after 22 years he still can't put things away properly - it's 90% there

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AIBU to be extremely fed up that I always have to do the last 10% - like take the fruit out of bags in fruit bowl and put the biscuits away rather than leave them on the side. Like tidy up the undersink cupboard so that the door actually closes

I am furious

no not furious - fed up with the inanity of it all

I'm not his fucking mother

put the fucking shopping away completely or don't do it at all

open the curtains fully or don't do it at all

clean up after you cook or don't do it at all

just stop leaving work for me

Have you borrowed my DH?

Does he also expect you to thank him for doing any jobs ?

Oh dear, so it doesn't get better??? We've been together for nearly 8 years and it doesn't matter how many times I gently remind nag him to not leave empty wrappers and biscuits etc he still does!

• shut the wardrobe door every morning and evening after retrieving clothes/putting clothes away
• rinse round wash basin after brushing teeth
• make bed again after afternoon nap

etc etc etc

Does he hoover around piles on the floor, too?

You're doing better than me at 90%

My nick name for DH is Half Job

ah yes half-arsed-itis

my perennial whinge when I go to stay at my parents' and my brothers are home from university

Yanbu. Solidarity here. DH hoovers, but never puts it away. Why? Why? Doesn't even unplug it! If he mops anything he leaves the bucket full of dirty water in the doorway with mop still in. I could go on.

It's not that DH won't do anything - it's the fact that, like the OP said, it just never gets finished properly.

For example. DH will do a pile of ironing but either leave the clothes dangling on a door handle so we can't get in or out of a room without them falling on the floor or the DC and I have to exchange clothes every day as he has put them in the wrong wardrobes. I have to point out here I have two sons - no daughters!

Gives DD her bath and manages not to clean her ears or nose and returns her to me to get her dressed/dry her hair and clean up the bathroom...

ARGH!! My Dh too.

He cuts his own hair (with clippers) and when I picked up some hair off the floor of the bathroom today while he was busy, he had a go at me because he was going to clean it up. Half an hour later when I went to turn the tap on, I saw bits of hair all over the taps and the spout.

He will wash the dishes but leave the (non-stick) pots and a sink full of disgusting old dishwater.

He will bath DS but leave the water in.

He will have shower then drop the wet towel on the floor.

I cannot just LEAVE it for him to do because I work from home childminding to have the stuff half done drives me insane.

sigh

I'm sure they do it so you can't whinge at them for doing nothing. My MIL always says "yeah that's what men are like" and I secretly think "Your husband's like that and you've raised your son to be the same with that thinking"

TBH, I think that it is much harder work to raise boys to look after themselves properly (and this includes personal hygiene, tidying their room, eating nutritious food, not leaving a messy trail etc) than girls - they take more training. Lots of mothers give up in despair.

DH will wash the dishes but puts all the really greasy stuff in the same water as glasses. Either that or he balances everything Jenga fashion in the sink ready for me to do them!

Oh yes, and when he says 'I've cleaned the kitchen' it means he's loaded the dishwasher, wiped around all the stuff on the work surfaces that he's shoved to the back and made a nice neat pile of anything that doesn't dishwash at the side of the sink.

Bonsoir that might be the case, I don't know. My children are only small. Thing is, I'm quite messy myself, so I need to put a lot of effort into keeping on top of things. The second I let go because I don't know I've been busy with other stuff or poorly, the house turns into a bombside which needs more work to be put into liveable state, and that's tiring.

My MIL (and I love her to bits, dont get me wrong) is of the "let the men go to the pub for bonding time while we tend to children and cook a meal" type. It infuriates me, as a) I'd prefer the pub myself and b) it reinforces the idea that that's how it should be

oh boy... this is my house, no one else is able to change a loo roll and put the tube in recycle bin, no one else is able to carry clean washing upstairs (they just step over it) and when if anyone does hoover they say 'oh i hoovered for you' wtf its their house too arghhhhh

my mother is still there after 40 years of this.

it took 20 years of nagging (and a thieving dog) to get my Dad to put the bread away after making a sandwich.

now he does that, but you find the butter knife in the fridge because he won't it away separately..

it should make me feel better that they're all the same shouldn't it?

and yet still

i think it takes generations to change. my brothers tidy up after themselves (note, not after anyone else, as they are both childless it remains to be seen how that on egoes)...maye in a few hundred years, men (in general, i know there are some very well domesticated men on MN) will pull their weight around the house.....

My DH's stock response is that, "he's doing his best".
Non dishwash stuff stacked on draining board check
Things that are 'difficult' to put away left on the worktop check
Food debris left in the sink plughole in kitchen check
Whiskers in sink after shave check
Other pans 'left to soak' in sink check

OMG I'm so glad I'm not alone!!!