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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a dairy-free childminder?

97 replies

dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 17:10

I'm posting this in AIBU because I would like opinions from a broad range of parents. Please don't pull any punches, because I really do want to know what you think.

I'm setting up as a childminder (have registered with Ofsted but not yet started minding children). I would like my home/setting to be a dairy, egg and nut free zone, because my 3 year old DS has severe multiple food allergies and reacts on skin contact to traces of dairy. I want to keep him safe, and also to minimise the risk of having to call an ambulance for him when I have a house full of children who all need looking after.

My food policy says that I will provide all food and drink for children while they are in my care, and that they will receive a carefully balanced diet. I won't be able to take babies, as formula which is based on cow's milk is too much of a risk (e.g. babies being sick on clothes and furniture, as they so often are...)

How would you feel about leaving your child in an environment where dairy was not on offer?

OP posts:
PuspornInBoots · 14/09/2011 18:52

"my son would have to go in the ambulance in his own" Hmm sorry to be rude but Yeah Right! of course he would. That right there would stop me in my tracks from ever using your services I'm afraid. If a prospective CM said that to me, I would instantly react as I did when I read your post and just not believe you. There is NO WAY the mother of a small child, with a life threatening condition, being rushed to hospital by ambulance in an emergency situation, would let that child go alone on the off chance the other parent might be able to make it to the hospital at some point. And just who exactly is the hypothetical "handy responsible adult" you may or may not be able to find to take over in the event of an emergency? Will they be CRB checked? registered with anyone? Will parents with children in your care know their name, address, contact number beforehand or will it be whichever neighbour happens to be passing when (God forbid) the emergency happens?
Just no.

Peachy · 14/09/2011 18:53

I have a friend who is a SN Nanny specialising in autism, her wage is significantly more than she would earn otehrwise. Now that's fair: how many nannies are eduated to MA level in the specific needs of tehir mindeeds- but I imagine the workload of keeping an allergy free household is a similar point; and if it's done for your son well good that there's an upside for it!

I;d start with amrketing for that: posters in the shops near the hospital with teh allergists, in the wholefood shop: could well be on to something.

cece · 14/09/2011 18:54

I would be happy as my DC3 has a dairy free diet anyway. His allergy is only mild but his CM gives him a dairy free diet. She has another dairy free child too. I think there is definitely a market for it.

wigglesrock · 14/09/2011 18:54

I wouldn't have an issue with it if you were minding my child one/two days a week or for the morning/afternoon but to be honest I wouldn't use you if it were a full-time place, Mon-Fri - 8.00am - 5.00pm. I would want my childen to have milk, cheese, peanut butter, eggs etc at some point throughout the week.

Chundle · 14/09/2011 19:01

I think this could work as an allergy placement! That way you could take babies as my baby was on special formula as she was allergic to milk.so many kids have allergies these days there would be mums crying out for this sort of placement. Advertise it well tht it nut and dairy free and see what reaponse you get I bet it's a good one x

Popbiscuit · 14/09/2011 19:02

I wouldn't because I think it would restrict my non-allergic kids' diet and we often have peanut butter and/or milk at breakfast so would be worried that mine would be like little grenades in your home Smile However; if my kids did have allergies I'd be the first one to your door so you may have a niche market there plus your knowledge of medical procedures in case of a reaction would be fantastic! Your proposed policy isn't that far off what schools are doing now anyway. Nuts have been banned for a while and last year they banned eggs in their natural form (ie: hard boiled egg, egg sandwiches) and kids with dairy allergies are separated at lunch time.

Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 19:03

Again, thank you for all your replies.

I'm starting to look for the positives in all this and realising that I could provide a specialist service. I live in a run-down area of a provincial town, and was thinking that local parents might not be willing to pay for a service that didn't include dairy, but I suppose it is true that those with allergic children may be beating a path to my door and coming from miles around Smile

I take all the points about breakfast. It is hard for many people to imagine breakfast without cows milk and yoghurt. Howver, there are lots of different breakfasts that I can do (e.g. toast and fruit, cereal with fortified soya/rice/oat milk, sausage sandwiches, vegan pancakes that children love helping to make themselves). Part of my job will be to explain to parents that I am able to provide a balanced and varied diet despite the restrictions.

OP posts:
MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 14/09/2011 19:11

I'm sure you can, but you're up against other minders who will not restrict diet and you will have to be better than them for it not to be a factor that tips the balance. Also if it were my child I would be paranoid about mine making yours ill and (selfish) what would then happen to mine if yours was ill.

Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 19:12

Pussporninboots bless you for your response Smile - I knew I would have at least one like that! Yes, sadly it is true that my vulnerable little son would have to go in an ambulance on his own. I have thought about this a great deal and the possibility of it happening grieves me more than I know how to say. I want to minimise the chance of it ever happening (hence the food restrictions in my home), but once I have a house full of children I absolutely must treat them all with equal respect, even though one of them happens to be my own son! I have a network of responsible adults who would be known to parents (I am lucky to live in a close community). In any case, in the kind of emergency situation I am trying to avoid, the regulations say that the person who takes charge does not have to be registered by Ofsted.

Again, thank you - I am sure you're not the only parent who feels this way and it's really useful to have your opinion.

OP posts:
allnightlong · 14/09/2011 19:22

On the whole I wouldn't have an issue with it but probably would decide against you because if I were to provide breakfast at home my DC would have to limit what they ate. No milk or yogurt with ceral and possibily muesli. I would be worried about accidently forgetting and causing your DC to react.
I also know (I used to be a nanny to a child with VERY sever food allergies including nuts and milk) that we would also have to be aware of shampoo and other toiletries.
That's a lot of extra hassle. That said for families were allergies are present you would be a great choice but it's a narrow market.

toobreathless · 14/09/2011 19:44

OP: you mention rice milk. Please, please don't give your son (or any child) rice milk. It contains significant amounts of arsenic so isn't recommended for children under four.

The dietician we see (DD has CMP allergy) also strongly discourages it for just about anybody.

foreverondiet · 14/09/2011 19:46

I have mixed thoughts. The lack of dairy I don't think is a problem, my DS2 is 18 months and from 12 months only had milk when he wakes up and at bedtime and is having the required amount.

I'd be more concerned about the other point - what if my child had peanut snack crumbs on his clothes, or sicked his milk, or if your child having a reaction to something and having to be rushed to hospital.

But provided you could explain how this could be managed the lack of dairy wouldn't bother me unless I had to provide the food!!!

Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 19:46

toobreathless, you're right, and I know about the low levels of arsenic in rice milk - it is not recommended as a main drink for children under four but is okay in the odd bit of cereal etc. so long as this isn't every day. I do make occasional rice puddings etc. with rice milk but would not dream of giving it to young children on a regular basis.

OP posts:
Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 19:48

...and there are also concerns about giving young children too much soya because of phyto-oestrogens Sad

OP posts:
rebl · 14/09/2011 19:49

I would use you and I would have tried very hard to have persuaded you to take my ds as a baby as he was and still is allergic to dairy (he was on allergen free formula from the dr). I think that a lot of parents would run a mile but I expect, if you are in a good location, you'll find plenty of parents with children just like your son who would love to have their babies / children in such a place rather than a nursery where the risks are so high.

Niche market I recon!

going · 14/09/2011 19:52

I wouldn't as my children have quite a lot of dairy and eggs in thier diet. However if my child had allergies I would definalty be interested!

toobreathless · 14/09/2011 19:57

I didn't realise that (re: rice milk) the dietician we see is very, very anti rice milk.

I would use you for DD: CMP allergy. However if i had a non allergic child i wouldn't be happy about them being given rice milk over cows milk. As we mentioned rice milk does contain arsenic & for a child who had no reason to require it this seems an unecessary risk IMO.

PizzaEmpress · 14/09/2011 19:58

I'd be glad to send my DC to you, where I know they wouldn't be fed unhealthy cows' milk and eggs. I'm sure you'd give them proper calcium-rich foods.

Inertia · 14/09/2011 20:00

Setting up as an allergy-specialist CM is a good idea, but you would need a very thorough, detailed policy about your emergency plan if any child ( not just your son) were to suffer an allergic reaction and require hospital treatment. Presumably all CMs need this anyway, but you'd be minding children at greater risk of needing medical treatment.

PizzaEmpress · 14/09/2011 20:03

I wouldn't give a child rice milk though. Have you tried Oatly?

HowlingBitch · 14/09/2011 20:11

I'm currently on the lookout for a childminder and I just wanted to say that you come across as a very intelligent, well rounded and caring person. My DS does not have food allergies but you sound like you have a really good attitude and that is what I'm really looking for in a CM.

Your breakfast suggestions sound perfect to me and I'm sure you would be very accommodating with other meals but I'm with others in that you will be a parents dream if they have a child with such allergies.

I really think you should go with it.

CurrySpice · 14/09/2011 20:12

OP it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if your household was non-dairy. I can give my kids milk at home

And tbh you sould lovely, caring, switched on and thoughtful and I'm sure you'll be a great ( and very successful) cm. Good luck with it all!

Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 20:13

PizzaEmpress, yes, I use Oatly far more than rice milk (tbh I have probably only used one carton of rice milk in the last six months). Oat milk is horribly pricey and tastes a bit weird but has the advantage of coming without any arsenic risks!

Inertia, yes, all childminders must have emergency policies. The standard procedure is to call another (previously warned) childminder and wait for her to turn up with all her kids in tow. However, mine is rather different to the one that most childminders download from the NCMA website... as an 'allergy specialist', I know that waiting for another childminder simply isn't practical when the ambulance arrives within four minutes and the child is hooked straight up to the oxygen mask and whisked to A&E. I am planning to have a circular text which goes to all trusted friends who are within 3 mins walk, and also to have an arrangement with neighbours so that they come running if I stand in the front yard and shout "Help!" If all else fails, as I said before, the child will have to go in the ambulance unattended and my husband will meet them at the hospital. I know it sounds grim, but I can't think of another way around it (all suggestions gratefully recieved!!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
dairyfreechildminder · 14/09/2011 20:14

Howlingbitch and Curryspice, thank you!!! Smile Smile Smile

OP posts:
WoTmania · 14/09/2011 20:17

I would have used you. DS1 has nut/fish allergies (anaphylactic), used to also have an egg allergy that still comes up in blood test as an allergy but he eats them with no probs Hmm and is sensitive to dairy so we are a fish/nut free household.
There are lots of ways of getting calcium etc into the diet that don't involve dairy so that woudlnt' be a problem and I'd have the added reassurance of someone who knew how to use epipens if the need ever occurred and took allergies seriosuly.