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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else struggling with the jump from Year 2 to Year 3? Our school seem to think the kids have aged about 4 years over the summer.

20 replies

IceAndSnow · 16/09/2011 12:59

DS has been in the same school since nursery, so this is his 5th year.

He has loved every minute of it, never once breathed a word of not wanting to go, and has also done very well academically.

Now he is in the juniors, the difference in the environment is tremendous.

He came home crying on his first day back because he hadn't managed to finish a piece of work in class time and was sent to the detention room to finish it at lunch. He hadn't been naughty or playing up, just simply hadn't finished the work quick enough. He missed his beloved football club at lunchtime because of it.

I am told that this a regular thing, and that the detention room will be used for "finishing work off" as well as a punishment for naughty behaviour.

This seems a very mixed message. Is it normal to treat a just turned 7 year old in this way?

It is sooo far removed from the lovely child centered approach that we have been used to from Nursery up to Year 2.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 16/09/2011 13:05

My son's just gone up to Juniors and its a big step, more quiet work, more pressure to finish, more tests, more homework, more discipline... but the teachers are very kind in our school and they have warnings, and they explain very clearly what will be expected of the children from now on.

I would say your DS's punishment sounds fairly harsh, and I would be speaking to the school for clarification. Your son has been left confused, the goal posts have changed and its not fair to punish if he's not been told.

Have to say though that my son is still loving every minute of school, he's nearly 8 though, so maybe thats where the difference lies?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/09/2011 13:09

It is a big step going from the infants to the juniors.......it's hard for most of them and my DS found it quite difficult but after a few weeks he was fine again.

Yes, if they dont finish their work in the alloted time they will have to miss some of their playtime to do so....with my DS he only had to miss a few before he came out of la la land and got up to speed.

They start really early getting them ready for senior school..too early in my opinion.....but yes this all seems normal. As long as your DS understands he is not in the detention room as a form of punishment but is just there to finish off some work I dont see anything wrong with it.

Give him time, he'll get used to it pretty quickly I'm sure.

anniemac · 16/09/2011 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 13:10

He hadn't been naughty or playing up, just simply hadn't finished the work quick enough. He missed his beloved football club at lunchtime because of it.

If it's how he says, then he shouldn't be punished in any way for that. Speak to the teacher about it, maybe there's more to it.

If he didn't finish just because he ran out of time, not being naughty, they should be looking at why it took him so long and if there's anything he needs more help with.

Fimbo · 16/09/2011 13:13

Yes my ds is finding year 3 a struggle. He doesn't tell me much tbh, but I know the school and there will be lunchtime detentions for those who don't finish their work in time. Ds has a real problem with writing, he hates it and I know he is lazy over it, so I would imagine he will be in detention quite a lot. Whether he ever tells me or not, remains to be seen. Parents night will be interesting in a few weeks.

Original poster
IceAndSnow · 16/09/2011 13:20

I think that type of situation is where my problem lies with this, Fimbo.

Every child has a 'weak point' so to speak. My ds struggles with English work too.

Therefore, I fully expect him to be 'in detention' every Monday when they do English. Is this not just making him hate the subject even more?

And if he does not have a natural flare for that subject, is there really any point in forcing it out of him in this way?

In other subjects that come easily to him, he is unlikely to ever have this problem. He seems to excel in maths and sports.

This punishment in my view, will end up with him hating English work and also losing out on the opportunity to develop the skills he is good at (ie. sports clobs at lunch time).

OP posts:
munstersmum · 16/09/2011 13:24

Guess it's how the school chooses to get the message across. DS just into yr3 told me he earned a team point for choosing to miss the start of afternoon break to finish his maths sheet. Not all kids finished them. A more positive approach than a detention room.

BleurghUna · 16/09/2011 13:28

You son's teacher sounds a bit harsh OP! Putting him in the detention room to finish homework gives the wrong message.
YANBU, I agree it seems a big step up from infant school! They are expected to remember a lot. DD1 has just started Junior School, aged 7.5.
The parents don't go into the school anymore, the children line up in the playground and go in with the teacher. I have to remind her to bring home her lunchbox, water bottle, homework diary and homework book, it's a lot to remember and she's only 7!
Also if she has to take a letter in I can't be sure if she will remember to give it to the teacher or put it in the right place.
It will get easier though ...

BleurghUna · 16/09/2011 13:28

You son's teacher sounds a bit harsh OP! Putting him in the detention room to finish homework gives the wrong message.
YANBU, I agree it seems a big step up from infant school! They are expected to remember a lot. DD1 has just started Junior School, aged 7.5.
The parents don't go into the school anymore, the children line up in the playground and go in with the teacher. I have to remind her to bring home her lunchbox, water bottle, homework diary and homework book, it's a lot to remember and she's only 7!
Also if she has to take a letter in I can't be sure if she will remember to give it to the teacher or put it in the right place.
It will get easier though ...

BleurghUna · 16/09/2011 13:28

Ooops didn't mean to post twice!

BleurghUna · 16/09/2011 13:28

Ooops didn't mean to post twice!

lesstalkmoreaction · 16/09/2011 13:44

I would have a problem with it being referred to as detention as that seems so negative and a punishment.
My ds now in year 5 spent most of year 3 and 4 having days when he had to stay in to complete work but it was called 'homework club' and the teacher would help him to finish. He is dyslexic and hated doing homework and english so they tried to turn him having to miss playtime into something positive.
In the end it backfired as he enjoyed it too much and the teacher ended up spending most of her break time helping him do his homework, we thought it was great as it took all the stress out of bringing any work home!!! I notice its not happening in year 5 unfortunately.

Original poster
IceAndSnow · 16/09/2011 14:12

That sounds like a much better approach, munstersmum.

WIBU to 'have a word' about this with the teacher?

The last thing I want is to make things worse for ds.

I know lots of the other mums are not very happy about it either though.

OP posts:
Original poster
IceAndSnow · 16/09/2011 15:55

bump

OP posts:
Oblomov · 16/09/2011 16:53

Sounds VERY Harsh, OP.
Ds1(7.8) came home on day 1 and told me that he will get a warning, then a detention, if reading is not done every night. 1 or 2 nights are o.k. he said, but after that he said, its not acceptable !! Right, I said, best make sure we read every night then. So we don't get in trouble. Yes he said.
If my child was regularly staying in, or getting 'detentions', which, lets be honest, is a very negative word, I would want the issue to be discussed.

Oblomov · 16/09/2011 16:59

Have just asked ds, he says he has not had to stay in, at playtime(am) or lunchtime, yet. he also tells me that noone else has had to stay in, yet.
Which kind of makes your situation a bit more worrying, OP.

PopcornMouse · 16/09/2011 17:05

Yes, I would have a word - find out what their policy is, and what reasoning it's based on, and what practical evidence they have to support this method of "encouragement".

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 17:08

Definitely have a word with the teacher.

Oblomov, how do they check that he's read every night. Do you have to update the reading record each day?

Oblomov · 16/09/2011 17:19

Yes Totem, we have a yellow book, 'Reading Record '. Nomrally get one per year. We have it every year, since reception. And you just write a comment.
So ds is reading a book that has 100 pages, so thta may last us 3 weeks. I just write a very small comemnt each night, what page he's up to and how difficult he is finding it.

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 17:50

Oblomov, that sounds like a task to me. Not that it's a big thing to do, but remembering to update each day, I'd probably forget. Since yr 3, we've only have to do ours once a week. They have to write a paragraph about the book and whether or not they would recommend it or if they enjoyed it.

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