to be a dairy-free childminder?

[dairyfreechildminder]

I'm posting this in AIBU because I would like opinions from a broad range of parents. Please don't pull any punches, because I really do want to know what you think.

I'm setting up as a childminder (have registered with Ofsted but not yet started minding children). I would like my home/setting to be a dairy, egg and nut free zone, because my 3 year old DS has severe multiple food allergies and reacts on skin contact to traces of dairy. I want to keep him safe, and also to minimise the risk of having to call an ambulance for him when I have a house full of children who all need looking after.

My food policy says that I will provide all food and drink for children while they are in my care, and that they will receive a carefully balanced diet. I won't be able to take babies, as formula which is based on cow's milk is too much of a risk (e.g. babies being sick on clothes and furniture, as they so often are...)

How would you feel about leaving your child in an environment where dairy was not on offer?

I'd either take the minded children in the ambulance with me (not ideal, but better than sending my child off alone) or would follow in the car, again with the children. Perhaps when your dh meets you at the hospital, one of you can return home with the dc (ideally you) and one remains at the hospital.

I wouldn't expect a cm to not go to hospital with her child and I'd rather you took them with you, than left them with someone I don't know.

I would take them all in the ambulance if the staff were okay with that but I have heard that sometimes taking other children is forbidden.

WoTmania, you're so right!! - there are plenty of ways of getting calcium into children's diets, and yes, I am hoping that some parents of allergic children will be reassured that I know when and how to use an epipen, and when to give piriton etc.

Oat milk isn't "horribly pricey" OP. It's about £1.15 for 1 litre in the supermarket - about the same as soya milk.

It would put me off tbh OP. Just because I think that, especially when out, your own child is going to take up a massive proportion of your time and I would worry about how much supervision/stimulation my child would be getting. All the toddler groups I have been to offer cheese, fruit and crackers at snack time along with cups of milk. A vast amount of food and milk tends to end up on the floor and I doubt you would be able to take your eyes off your child for a second somewhere like that.

I think that specialising in children with allergies is a great idea. I have never heard of a childminder who offers a dairy/nut free environment before and I'm sure there must be a demand for it and that people would be willing to pay more for that service.

I doubt I would use you.

A few hours after school, maybe.

But for a younger child that would be with you all day, every (or most) days then no. Nut free wouldn't bother me, but dairy and egg free would limit their diet unless you could give me an incredibly detailed menu - my girls like pasta, cheese, yoghurts, cereals with milk, cakes and puddings, etc.

(Also bear in mind that paramedics would not be overly happy to take an unaccompanied child in an ambulance.)

I'd use you. Having a dairy/egg/nut free diet wouldn't have put me off for my first (non-allergic) child, and would have been a definite advantage for my second, who has food allergies herself. I certainly don't think that being minded alongside a child with allergies would encourage 'intolerances' in the other children, if anything, the understanding it would give allergies would make it less likely, I'd have thought. And anyway, as soon as they get to school they'll be sitting alongside children with allergies every day in the dinner hall.

My daughters both love pasta, cheese, yoghurts, cereals with milk, cakes and puddings too. The only foods on Sidge's list where the non-allergic one can tell the difference between the 'real' version and the allergy friendly one are cheese and milk, and she actively prefers soya milk.

I would avoid you as a CM.

thanks babybarrister - I'm a regular on the allergy boards and you know me well under another name .

From the responses I have got on this thread, it seems that 'allergy parents' might be v. glad to find a childminder who is aware of the issues and can 'guarantee' (to some extent) a safe environment, but that other parents might (rightly?) be more dubious...

It's been incredibly valuable to get this range of responses. I'm off to post on the allergy boards now...

Trying to think back to when I found a c/m for DD1.

In our area, there are loads of childminders. Narrowing down my shortlist could be due to something as simple as them not including fees on the website - when 40 others c/ms within 5 miles are telling me how much they charge without me needing to call them then the 20 or so who don't are straight out.

So, dairy free, given how many c/m there are to choose from. Yes, I'd probably cross you off.

But there is the flip side
I have been looking for a CM for DS - there were 3 I think that could do drop off/pick up from DS's school.
Two did late starts or early finishes
So that left me with one - who happened to be the Ofsted outstanding
I called her and she is lovely - and had a DD starting the same school at the same time as DS. So all woked out well, but I was certainly not inundted with CMs

With all the people concerned about what the OP would do in an emergency if her son was whisked off in an ambulance - that might be a slightly more likely emergency for her son, but it's a possibility that all childminders have to keep in mind.

If a CM has five kids under eight with them at home during the summer holidays; a baby, two toddlers and two five year olds and one of them falls off the trampoline and cracks their head open - what will the CM do? They call the child's parents if its a minded child but there's no guarantee that a parent will get to the house before the ambulance does. They certainly can't get all the minded childrens' parents there in five minutes. Like the OP and others have said - they can all go in the ambulance, they can take the injured child by themselves while the CM and others follow in a car, or the CM leaves the children being supervised by a neighbour/friend while parents take time to arrive. It's not ideal but in those circumstances really what is? Even if you have a local registered childminder friend who can get there in three minutes, they probably have kids with them already so could go over their permitted numbers. Ofsted don't really care, just like they don't really care if the neighbour has a CRB check or if registers would be completed as the ambulance pulls up - It's a life or death situation and is just an adult watching them for half an hour until their parents can come to pick them up.

OP you sound like you've put a lot of thought and effort into all this, and I wish you luck with your future minding!

I can't believe the nutritional ignorance on display throughout this thread - do you all not realise that most of the world is dairy free? That the countries in the world with the highest rates of osteoporosis are also the countries with the highest per capita consumption of dairy? Dairy is hardly a superfood, is by no means the best dietary form of calcium, and no child in Britain should be at risk of any nutritional deficiency on a dairy-free diet.

Molybdenum, well said!

OP, it sounds like you are really thinking this through and, yes, I'd consider you. Both dc have mild dairy allergies, as do I.

I find it hard to get my head around comments like 'My children like to eat x, y and z foods containing all the ingredients yours can't eat, so you'd be limiting their diets.' Speaking as someone who has to cook around various allergies and manages not to limit their diets either nutritionally or taste-wise, I'm a bit at the idea that a child who can eat anything won't do well trying other things.

Obviously those thoughts of mine are a bit unreasonable and result from years of wishing I could cook with milk and various other ingredients we can't eat. Plain envy, in other words!

Moly, I'd be very happy for my dc to not eat dairy (and dd1 was dairy allergic for her first 3 years). But, like many children, they are fussy about their food so I'd be wary about any additional restrictions on an already painfully narrow diet.

If I had children who would eat anything on offer, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think that may be true for many on this thread.

It would have put me off if I hadn't had a perfectly healthy son who had a milk allergy in his early years and thrived. Sure dairy is the most obvious source of calcium for many, but there are plenty of foods that contain it that aren't dairy.

Thinking back my eldest was more or less vegan (not including breast milk for the first 18 months) until he was four. He HATED meat, and couldn't have dairy. It was probably his most healthy time of his life!

Its your HOME, so YANBU. You're the boss, so YANBU. I guess the proof of the (dairy and nut free) pudding is in the eating. If you get enough children through your doors to make a living, it really doesn't matter what anyone else things - imvho.

Of course it is limiting their diet. My kids can eat everything someone who doesn't eat dairy can eat - plus dairy!

No-one is saying that people who don't eat dairy can't have a fully balanced diet - of course they can. But many parents won't want to unnecessarily cut out a whole food group for no reason when it is their choice and preference to have dairy as part of their kids diet - and that is their right.

I'd be totally fine with it.

As your first priority is your son, it is totally understandable.

If no responsible adult could get to me in time, my son would have to go in the ambulance in his own, and my husband would go straight to the hospital instead

OP, I think you need to rethink your emergency plan. You need to have someone get to you, as I really don't believe any mother could let their child be carried off by ambulance alone, not in the throws of anaphylatic shock!

I wouldn't use you, because I wouldn't like the possibility of you not being there, tbh. And I speak from experience, after my childminder left her charges (my dd inc) with her employees & my then 7mth old was 'lost'. Later found upstairs in the bathroom playing with cleaning products (lids well on, I should add), after she got through the main room gate, through the stair gate at the bottom & the top of the stairs. 3 gates left open, by supposedly trained & qualified adults!! And were only altered to the fact that she wasn't in the room after a friend went to pick up her dd & questioned where dd was!

I guess what I am trying to say is that IME, things always slack off when the boss isn't around & I wouldn't be prepared to get into that situation, knowing that there was the higher risk involved of a possible hospital trip!

Alwaysworthchecking and Molybdenum - but she would be limiting my child's diet. I didn't say it would be nutritionally deficient, I didn't say she wouldn't eat anything else - I said it would limit her if she couldn't be fed foods she LIKES and eats regularly.

For what it's worth DD3 had a dairy intolerance for her first 2.5 years and had no cheese, milk, yoghurts etc. So I am well aware that a child doesn't need dairy. But you can't deny that prohibiting foods containing nuts, eggs and dairy is limiting a child's diet in some way if they are normally used to eating those foods, and unless quality foods are used to replace them.

And I wouldn't want any child of mine to have soya products in replacement.

Yes your house, your children, you're the boss, your rules etc but if you are asking other parents to pay for a service with restrictions then the OP needs to be aware that not all parents are happy with that. (Which the OP has well taken on board but some posters seem to take as a personal affront to those who choose not to have or who can't have dairy...)

Im a nutritionist and wouldnt use you, sorry. Good service for allergy kids though.

I think it's fine. Presumably you're ok with EBF babies who have EBM left for them?

I wouldn't be concerned about your child having an episode and needing to be taken to hospital because as a CM you'd need to have a plan for this happening to ANY child in your care (in the case of accident) so I don't see that as any different.

Good luck :)