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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect 'D'P to offer me a lift?

72 replies

AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:07

Going out to mates wedding.
Public transport is shite and expensive. I could get a bus home at either 9.15 or 11. it would take over an hour to do a 20 minute journey and cost best part of £10.

bus station is in a shite area of town. I would be alone.

'D'H helpfully pointed out that at least I could get a return ticket to which I may have raised my voice a touch and pointed out that I thought it a bit mean of him to not even offer to give me a lift there - let alone home again.

I have frequently offered to pick up a drunken 'D'H to save on untrustworthy buses or expensive taxis.

I am inscensed that he hasn't even offered to come and pick me up. I am flabbergasted that he hasn't offered to drop me off.

AIU to expect the offer of a lift? or is he U to not?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 22/09/2011 21:08

Is he looking after children while you are out?

Fairyloo · 22/09/2011 21:09

Have you asked for lift? He might think you want to get public transport for some reason. My experience of men is you have to be direct Wink

workshy · 22/09/2011 21:09

have you asked him?

men don't think

squeakytoy · 22/09/2011 21:10

Maybe he (like I would do) is planning an evening of watching what he wants on the telly, with a couple of drinks himself, and doesnt want to be a chauffeur for you. :)

redexpat · 22/09/2011 21:11

YANBU.

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:14

children are big enough to be left.
Squeeky - yes, that is what he is planning but lets face it he does that every saturday evening regardless of whether i'm there or not. when transport has been difficult i have forgone the luxury of a couple of glasses in order to pick him up.

I am severely pissed off that he didn't even offer and when i suggested it might have been nice got all defensive and cross about it. he is a git.

OP posts:
SuchProspects · 22/09/2011 21:15

Have you asked him? If you have and he's refused YANBU but you know what to do next time he goes out without you...

And why isn't your DH going to the wedding with you?

SuchProspects · 22/09/2011 21:16

x-post

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:18

wedding is for a work colleague - small do - he doesn't know them.

he helpfully googled the bus time for me knowing exactly what the bus station is like and knowing i would be alone, slightly pissed, in the middle of the night, without even thinking it would be a nice idea to offer to pick me up. why? why would he not see that?

OP posts:
clam · 22/09/2011 21:19

My DH (and my dear old dad before him) would never in a million years expect me to make my own way home in the circumstances you describe. Or get there alone either.

What sort of man is he?

AuntiePickleBottom · 22/09/2011 21:20

the next time he wants to go out, i hope you get a bottle of wine your self.

would a b&b for the night be an option

squeakytoy · 22/09/2011 21:21

I wouldnt sweat it to be honest. If I go out without husband, I get a cab home. Much easier than arranging a time for him to pick me up, then wishing I had arranged it for later, or for earlier...

If there is anyone else going who lives nearer could you not crash at theirs for the night?

clam · 22/09/2011 21:22

And in the interests of balance, I'll point out that I would of course do the same for him.
And will be tonight, as it happens, picking him up from the station at midnight. Even though ordinarily I'd be in bed asleep. It's not that far to walk, but he's had a long day and his knee is playing up a bit so it's a small thing to do. If you care about someone, that is.

zukiecat · 22/09/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nocake · 22/09/2011 21:24

Really? He's expecting you to get a bus home when he could pick you up? I always offer to pick DW if she's out.

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:25

Cab would cos a squillion £££ as would a B&B and i am very very poor until i get paid next week.

I am bloody pissed off that it hasn't occured to him and i would be expected to ask him to pick me up. ASK him????? Angry twat. git. nob.

OP posts:
clam · 22/09/2011 21:27

So he's happy for you to hang around a dodgy bus station late at night on your own?

Nice.

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:28

in fact fuckhim. i will not ask him to collect me. either he offers or i drive and won't drink (which would be a shame as said wedding promises to be a good ol knees up)

OP posts:
Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:30

and i will be having it out tomorrow when i will question him being happy for me to get dodgy bus alone and not offering a lift. gitgitgit. i am not happy.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/09/2011 21:32

Why not just ask him to pay for the cab? Or pay for it yourself...

Grin
Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:34

i'm too poor to pay for a cab (as is probably he) and i simply refuse to ask him.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/09/2011 21:35

Is there nobody nearer to the venue whose sofa you can borrow for the night?

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:39

could do but i am an antisocial bugger who snores like a horse and THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT!

OP posts:
Original poster
AtYourCervix · 22/09/2011 21:40

I mean - there are options but the normal, reasonable, nice thing to do would be to offer to drop me off and pick me up.

OP posts:
schroeder · 22/09/2011 21:46

Cor no way would I expect dh to come and pick me up if I was out on a jolly, I might like it, I might appreciate it, but I would not expect it at all.

He's not my Dad Hmm

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