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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a some flowers on our wedding anniversary?

16 replies

snarks · 18/09/2011 08:21

We have been married 6 years today and husband has given me cup of tea and a card, and is now watching rugby. I'm feeling a bit sad as was hoping for a bunch of flowers. Should point out that I am quite hormonal at the moment! Do people still bother with hearts and flowers after 6 years or AIBU to expect/hope for a romantic gesture?

OP posts:
BatsUpMeNightie · 18/09/2011 08:24

Hey - he remembered didn't he? What did you get for him?

LilRedWG · 18/09/2011 08:27

You could always buy him some flowers and then you can both enjoy them. :)

PrinceRogersNelson · 18/09/2011 08:27

It was mine yesterday and I got a gift, but not much fuss. I got him a card.

Fine by me. We will celebrate 10 years more I should think.

Honeydragon · 18/09/2011 08:28

It depends, do you normally bother? Does he know that for you, this day holds an expectation?

It was my 10th this week. Dh and I don't bother with them, but as he was away I sneaked a little gifting his case on the tin theme. Only cost £10.00 tops. It cheered a miserable week up for him, but I certainly didn't expect anything myself.

I think cuppa and card was a nice touch Smile, what did you do for him?

Original poster
snarks · 18/09/2011 08:32

True, he did remember. I got him a card and have also bought champagne and stuff for a nice dinner tonight (which he knows about).

I usually do end up buying flowers for myself/us/the house - was just hoping that he might do it today!

We have been having bad times recently and I was hoping that he might make an effort I suppose :(

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 18/09/2011 08:37

CONFESSION. I never fail in this matter. But then I have set up a reminder on my office email! Wink

Bunbaker · 18/09/2011 08:50

We have been married for 30 years and have never bought each other an anniversary gift. OH has a terrible memory and has said that he needs reminding when birthdays come round. It takes the spontaneity away, but he says he can't bear the martyred look because he has forgotten.

For anniversaries we just go out for dinner instead.

wicketkeeper · 18/09/2011 08:51

Please don't play the 'guess what I'm thinking' game. It leaves you feeling cross, and it leaves him not knowing why you're cross. If you would like him to buy flowers for you, tell him that you would really like him to buy flowers for you. It doesn't spoil the surprise. But if you don't tell him, and he doesn't do it, don't blame him for that.

Honeydragon · 18/09/2011 09:07

If you're problems at the moment, then flowers aren't going to fix it anyway Smile

notherdaynotherdollar · 18/09/2011 09:08

been married 30 years and dont buy gifts but do do weekends away and whatnot

sayithowitis · 18/09/2011 10:16

Almost 30 years here. DH has given me flowers on every anniversary so far. Sometimes big bouguet, more often a supermarket bunch (money is very tight Sad) He always gets a card for me as well.

On 'big' anniversaries there are usually pressies as well. And he never needs me to remind him about dates of birthdays/anniversaries etc. He even remembers his own mother's birthday without me reminding him!

FanjoString · 18/09/2011 10:19

I'm with wicketkeeper. If you've been expecting flowers, you should have told him. People can't meet your expectations if they don't know what they are.

Acekicker · 18/09/2011 10:23

Traditionally in our house a couple of days before our anniversary or Valentine's one of us will look at the other and utter the traditional phrase 'oh bugger it's our anniversary/Valentine's I've not done anything about it, am guessing you haven't either - shall we just get takeaway and some wine...'. Grin

Don't make a big deal out of no flowers, especially if things aren't great at the moment. Step back and look at the more fundamental things going on - even if the lack of flowers encapsulates current problems, dealing with it by making it about that won't help in the long run as it will look like it was just about that, rather than the bigger picture.

spookshowangellovesit · 18/09/2011 10:30

always expected gifts etc and always let hubby know this to avoid disappointment.
this would come in the form of flowers, chocs, whatever.
i always got a massive bunch of flowers on christmas eve though, a tradtion he started all on his own. which was lovely.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 18/09/2011 12:52

snarks - sounds like you need a hug, the bad times will pass hopefully so don't worry, enjoy the meal as a time to put some of the wrongs right and remember, flowers are just a gesture, he remembered and you are still together after 6 years , everyone has bad times and they help cement the relationship as you work through them. smile and have a lovely evening together.

PeggyCarter · 18/09/2011 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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