Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish my friend would sometimes leave her dh at home?

32 replies

pink4ever · 18/09/2011 19:05

Have a group of girlfriends whom I have known for a couple of years. We try and get a few nights out-not often as we all have dcs-maybe 3 or 4 times a year(not including kids partys,coffees,school stuff etc).
One of my friends always brings her husband on our nights out. Now dont get me wrong I really like her dh-nice guy,good company etc but sometimes I would like it to be just the girls.
Have tried dropping hints but am I bu? Dont know if its partlyEnvy on my part as my dh would rather boil his own testicles than go on a girls night!

OP posts:
carabos · 18/09/2011 19:08

Had a friend who used to do this - we arrived at the conclusion that she did it so that she could make him pay as she had no access to their money....

SnapesMistress · 18/09/2011 19:09

Perhaps start organising things he won't want to go to, like a spa day.

eekamouse2 · 18/09/2011 19:10

I always make the invitation clearly for women only, even if it means when I text them I saym "shall we have a girly night out next Tues?" That can't be misinterpreted.

He must be a bit weird, I can imagine him going once assuming that it was couples, but after that you'd think he'd check!

eekamouse2 · 18/09/2011 19:10

Yes, a spa day including waxing should scare him off

Original poster
pink4ever · 18/09/2011 19:11

Good idea snapes-not convinced that would put him off though!
cara-no not that-she is sahm but he is very generous with their money unlike the tight arse I am married tooHmm

OP posts:
BlowHole · 18/09/2011 19:12

My ex was like that, he would never let me go out without him, obviously now i realise he was a controlling arse. Could that be the problem? Or maybe they don't get a chance to go out together very often?

AKissIsNotAContract · 18/09/2011 19:13

YANBU, I don't understand why he would want to go either. They must have to arrange childcare so they can both go out too.

Nanny0gg · 18/09/2011 19:14

Have you asked her why she brings him when the rest of you come on your own?

rockinastocking · 18/09/2011 19:14

God, stealth husbands.

I hate it when they turn up.

iklboo · 18/09/2011 19:15

Maybe she thinks if she leaves him at home to babysit she'll come back to a 'Dougal does the funeral' scene from Father Ted.

AKissIsNotAContract · 18/09/2011 19:16

Start comparing vibrators, or some other chat that makes him feel uncomfortable.

Original poster
pink4ever · 18/09/2011 19:16

No eek he knows he will be the only dh there but he doesnt mind! one of our other friends described him as a bit of a sweetie wife! I do say oh shall we have a girls night and then my friend does seem to just assume that includes him.
I think partly at the beginning it was through shyness on her part so understandable. They are one of those married couples who are still very much in love so again perhaps it is just jealousy on my part?.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 18/09/2011 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeaOnSea · 18/09/2011 19:23

I would find this really odd to be honest - especially if you actually say it's a girls night.

AmandaCooper · 18/09/2011 19:31

I've got a couple of friends like this, I've taken the hint and now I only do couples nights with those friends. One I haven't seen without her DH in over 5 years.

HappyCamel · 18/09/2011 19:31

YANBU but my DH usually comes out with me. He works long hours and likes the chance to socialise with me. We don't see much of each other in the week. He doesn't have many friends of his own too so mostly socialises with my friends.

carabos · 18/09/2011 19:32

rockin - stealth husbands - love that Grin

BimboNo5 · 18/09/2011 19:35

If you dont see each other very much why not just go out together? I wouldnt have the nerve to trail my DH along when its all other women. He is either a) an insecure control freak or b) a bit gay

MangoMonster · 18/09/2011 19:38

Yanbu, but maybe she has her reasons. Try making it more obvious.

iFailedTheTuringTest · 18/09/2011 19:42

Can I offer perspective from the other side. I am guilty of bringing dh along to mates nights out sometimes. He has depression, and needs to get out, but often won't. Dragging him along with me is often the only way to get him to interact with people. He is friendly and chatty and it does him a world of good to get out.

If I was asked on a girly night I wouldn't tho.

Just saying, your friends might not be joined at the hip, or suffering under a controlling arse, just trying their best.

I would hope my friends were good enough friends to feel able to tell me if they were annoyed by me occasionally dragging him blinking into the light.

pigletmania · 18/09/2011 19:45

It is very odd indeed. why don't you be more obvious, and say I am organising a girls only night, so no dh/dp please. Arrange a girly type day that he would hate e.g. Chippendales or any male strip group, or yes a spa or pamper day (can just picture him in a face mask). I personally would confront my friend as to why she brings her dh and tell her that you rather him not be there.

pigletmania · 18/09/2011 19:47

My dh would rather take out his eyes and boil them than go on a girly night tbh Grin

BlowHole · 18/09/2011 19:57

I would be concerned that he won't actually let her out without him, but my opinion is coloured by my own experience.

DontGoCurly · 18/09/2011 20:08

She probably hates girly nights out. I know I do. I treasure my evenings with my DP and resent giving up an evening (espcially at weekends) for a 'girly night out' !

Hassled · 18/09/2011 20:09

Maybe she has no choice in the matter.