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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my 6 year old to swimming lessons?

23 replies

Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 18:54

I have a dd who swims 25 hours a week.

My ds takes after me and does not get any pleasure from swimming. He is 6 and can swim 100m in breaststroke, frontcrawl and backstroke.

He has now said he does not want to go swimming any more.

He does the following sport outside of school:
Monday Football
Wednesday Gymnastics
Thursday Karate
Saturday Football

Plus sport 3 times a week at school.

My mother has just been on the phoning telling me he'll never be as good as his sister at swimming if he doesn't put the practice in, and I said he doesn't want to. And she said well he has to learn to swim. I said he has learnt to swim, just never going to be competitive, and would never do swimming for fun.

She said at 6, he should still be having weekly swimming lessons.

AIBU to not do lessons with him? (My dh and I both detest swimming so we'll never go swimming with him just for fun)

OP posts:
worraliberty · 16/09/2011 18:56

I'm sure you know YANBU

Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 18:57

Just want reassurance - when your mother is telling you you are wrong, it's nice to know you are not.

OP posts:
Hardgoing · 16/09/2011 18:58

Of course not! If he doens't like it and he can swim well enough to not drown, you have done a great job. Your mum is talking nonsense.

SandStorm · 16/09/2011 18:59

Of course YANBU. I stopped taking my children once they could swim confidently. As far as I was concerned it was a life skill and now they have it we don't need to have lessons to work on stroke improvement, which is what it boils down to. Neither of them are ever going to be competitive swimmers so what's the point.

festi · 16/09/2011 19:00

YANBU

knittedbreast · 16/09/2011 19:02

why is he doing so much?

Andrewofgg · 16/09/2011 19:03

YANBU. Everyone should learn to swim but not everyone will enjoy it. And it need not be competitive.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/09/2011 19:03

I wonder if you had siblings, and whether she invited such comparisons/encouraged such competitiveness between you?

YANBU

Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 19:03

Doing so much? As in the other sports? Because he wants to and is very sporty, but just not into the water.

Or do you mean my dd? Because she is a fish!

OP posts:
Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 19:05

Oh yes, my mother can make anything in life a competition.

Much to her frustration I do not have a competitive bone in my body - this she cannot understand.

My ds is competitive over everything, bar anything to do with water.

My dd takes after my mother, and will compete on anything.

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 16/09/2011 19:07

It is so damaging for siblings to have to compete against each other. I try very hard to not sign my kids up for the same things. Sometimes they are both super interested in something (surfing at the moment) and I enroll both of them, but try to discourage overlapping activities whenever possible. It was interesting to watch them this summer both doing surfing. Their styles are so different that they weren't being compared to each other, but it has definitely happened in other activities. In fact, swimming was one of the problematic ones.

If your ds is water safe, please do not keep making him take the lessons. He will only end up hating to swim. (I feel this way about tennis as was forced to have lessons when I was a child - oddly this was the ONLY thing I was forced to do).

Sirzy · 16/09/2011 19:08

They are two different children therefore shouldn't be expected (or forced) to like the same things.

That said if you son wants to go swimming for fun at some point in the future I would still take him even though you dont like swimming. Will be good to him to keep it up with the occasional pleasure swim if he so wishes.

Sofabitch · 16/09/2011 19:08

I think yabu for making a 6 year old do so many after school activities. Never mind the swimming.

Choufleur · 16/09/2011 19:08

We've just stopped DS's swimming lessons - he's 5. He prefers going with us and having fun and is actually managing to swim further than at his lessons.

He'll resent going if he's made to. YANBU.

pointythings · 16/09/2011 19:09

My DDs were both 6 when they stopped swimming lessons, having completed ASA stage 8 (old system) and 5 (new system) which made both of them confident swimmers with effective stroke, flotation techniques, treading water and underwater swimming/basic diving. Your DS sounds like he's there too, he's much better than basic so why force him if he doesn't enjoy it, especially since he has so many other sporting interests?

YANBU, and your DM is wrong.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/09/2011 19:10

I don't think the OP is making him. He likes it. It' strikes me as quite a lot, but some DCs have a lot of energy

aldiwhore · 16/09/2011 19:10

YANBU, my eldest doesn't enjoy swimming. He's at a stage where if he fell into a pond he'd be able to at least have a fighting chance, and that's good enough for me.

I can't say I GET it, being an ex synchronised swimmer and surf lifesaver and general water baby (later a whale, but still in touch with my aquatic nature) but all that's needed is a basic ability not to drown on contact with water, so I accept it.

worraliberty · 16/09/2011 19:10

Where has the OP said she 'makes' her son do those activities? Confused

Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 19:11

Re after school activities that is his choice and his request.

But that was one of the points I was making to my mum, as to when exactly would the swimming lessons be fitted in. And she said he should drop another activity to do swimming.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 19:12

He has got his level 5, so that's exactly where he's at.

OP posts:
Acekicker · 16/09/2011 19:13

YANBU, I was a very sporty kid but loathed swimming with a passion even though I was reasonably good at it. There's no better way to turn a kid of sport than to force them to do ones they don't enjoy as it tends to turn very quickly into an 'anti-any kind of organised sport' attitude.

If he can swim 100m at age 6 he's got a good chance of not drowning so if he's not enjoying it let him drop it and do the sports he enjoys...

MaureenMLove · 16/09/2011 19:13

I never spent the money on swimming lessons. Mainly because I had better things to spend my money on, like family outings - to the swimming pool!

I've never really understood the concept of swimming lessons tbh.

Original poster
Thereyougo · 16/09/2011 19:17

I originally did swimming lessons, as like I say I'd never take him along to the pool (my biggest problem is changing rooms urgh hair on the floor when bear foot I'm flinching just thinking about it!!!) myself, and can see basic swimming is a life skill.

But we have finished with that now, IMNSHO.

OP posts:
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