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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the thread police hopping around saying ' this should be in.....section' are not really helping the site to seem welcoming!

143 replies

Northernlurker · 15/09/2011 12:34

That's all.

It's jolly annoying.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 15:03

Thanks Rhubs :)

One of the things I love about Mumsnet is the ability many people have (and I am trying to learn) to disagree with a poster very strongly on one topic while agreeing with them on other things and respecting (or even liking) them throughout.

TheRhubarb · 15/09/2011 15:58

Well some can do it Trillian and some can't. However the way you have held yourself on this thread is worthy of applaud.

I hope that those who have named you in their rude posts now go and hang their heads in SHAME!

So now, shall I ask a style question in AIBU just to lure you along? Wink

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 16:11

I'm not ashamed, what an odd thing to say Confused. I have only seen Trillian posting about it up until today.

SnakeOnCrack · 15/09/2011 16:13

yeah it's a load of arse

festi · 15/09/2011 16:45

its not really a serious problem though is it Rhubarb so no need to hang heads in shame. no one is vilifying trillion for this though are they. its a fairly non serious topic though isnt it, some a mildly irritated others arnt I dont think mn are about to order a witch hunt.

BupcakesandCunting · 15/09/2011 16:45

Sometimes I do think "why is this in AIBU?" but no-one dropped off their perch and appointed me Queen if Mumsnet so I don't say anything...

What does bake my noodles is when there is a good thread, maybe not posted in the right section, everyone is laughing and joking away despite incorrect thread location, then a thread pitbull comes on snarling and growling. It just makes me think that they're probably a little bit lonely IRL. A bit like Norris off Coronation St.

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 17:55

MNHQ also think posters who see a topic in the wrong place should contact them rather than derail threads too.

I think they want their prefect badge back.

TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 18:01

Do they? They haven't told me that...

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 18:03

This is the email I got.

Hi there,

Thanks for that. You are not the only mumsnetter to have noticed this.
We agree that it might be more useful if this poster contacts us rather then post this on a thread.

Best wishes

MNHQ

TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 18:07

Well they haven't said anything to me.

And on an admittedly small sample here MNers said they'd rather not have their threads moved without it being mentioned to them.

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 15/09/2011 18:07

The thing with AIBU is that it every thread could be in a different topic though if you think about it.

'AIBU to think this was a shit dinner' - could be in Food

'AIBU to be fed up of MIL interfering' - could be in Relationships

'AIBU to think this dog is dangerous' - could be in The Doghouse

And so on... We'd end up with nothing in AIBU everything was posted in the 'correct' topic.

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 18:08

Well you should take it up with them.

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2011 18:17

I'm not saying AIBU has a sensitive reputation, because that would be laughable Grin but I've read threads where posters have said there seem to be a lot of troll posts in the relationship section, and other threads where some posters are reluctant to post in the doghouse.

So maybe AIBU is the lesser of two (w)evils?

Perhaps if whoever is annoyed with the thread being in the wrong place and wants to report it, then they could PM the OP of the thread to say they've done it?

Then the thread isn't moved out of the blue and we don't have to read the same post and discussion about the thread police over and over on different threads.

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 18:36

Also on this thread and around MN a large number of members have stated they would like you to not tell them where they should post.

TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 18:41

Er, no. I am posting as I see fit and if the owners of the forum have a problem they can take it up with me.

As I see it, if they leave me be then they do not object to how I am posting.

Hi Trillian,

As long as you are polite we do not see any problem with you informing posters of the existence of topics other than AIBU.

Best wishes,
Rebecca
MNHQ

^ MNHQ did not send that. I just wrote it. Therefore I am disregarding your alleged C&P of an email from them. I'm not saying that you wrote it yourself, but you easily could have^.

Original poster
Northernlurker · 15/09/2011 18:42

Back from work now.

I guess Trillian has been named so much because she has done it so much. When mumsnetting at lunchtime I found her on several threads I looked at but I also saw other posters doing it too - hence my thread.

This is not an anti-Trillian thread. It's anti a particular web behaviour and I am of course pleased to see I'm not alone in my feelings. However I don't want to see this becoming overly personal. There is no requirement for that.

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 15/09/2011 18:51

Erm when I said you should hang your heads in shame it was a lighthearted comment. I don't see why I should use smilies just because they're there - you should learn to mind read and if you can't mind read then don't comment on my posts!

See? I am perfectly reasonable.

Ok, here is my opinion. I think that if you have an issue with how a poster is behaving. Not a personal issue, but they are posting in a mildly irritating way do you:
a) Send them a private message asking if they could stop behaving in a mildly irritating way?
b) Contact MNHQ to see if they can have a discreet word?
c) Start a thread so that lots of posters come on and name said person?

Thing is. Trillian is the only poster to have been named, although it has been alluded that others are at it and someone has come up with an offensive term for them - TAMPON.
Trillian has taken all of this with good humour.

I agree it is not a witch hunt. But it is bad form to keep going on about Trillian and telling her just how offensive you find her posts. Esp when she is taking all of this slack and not giving any back.

I find it all a bit unfair and I think you should probably all move on and get mildly irritated about something else now. Your point has been made. Several times over.

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 18:56

Trillian, of course I could have made it up feel free ask MNHQ to confirm they sent it to me.

CharlieMcGee · 15/09/2011 18:59

Apart from forwarding it on which would mean me sharing my email address I'm not sure how else to prove it.

Re: (Case 77613) 27417294 - You're not really asking if YABU, are you?

Hi there,

Thanks for that. You are not the only mumsnetter to have noticed this.
We agree that it might be more useful if this poster contacts us rather then post this on a thread.

Best wishes

MNHQ

It was sent at 16.08

TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 19:01

Ah no Rhubarb - TAMPONS is something someone came up with as a jokey way to tell people that they have posted in the wrong place. It's not an insult. I'm not offended

Thread Appropriate Monitors, Promoting Overlooked Non-sexy Sections. Ridiculous huh? (I didn't make it up but I thought it was funny)

It's rarely appropriate though (only on lighthearted threads where the poster clearly knows they are doing it wrong, the "I know this shouldn't be AIBU but.." types) so I've preferred to just go for a more gentle "Did you know we have a XXXXX topic?" approach in most cases.

I do feel sorry for MNHQ with the conflicting request for a new section every week vs the fact that people consistently post "I've put this in AIBU because there's more traffic here"

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2011 19:04

Trillian was the 4th poster on this thread Rubarb0, but you're making it sound like everyone's saying shit behind her back.

Nobody has said anything that Trillian would have to take with good humour, it's just been talking about people posting the 'this isn't in the right section' answers, which she does.

If you have something to say then say it to the poster on the thread is what is advised if you have a problem, so not 'bad form' at all.

TheRhubarb · 15/09/2011 19:09

Whatever Agentcurlywurly. Whatever.

No worries Trill Smile

planetpotty · 15/09/2011 19:15

YANBU

I think the fun thread police came up with the TAMPON thing themselves, I think??

I think in general the manners on MN could be a lot better and a LOT of people are put off by the way some people post. Confronting somone on a thread for where they have posted (if done in the wrong way - abrupt/rude/ganging up) is exactly the kind of thing that has sent my RL friends running a mile from MN. Also stuff gets said like try NetMums (sometimes) in a "well if you aint got the skin of a rhino, you have no place here" kind of way. MN belongs to all of us :)

Let the flaming comence .......

planetpotty · 15/09/2011 19:16

X thread on the TAMPON thing :)

OracleInaCoracle · 15/09/2011 19:19

I think it is extraordinarily rude to just report a post, without posting on the thread. What if its a newbie who doesn't know why their thread has been moved? I know that if I were the op I would want to know. But points taken, and in future I will just report.