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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a dairy-free childminder?

97 replies

dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 17:10

I'm posting this in AIBU because I would like opinions from a broad range of parents. Please don't pull any punches, because I really do want to know what you think.

I'm setting up as a childminder (have registered with Ofsted but not yet started minding children). I would like my home/setting to be a dairy, egg and nut free zone, because my 3 year old DS has severe multiple food allergies and reacts on skin contact to traces of dairy. I want to keep him safe, and also to minimise the risk of having to call an ambulance for him when I have a house full of children who all need looking after.

My food policy says that I will provide all food and drink for children while they are in my care, and that they will receive a carefully balanced diet. I won't be able to take babies, as formula which is based on cow's milk is too much of a risk (e.g. babies being sick on clothes and furniture, as they so often are...)

How would you feel about leaving your child in an environment where dairy was not on offer?

OP posts:

cat64 · 14/09/2011 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

slavetofilofax · 14/09/2011 17:42

I wouldn't use you tbh. I might just for a couple of hours of after school care, but definatly not for a toddler or pre school child.

One of my children was quite fussy, so needs access to as broad a range of food as possible, but even if he didn't, I would be uncomfortable with it.

I think I would also worry about what would happen if your child did need to be taken to hospital.

But I wouldn't use a childminder who was looking after her own child at the same time anyway.

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 14/09/2011 17:46

If he reacts on contact to traces of dairy,egg and nuts how will you cope with the children first thing in the morning? Many children have breakfast at home and the chances are that breakfast will include milk, butter, eggs or nuts (peanut butter, nuts in cereal etc.) When you say no babies, plenty of children still have formula at 2 or older, and those that don't will probably have at least a cup of milk before coming to your house. How will you cope when they spew?

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 14/09/2011 17:49

If you could mind children with allergies then you could actually make your restrictions a selling point - you are used to keeping a nut/egg/dairy free home and in dealing with anaphylaxis.

Petesmum · 14/09/2011 17:51

Does this mean you wouldn't be taking the children out to play groups, soft play etc due to the risks too?
It sounds too complicated for me and I'd worry about my child being ill after breakfast at yours & complications caused in the event of your DC being taken ill.
So overall your services wouldn't be for me, sorry

mustdash · 14/09/2011 17:53

I think if you live in a urban area, you'll have other parents with the same problems beating a path to your door.

I do seem to be in a minority with that view though.

bibbitybobbityhat · 14/09/2011 17:53

I would have chosen a different childminder because I don't want my children on a restrictive diet, but I imagine you would be able to promote your business with the dairy free aspect as a selling point to the parents of children with dairy allergy?

lesstalkmoreaction · 14/09/2011 18:03

You would be able to care for children on a part time basis, ad hoc type of care. I doubt any parent would use you for a full day as you are very restricted by what you can do, no children centres, no toddler groups, no meeting other childminder groups, music groups etc. I doubt many parents would be bothered by the dairy free diet if its for a few hours, but how are you going to cope with children who have eaten porridge for breakfast etc.
You would be able to offer care to other children with similar problems.
What will happen when your ds goes to school, are you planning on home ed or will you have to be on call for the school, as you won't be happy going very far from school for any outings with the mindees.
I would speak to your local childminding group and also the children centre to see if there is a need in the area for specialist care and give ncma a call for advice.

Original poster

dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 18:03

Wow, thank you all for your replies. You lot are quick, and it's great to get such a range of responses.

I'm encouraged that so many of you wouldn't mind, but of course I do totally understand that lots of you would be uncomfortable with it. Thank you so much for giving me your opinions - this is really useful!

I will make some menu plans for parents to see.

I've already thought about the possibility of a child eating yogurt for breakfast and then being sick in my home - and I have replaced all the carpet with vinyl flooring so that it can be wiped clean! Perhaps this will happen one day, but I think it is an 'acceptable' and unavoidable risk that I am able to deal with appropriately.

The thought of an emergency has kept me awake at night, if I'm honest, but I have got a plan. In an emergency situation, childminders are allowed to leave children in the care of a non-registered responsible adult, so my emergency plan is that, if I was able to, I would get a known responsible adult to take care of the children while my husband legged it home from work (20 mins maximum). If no responsible adult could get to me in time, my son would have to go in the ambulance in his own, and my husband would go straight to the hospital instead.

It had not occured to me that parents might think I would blame their chldren for any reactions - of course I wouldn't!! but yes, I can understand that parents might worry about this. Perhaps I need to make it clear to parents that I'm not into blaming people for things...

karmabeliever, yes, i had considered the possibility of taking babies with expressed breastmilk, but I wonder if this would be discriminating against formula-fed babies. Also, it's a lot of pressure on a mum to keep expressing or face finding a different childminder, so I think it's probably safest to just say that I don't take babies (except maybe in short-term situations).

OP posts:

MrsSleepy · 14/09/2011 18:05

Wouldn't faze me in the slightest

Original poster

dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 18:08

I will take children to soft play and toddler groups etc. (I do already take my son to things like this, while remaining very alert!) - I just want to minimise the risks while actually at home.

lesstalkmoreaction, yes, I am planning on home education as it's safer all round, and I love the idea anyway - I might even be able to care for home educated children during the daytime.

I have called NCMA about being dairy free and they were a bit unsure initially but got back to me to say that being dairy-free is technically okay (i.e. not discriminatory).

OP posts:

hester · 14/09/2011 18:09

Would it stop you taking children to parks, playgrounds and toddler groups, OP?

FabbyChic · 14/09/2011 18:20

Could you not offer Soya Milk? Don't drink it myself just curious.

hester · 14/09/2011 18:24

Sorry, x-posted.

pippilongsmurfing · 14/09/2011 18:28

I would be a bit worried that if your child's allergies are so severe that it would impact on your time with your other charges.

Also would worry what if you have to take your child to A&E a lot that I wouldn't want my child sat there all day with you.

So, knowing all that and having the choice between you and AN Other of the same standard, it would be them I'm afraid.

eaglewings · 14/09/2011 18:29

I would have happily sent my kids to your house. I had to provide dairy free food for DS until he was 3 and it would have been ideal.

sparkle12mar08 · 14/09/2011 18:31

I wouldn't use you for all day care, far too much trouble for all the reasons others have stated. But on the other hand, I imagine that if you can promote yourself widely enough you'll have a captive market in parents of children with allergies.

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 14/09/2011 18:33

If you're in a well populated area I would try and sniff out interest from parents with children who have allergies. Parents whose children aren't allergic will use you but parents whose children have allergies would, as another poster said, be beating your door down. You could always put out a few feelers. I'd imagine that there are lots of allergic children turned down by childminders who feel they don't want to take the risk. The promise of dairy/egg/nut free catering and a safe place to play would be appealing.

Does your son react to soy?

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 14/09/2011 18:36

If he doesn't react to dairy free formula (soy) you could take a baby with milk allergy. You could even charge extra. I'd imagine places that a baby wouldn't be at risk of being given/exposed to dairy are like gold dust.

hester · 14/09/2011 18:42

I would have used you for dd1 because she's so fussy you wouldn't be restricting her diet anyway.

I probably wouldn't use you for dd2 because she eats a more varied diet and I would want to keep it that way.

But I would certainly consider you

fedupofnamechanging · 14/09/2011 18:44

Some childminders contact others in the area and make arrangements to be each others back up in case of emergencies. This might be worth considering, if you haven't thought of it already.

I used to CM a baby whose mum brought expressed milk with her. If you are already looking after an older sibling then it might be something to offer so you don't lose out on mindees, rather than offering it generally.

Peachy · 14/09/2011 18:45

Another who ahs allergies adn intolerances in the family so a win here!

Although my babies were on soya too so they'd ahve been fine and tbh I wouldn;t ahve moved them after settling.

breatheslowly · 14/09/2011 18:45

I wouldn't want to send DD to you. I would like her to have a diet including dairy in her childcare setting (when she goes she gets 3 meals per day). For example it would really restrict what she had for breakfast as she wouldn't be getting cereal with milk. Also I wouldn't want her to have things like soya milk in cooking. If she had breakfast before she came to you then it would include milk and I wouldn't be able to guarantee that she hadn't got a bit on her sleeve or in her hair or wouldn't sneeze milky spit all over your DS.

Peachy · 14/09/2011 18:47

(If you did go down teh allergy route it can be worth doing as certainly SN childminders charge extra and you'd be in a similar area)

Mumwithadragontattoo · 14/09/2011 18:50

I agree with the posters who say making a niche for yourself by taking only dairy intolerant kids is the way to go with this rather than taking all kids but not giving dairy. In an urban area this would be a brilliant way to distinguish yourself and there are probably plenty of affected children whose parents would hate for them to be at nursery or regular childminder.

From my point of view I think dairy is important and I don't think I'd use you.

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