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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate it when people refer to their duel heritage children as.....

161 replies

Parachute2011 · 16/09/2011 11:13

1/3 of this, 1/4 of that, 3/4 of the other. People are people and I hate to hear them being referred to like slices of pizza. If someone is going to be racist to you, they would ask if your grandfather was Swiss before insulting you.

I do think that the many cultures that are part of the child's life should be celebrated. But IMO referring to a child or adult as anything less than a whole person is insulting.

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 16/09/2011 22:07

I would not use dual heritage but do say that my DC are dual nationality.

Cause erm, they are.

German/British.

If I were to be pizza about it, I would say they are 1/8 Austrian, 3/8 German, 4/8 Scottish.

SouthernFriedTofu · 16/09/2011 22:07

dd is 1/4 french 1/2 english and 1/4 american

what's it to you?

NeedaCostume · 16/09/2011 22:09

As so often on MN, the first reply is the correct answer.

AmberLeaf · 16/09/2011 22:14

Dual heritage is public sector wankery God yes.

It is bollox anyway, some mixed race people have more than two 'races' in their heritage anyway.

Nothing wrong with mixed race at all

TooMuchFuckingPerspective · 16/09/2011 22:22

I'm 1/3 dickhead, 2/9 numerically dyslexic and 1/2 pissed. That's all.

Whatmeworry · 17/09/2011 07:16

No, I'm 50% Spartacus and 50% Spartacus :o

FreudianSlipper · 17/09/2011 09:25

i will often tell people ds is a 1/4 sri lankan because with his golden red hair and fair skin you would never ever think so, my family think it is very funny. i am quite fair so its surprising that i am 1/2

can not really see what you are getting would up about

Gincognito · 17/09/2011 10:02

Strewel heritage - brought up on an excess of cautionary tales.

Ds is a perfect candidate for dual heritage but I'm not keen on the term. I used mixed race at the moment but will be guided by his preferred term as he grows. He is half white British and half Japanese but when out with me I sometimes find myself explaining his ethnicity as people assume he is white because of his pale skin, light hair and round eyes. It's important to me (although I can't say precisely why) that that assumption is challenged..

Boobz · 17/09/2011 11:25

Thanks metal... I'm currently in the early stages of an OU course ("human genetics and health issues" so this is all fascinating to me at the moment!

Are you a geneticist?

crystalglasses · 17/09/2011 11:47

I have traced my ancestors back to the 14th century and when I visit certain parts of England I love to think that they lived there 500 years ago, tilling the land.

motherinferior · 17/09/2011 11:58

I describe myself as mixed race. I look entirely white - I have red hair and white skin - but I have an Indian mother. It is important to me to have that recognised.

SquidgyBiscuits · 17/09/2011 12:26

I describe myself as 1/4 Danish and 3/4 British because thats what I am. It is indisputable fact. I am proud of my heritage, so why wouldn't I tell people??

And I say British as opposed to English as our nation is called Great Britain. Kind of in the same way as an American would describe themselves as such rather than Texan, Iohan etc. I know both would be appropriate, but either is sufficient and all comes down to choice.

Quintessentialist · 17/09/2011 12:42

It can get confusing sometimes.
My sons are half Polish and half Norwegian. Both born in Britain. When we moved to Norway when my oldest was 6, and non of them spoke much Norwegian, but sounded like londoners, Norwegians called them English. Which of course they werent. But for sure, they were not identified as being Norwegian, not until they had been there three years, knew the language, culture and customs. Even then, other kids who knew them from before they spoke the language did not look upon them as Norwegian by any stretch of the imagination, despite being ultra blond and with blue eyes.

So what is the main factor that decides your identity? Your parents language, culture, customs and birthplace, or your own?

Stoirin · 17/09/2011 12:50

Swiss isn't a race.

TanteRose · 17/09/2011 13:00

In Japan, the word "haafu" (half) is used as a term to describe any person who is half-Japanese and half-something else. Some non-Japanese object to this because it reminds them of the term "half-caste". They call their kids "double" to indicate two cultures etc.

I actually don't really mind using "haafu" as I know it is a Japanese word now, and does not really have the implication of half-caste.

It helps that "haafu" Japanese are thought of as being very special, and mostly are gorgeous!

My DCs are "haafu" - DD is very tall with curly hair, but her facial features are more like my Japanese DH. DS has straight hair, but looks more like me. They would class themselves as Japanese, who happen to have a British mother Smile

Gincognito · 17/09/2011 14:35

TanteRose, one of my friends said that recently "dabburu" (double) is becoming more popular!

I'm not a huge fan of haafu myself because (unlike the op's example), I do think it has an underlying hint of only being half of something...only half a japanese person? Not sure. That said, I still use it when speaking Japanese as frankly dabburu sounds silly.

My experience is that haafu children are thought of positively and as super cute (eg a large percentage of child models are mixed White/Japanese), but the story is different for adults, who will find it hard to break through from the 'outsider' role.

Completely off topic TanteRose, but the same friend also mentioned a new euphemism for dekichatta kekkon...double happiness or some such? That made me larf.

Gincognito · 17/09/2011 14:37

Sorry, I obviously didn't read your post properly before posting Tante Blush

caramelwaffle · 17/09/2011 23:39

Ewell Heritage - father from Surrey

mumblechum1 · 17/09/2011 23:47

Fuel heritage - parents are coalminers

Sewell heritage - father is a posh git

Original poster
Parachute2011 · 18/09/2011 01:41

Hi All,
Thanks for all your posts - both positive and negative. I was just interested to hear what people felt about this.
I have no problem with the term mixed race. Both my DH and I are very mixed. No one in our immediate family looks alike. And we celebrate the many cultures we have come from and want the children to know this. But I am also aware that the DC are treated differently by people ( racists and some who say they are not) according to their differing skin tones. My 2 year old experienced racism by an older man with his grandchildren. Sad but true. It was completely unexpected and fortunately she didn't understand what was being said to her. (I wanted to rip his head off).
Anyway, I have heard people reeling off 1/4 this, 3/4 that, 1/2 the other, as a way of downplaying a particular race. Almost as if to say 'look s/he is not all bad.' (I know not all people do this.) But I do get annoyed when I hear it being done and I don't want others to expect me to do it (that expectation is often there.)
@ Gincog "My experience is that haafu children are thought of positively and as super cute (eg a large percentage of child models are mixed White/Japanese), but the story is different for adults, who will find it hard to break through from the 'outsider' role. "
I think you will find that the story is very different for Black/Japanese children. Despite being born and raised there and fluent in the language, they are often treated as outsiders.
I know a lot of you will disagree with me and I will most probably be shot down in flames. But I am not intending to offend anyone.

OP posts:
garlicnutty · 18/09/2011 03:16

It's bonkers, innit. I used to live in Brazil. You get whole extended families there, in which nobody looks even remotely like the others. This is what genes do - also, genes like to be mixed up, so those large families feature an extraordinarily high proportion of devastatingly beautiful people with outstanding talents. But in Britain, nobody would believe such people could be biologically related because our perspective is so narrow. I've heard British experts state that healthy black people can't have naturally blue eyes, blondes can't have black skin and so on. They don't know what they're on about!

Things are changing pretty fast. Give it time ... :)

Going back to your OP: those Brazilian families wouldn't bother describing themselves as half this, a quarter that - it would be pointless. But they do know where the various racial strains that made them came from, at least roughly. It's just more generalised - "she shows our Scottish ancestry, he's all Africa, she's got the European hair and the Black backside," etc. I think everybody likes to be able to explain themselves, iyswim. To the point where bog-standard Brits like me try to make ourselves interesting by going on about our quarters and our halves!

Gincognito · 18/09/2011 06:43

Parachute, absolutely agree with you, which is why I specified that White/japanese kids are the ones regarded as super kawaii. I have lived in Okinawa where there are are many Black/Japanese kids. I know their experiences are very different :(.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 18/09/2011 07:42

We are all technically mixed race in the uk, celts, Vikings, Romans, normans, etc etc. For ease I do say that my ds and dd are 1/4 Italian, as my dh is half Italian. Does make me laugh though when my kids are on holiday, as they tan really quickly and go quite brown despite my best efforts with suncream, and poor dh is there at the end of the holiday, milk White and with factor 50 slapped all over. People are like "are you sure?" as stereotype Italian has olive skin........
I personally think I got quite a lot of the Viking in my mix though, being nearly 6th tall, built like, well, like a Viking, with blonde hair and grey eyes.........

CoteDAzur · 18/09/2011 08:08

"people reeling off 1/4 this, 3/4 that, 1/2 the other, as a way of downplaying a particular race. Almost as if to say 'look s/he is not all bad.'"

Shock

I have never seen this, and we live in a very multicultural area where parents tend to have different nationalities. My DC speak three languages are this is not at all unusual here.

And I have never heard of anyone mention % of their genetic heritage as a way of downplaying that race.

fedupofnamechanging · 18/09/2011 08:20

It's probably been said already, but isn't everyone dual heritage, because everyone has two parents?