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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to write a letter of complaint

138 replies

GingerLa · 20/09/2011 19:38

Im not one for complaining, never have been and to be honest am not even sure If complains are taken seriously at big companies so really is there much point?

Got the bus this morning to meet my sister and take our 2 lo's to playgroup anyway Im sure those of us who use public transport know how difficult it can be travelling by bus with a lo.

The bus driver had been particularly grumpy and rude up to this point but some are so I didnt take much notice until he turned n shouted 'Oi, put your push chair down' I didnt reply immediately as I didnt expect him to speak to me like that. Id already moved into the aisle with my 'quite small' pushchair and was talking with the lady who had been sat near me as we had moved to make room for the wheel chair to manouver in and there was still room for my pushchair.... He shouted again and said will you fold your pushchair down.. my immediate reaction was no, (not out of being selfish or awkward but there were no seats I wouldnt be able to hold my pushchair, toddler ds who was already fed up, bags, coats etc on a bus that had no seats and with a driver who had been going quite fast, n we were still far from where I needed to b)

Anyway with that e looked at me in disgust and turned to the person in the wheelchair n ppl with her and said sorry, I cant let you on, she (nodding at me) wont even put her pushchair down for you to get on!!! he repeated that to the others waiting alongside the person in the wheelchair when they protested. I was still baffeled, as were ppl around me so the next I knew one of the women who had been waiting had got on the bus and walked up to me (still stood in the aisle) and said.. well move then, what am i meant to do with you stood there.. move now!! clearly influenced by the way the driver had spoken about me.....

Now I moved back where I had been and the bus driver drove on an continued being an idiot but he made me feel horrible and even worse made me look this way infront of my ds who understood everything.. I know this may be small fish for some but I do all I can to help ppl n would never ever be so insensitive! Others on the bus were shocked by the drivers actions and the annoying fact is Ive been on buses with a wheelchair and pushchair on them and they fit ok... dependant on type of wheelchair and as I work in a hospice I know the wheelchair that wanted to get on was small enough to fit!

So do I complain or is it not worth it?

OP posts:
Springyknickersohnovicars · 20/09/2011 20:19

Plus blocking the aisle means that most people cant get off the bus particularly dangerous if there is an accident.

I think the driver was being unreasonable though on second thoughts, he should have kicked her off the bus completely. He was too considerate in letting her remain for her journey.

CardyMow · 20/09/2011 20:20

YABvvvvvvvvvVVVVVU. Those spaces on buses are WHEELCHAIR spaces - the drivers can use their discretion to let pushchairs on if there is no wheelchair there - but on every bus I'VE been on (minimum 4 a day!) - There has been a sticker saying "Pushchairs are permitted to use this area, but if a wheelchair user wishes to board, you will need to fold your pushchair and put it in the luggage rack. Thank you for your co-operation".

I have got a pushchair at the moment, have no choice but to rely on the bus service, but if a wheelchair user was wishing to get on, I would either fold down my pram, or get off and wait for the next bus. Which I have done MANY TIMES.

And I've even got off the bus with my disabled son who was in a Mac Major wheelchair pram - because though it classes as a wheelchair, given out by the wheelchair service, an adult in a wheelchair very possibly needs to get somewhere by a given time, I just build the extra time to allow the possibility of having to get off and wait for the next bus into my travel time.

FGS do you REALLY think that travelling with a child gives you MORE right to be on the bus than a wheelchair user?? I will reiterate - YABVVU.

CardyMow · 20/09/2011 20:22
pictish · 20/09/2011 20:23

I'm afraid yabu OP. Wheelchairs get priority, and if the driver tells you to put your buggy down to let a wheelchair on, you do it. It doesn't matter a jot if you think you'll both fit in....it's not under your jurisdiction.

Kayano · 20/09/2011 20:24

Is this real?

If so... Wtf?!

diggingintheribs · 20/09/2011 20:24

Round my neck of the woods the bus drivers stop the bus and open the doors until the 'obstruction' has gone. You would have to have nerves of steel not to get off then! Wheelchairs always get priority and if you wont fold then you get the next bus.

I don't think the other passengers were shocked at the driver....

Agree YABU. It isn't safe to squeeze the buggy in with the wheelchair - no matter how small. If your child was old enough to understand what the bus driver said then he is old enough to be taken out of the buggy.

I have to do this regularly with DD who is 14 months - yes it's a pain but it's one of the costs of using public transport. And someone always offers me a seat

StrandedBear · 20/09/2011 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 20/09/2011 20:27

Why would you need to hold your buggy and your DC? There are racks for buggies and bags etc.

YABVU. And selfish.

Upwardandonward · 20/09/2011 20:39

I would say it's trolling, but it's not the OP's first post. However, I doubt they'll come back to this

mumeeee · 20/09/2011 20:43

YABU. You should have put your pushchair down. But thee bus driver should not have spoken to you like that.

FlubbaBubba · 20/09/2011 21:10

Truly and utterly Shock at you! I've had to re-read your OP a number of times because I thought, at first, that you were refusing to put your pram down to allow a wheelchair user onto the bus. But then I did re-read, and realised that my first understanding of the situation was correct?!!! WTF?!

FWIW I don't think the people around you on the bus were baffled by the (rude) driver, they were much more likely to have been thinking like we all are "WTactualF?!"

And again, Shock.

olibeansmummy · 20/09/2011 21:12

I really do hope it's a troll this time.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/09/2011 21:13

Mumsnet bingo! How many cliches can you get in an OP ! Hmm

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 20/09/2011 21:35

YABU. Why on earth didn't you say to the driver 'I'm pretty sure we'll both fit but if not I'll fold it'?
Of course the driver was rude - he didn't know you would both fit (I'm sure a lot of pushchairs wouldn't) and to him it seemed that you were refusing to fold your pushchair to allow a person on with their wheelchair.

nailak · 20/09/2011 21:38

but she wasnt blockin the wheelchair space? there was room for both?

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 20/09/2011 21:42

Yes but just because the OP knew her pushchair was small and would fit the driver likely didn't. And the OP didn't tell him (unless she has left that massive detail out of the op).

cricketballs · 20/09/2011 21:48

I am amazed at the number of thread I have read about people feeling aghast at folding their buggy to get on a bus! What do you think we all did before the buses that allowed a wheelchair etc were available.......you guessed it! we held lo and folded the buggy Shock

nailak · 20/09/2011 22:26

yes but once the busdriver made me fold my buggy when i was going to 6 week check up, AND THERE WAS NO OTHER BUGGIES ON BUS AND ABOUT 5 PASSENGERS. the passengers helped me by holding dd. and then when it was time to get off at drs i asked him to help as noone else was on the bus, and i couldnt lift dd and the pram at the same time. he said he wasnt allowed to, then he called the police and said i was refusing to get off the bus.....

Sirzy · 20/09/2011 22:30

And if the driver had helped and dropped the pram/baby someone would have probably sued him for doing so!

TandB · 20/09/2011 22:47

I truly hope you are making this up, OP.

If not, then I am utterly disgusted at your behaviour and quite frankly baffled that you have so little self-awareness that you thought you might get support here for your insane idea of making a complaint.

Can I suggest that you do in fact write a letter of complaint about what happened....and post it to yourself. And then that you then read it and have a serious think about what possessed you to cause a wheelchair user, legitimately entitled to that space, to wait for the next bus because you were a bit miffed at the way the driver spoke to you.

And you were actually surprised that an onlooker was a bit off with you? Words fail me.

Kayano · 20/09/2011 22:48

They have protective cabs for a reason. Unless someone has fallen o in in peril they should not get out of the cab for
Insurance reasons IMO

You had a pram and a baby, not a serious issue. You're not the first person to have a pram and a baby btw.

Stupid

Honeydragon · 20/09/2011 22:58

Prams fold, wheelchairs don't their is a reason for this. The driver is in charge he told you to fold. You should have folded. The Wheelchair user needs the space to manoeuvre.

If you are genuine fgs name change and lurk more, you need to stay so you can pick up tips on how to function in society.

PigfartsPigfartsHereICome · 20/09/2011 23:39

Um well.... to my mind, having paid my money to board and started my journey why should a wheelchair user get priority? May be an unpopular view but if I have two or three children in a buggy it can be impossible to fold buggy and manage all the belongings, children and the buggy. Plus if I've paid then I have to pay again to continue my journey. Now if I'm waiting for a bus with a buggy, and there is a wheelchair user waiting too then of course they take priority. But my local buses have a policy that if there are two buggies on, no more can get on so I have ages waiting for bus after bus to come by. Why does a wheelchair user get priority over someone who may have no choice in using a buggy, for example having several young children? Why is it a better option for a wheelchair user, not already on the bus, to get on and make someone who has paid to get off and wait with young children at a stop that wasn't their start or finish stop, and pay again, than for the wheelchair user to wait for the next bus without losing any money?

However this isn't something to complain over, a bus driver being 'rude' could just be someone wanting to get on with their job and some passenger is holding them up. Driver doesn't know that you think both will fit on, and just saying 'no' without explaining your reasoning is rude in itself. And folding a buggy with only one child is different, if its a small buggy it should be easy to fold. Thats one of the reasons I take a backpack with me everywhere so I can cram stuff in if I need to fold and cope with baby and toddler plus school age child.

Kayano · 20/09/2011 23:44

Someone clarify something for
Me please?

If you have a buggy and have paid, and get off to accommodate a wheelchair - which I would no questions asked because I am decent Grin

Do you have to pay again? Shouldn't bus companies have a policy on that to prevent you being out of pocket?

Genuinely interested as a soon to be mum Wink

Although... I do have a personal taxi in the form of a retired bus driver father Grin

worraliberty · 20/09/2011 23:45

No, you're expected to fold your buggy.

If you can't do that, it's not the bus company's fault so they won't refund you.

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