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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to an almost 10yo DS to walk to school alone?

32 replies

winnybella · 20/09/2011 07:53

Well, he's 9.8 yo. He has to walk 3 short blocks and cross 3 roads, a busy one on front of our house with the lights zebra crossing, one small one leading off a tiny roundabout (cars drive slowly there) and one close to school with a lollipop man.

Ex thinks it's not a good idea.

DS wants to walk by himself. I have initially followed him and he's seems to be very good about road safety.

Yesterday I cunningly said that I'll walk with him half way as I need to get bread and he said "ok, but I walk in front and you in the back' Hmm

He needs some independance but I'm here every morning chewing my nails wondering whether he got to school ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 07:54

In fact there 2 more crossing right in front of school, but very small roads and plenty of pupils/parents there so not worried as much about those.

OP posts:
Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 07:56

to let an almost 10yo....

OP posts:
TanteRose · 20/09/2011 07:58

of course he can walk to school by himself.

YANBU

MrsSleepy · 20/09/2011 07:59

Of course he can :-)

YANBU

CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/09/2011 07:59

YANBU. If there are any other children walking along, that would be good. Is he an 'ex' because of other control freakery behaviour?

Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 08:00

Grin yes, indeed, Cogito

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/09/2011 08:03

YANBU

Chopstheduck · 20/09/2011 08:13

I'd try to encourage him to find a friend to walk with, but yanbu. Mine is 11 and now has to catch the bus to school by herself.

Last year she was walking a mile to school alone, with ds1 (8-9yrs) crossing lots of minor roads. I won't let ds walk it alone yet, but would do once his friend is allowed to.

I think a lot of parents feel unable to let their kids out of sight without being judged, and it is a shame.

borderslass · 20/09/2011 08:14

YANBU DD2 was walking 2 miles to school by 8.6 and crossing 2 main roads.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 20/09/2011 08:17

My DDs have been walking a mile to school since the age of about 7 and 9 (walking together). They cross a few roads, 2 with lollipop ladies and one with a crossing.

spookshowangellovesit · 20/09/2011 08:23

my dd has been walk to school since 8. 10 should be no bother.

ragged · 20/09/2011 08:24

yanbu

inmysparetime · 20/09/2011 08:26

Let him walk. My DS has been walking to school since Y3, he now has his own key at 10yo and loves the responsibility.

Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 08:26

Thanks everyone. Yes, there's an element of wondering whether I'm being a neglectful mother Hmm.

Tbh the friend situation is not looking great at the moment-it's one of the reasons I let him walk by himself plus signing him up for swimming and karate classes plus generally giving him more responsibilities and independence so it'll be good for his self-confidence iyswim.

My baby's growing up. Next he'll want to take a bus by himself

OP posts:
borderslass · 20/09/2011 08:28

winnybella when DD2 started walking I got her a cheap mobile phone she texted/called me to say she was there and it was handed in to her teacher for the day.

Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 08:31

Good idea, borderlass Smile. We initially thought of maybe getting him one for his 10th birthday, but maybe we could get him one sooner.

OP posts:
Sofabitch · 20/09/2011 08:32

Mine walk cycle and they are 9 and 10 I still get the odd moment where they get home later than expected because they are chatting which sets my heart racing but it's 1.4 miles and they cross 3 roads one has an island. One has push button traffic lights and the other isn't that busy.

Bloodymary · 20/09/2011 08:32

YANBU. He will be fine.

Bonsoir · 20/09/2011 08:35

I agree with the mobile idea. My DD is nearly 7 and next year, when she turns 8, I want her to start doing a few short journeys on her own (journeys that don't include any road crossings) like go across the park after school to her art class, with a friend, or take the bus home from school (I would fetch her at the bus stop). I am planning to get her a mobile so that we can text each other about her progress and so that she can call me in an emergency.

melika · 20/09/2011 08:39

It's hard but I think go with your instinct, I let my son in Y6 go but he didn't have any roads without lights or lollipop person to cross him.

Saying that, I said to my 16 yr old, last Thursday, be careful on the roads. He turned around and said 'How old do you think I am, Mom?

Ten mins later he ring me up to tell me a girl had just been knocked over in front of his bus. She was 17 and going to college. Still don't know what her condition but I have had her on my mind ever since.

Original poster
winnybella · 20/09/2011 08:40

Ok, will look into getting a mobile then.

Bonsoir- I find the drivers here a bit reckless (obv.generalizing but...) which adds to my worries.

OP posts:
borderslass · 20/09/2011 08:46

Reason DD2 got mobile was 1. she has borderline ADHD and 2. it was main A7 to Edinburgh she had to cross plus a rat run.[several minor rds as well]

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 20/09/2011 08:51

My 10.4 DD walks to the bus stop, crossing one very busy road with a pelican crossing, then gets the bus, walks along two quiet roads and is at school within 20 minutes.
OP, your DS sounds ready to do it. YANBU.

gethelp · 20/09/2011 09:05

Agree yanbu, but make sure he isn't looking at the phone whilst walking along/crossing the road. I see lots of teenagers and adults not looking where they are going but the younger kids do seem to be a bit more aware. And I hope the friendship thing improves for him.

Bonsoir · 20/09/2011 09:08

I don't think that children should be crossing Parisian thoroughfares on their own until they are about 10, though small, quiet streets are OK if the children are skilled road-crossers.