 14 year old DD travelling into London alone

28 replies

WhoopsieDaisie · 23/09/2011 12:18

Well not alone, with a friend but without adults.

We live just outside zone 6, so I will drop her off at the tube and she will get the tube into East London. She wants to go a book signing by a pop group and I can't go as DH will be at work and I have 2 other littler DCs.

She has never been on a tube on her own before and I am worried about something happening in London and me being far away (about 40 mins on tube, plus 15 mins car ride to get to tube).

She is desperate to go. AIBU or silly? Am tempted to tell her no but she wants autographs and this may be her one chance.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 23/09/2011 12:19

YABU she's 14!!

Make sure her mobile is charged and stop worrying.

BluddyMoFo · 23/09/2011 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrandedBear · 23/09/2011 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MackerelOfFact · 23/09/2011 12:24

YABU. She'll be completely fine. You can't really go wrong with the tube, everything is signposted and there aren't even any timetables to contend with.

The chances of 'something happening' in London where your daughter happens to be is infentisimally small, and in the incredibly unlikely event that 'something' did happen, it would be unlikely that it would be rectified by you driving there. Grin

Just make sure she's got a tube map in case there are delays and needs to detour.

limitedperiodonly · 23/09/2011 12:25

She'll be fine. At her age I used to take the tube from the Essex end of the Central Line to Hammersmith to see bands. I travelled alone for a few stops and met up with a friend or two along the way in the early evening. Then we returned after 10.30pm-11ish.

I was alone for the final few stops of the journey but my dad would always be waiting at the station for me.

Pre-mobiles as well. My parents must have been worried but they thought it was right because I was sensible. Hope she enjoys herself.

brainwashed · 23/09/2011 12:25

I regularly travelled on the tube alone from age 11. Ok this was 30 years ago and the tube may not feel as safe as it did then, but it was also pre mobile phones.
She'll be fine

eurochick · 23/09/2011 12:27

I used to sneak into London from home in zone 6 at a younger age than that and I was fine! Let her go.

betterwhenthesunshines · 23/09/2011 12:29

When is she going? can you do a practice run with her first?

Springyknickersohnovicars · 23/09/2011 12:33

I went from around 20 miles away into London as a child on the tube. It was reeeeeeeeeallllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy exciting.

Stop worrying, I don't think you'll get much of a signal on the underground (not sure though) so get her to call you when she gets there.

seeker · 23/09/2011 12:41

The important thing to tell her- I repeat this to my dd every time she goes into London - she goes quite often but she's nervous of the tube -that if she goes wrong, not to panic, all you have to do is get off and go back the way you came! She finds this thought vey reassuring.

brodanbell · 23/09/2011 12:51

Learning to find your way around on the tube is an adventure, but an important thing to know. It will teach her real independence and at 14, her and her friend are old enough to figure it out by themselves. I think I was about 12 when I started using it on my own (but with friends), and admittedly it was only very local journey's to begin with, but by 14 I'm pretty sure I was heading into the centre. Don't panic and let her go.

worraliberty · 23/09/2011 12:53

It's so much easier nowdays, I mean she can even check the trains online before she goes...for delays etc.

Not to mention having a mobile phone.

I can't think of a single reason why you shouldn't let her go?

limitedperiodonly · 23/09/2011 12:58

I forgot to say I used to take the tube to school from 11 so I was used to it.

Like others have said, if she's not used to it just give her a map and some tips for what to do if she needs to change lines.

crystalglasses · 23/09/2011 13:03

She's with a friend so don't worry. If they'll get on the wrong tube (it happens often), they should ask someone - most people are very helpful. If all else fails they just need to go to the exit of whichever station they're at and ask the railway clerk at the ticket barrier.
It really isn't a big deal.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 23/09/2011 13:10

She'll be fine. my 12yo niece is going to the same event (I'm guessing). I used to travel up from Kent to see bands in the evening at that age. the tube is soooo easy - i never understand why people think it's complicated.

microfight · 23/09/2011 13:45

she's 14! Of course YABU

Original poster
WhoopsieDaisie · 23/09/2011 14:10

OK, I knew I was BU! You have all reiterated that for me. Thanks.

It is tomorrow so no practice run. I will have to get over myself.

OP posts:
deliakate · 23/09/2011 14:12

My parents put really strict restrictions on me about that age - eg. could not go to a New Kids on the Block Concert in Birmingham with the youth group (Thank GOD now!) - but as soon as I could, I rebelled and would stay out all night and not tell them a thing.

A bit of freedom will engender responsibility, imo.

Andrewofgg · 23/09/2011 15:49

You're going to worry first time whatever the age, and she's old enough. Get on with it and get over it!

Atropos · 23/09/2011 16:08

Are you still going to be holding her hand when she crosses the road at 30? It's London ? not Sodom and Gomorra. Are you her mother or her keeper? My DD flew to France on her own from the age of 7 and emigrated to New Zealand at the age of 17.

5Foot5 · 23/09/2011 16:58

Eek!! I suppose if you live near London then it is reasonable for kids that age to manage.

Speaking as a northener I didn't go to London alone until I was 17. My parents were a bit worried I know, and I remember my Dad's advice was that if I got lost or needed help I should ask someone in a uniform. It didn't matter what the uniform was apparently, any uniform would do!

GetOrfMo1Land · 23/09/2011 17:01

No, she will be fine. DD is 15 and has been going into London (on the megabus or train from Gloucester, and then with a travelcard all over London) since she was 14. She has always been fine and has felt proud that she was trusted to be mature enough to get round London on her own.

She has got a TFL link on her phone which show tube and bus routes etc.

The tube map is very easy to work out. and like seeker says if you get on the wrong train, just get off at the next station and have a rethink.

GetOrfMo1Land · 23/09/2011 17:03

Also there are always tube staff members on the ticket barriers, if she is unsure tell her to ask them where to go.

Blu · 23/09/2011 17:05

It will be a brillliant thing for her to do and 14 year olds can easily manage this.

Just make sure she knows what tube lines she needs to get - get her to look up the tube route on the tfl journey planner, and jot down what lines she needs - and to take care whether she is going northbound / s'bound, east or westbound.

Also that if they get the wrong line or direction, it doesn't mattter, just do as Seeker says. And believe it or not many Londoners are actually helpful and friendly and will re-assure other passengers about which train to get etc.

London is just a town.

BoringSchoolChoiceNickname · 23/09/2011 17:18

YANBU to worry, because you're her mum, and it's what mums do. At a similar age I remember my first solo trip to Hammersmith on the bus to go shopping. DF got home in the evening and asked "What did you lot do today?" to which DB replied "Boring went to Hammersmith on the bus and Mummy paced up and down and worried". I'd done lots of more adventurous stuff before, I'd travelled intercontinentally as an unaccompanied minor a bunch of times and heaven knows what else, but this was my first time going on the bus to Hammersmith, therefore my DM worried.
But she'll be fine, of course she will.