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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be amused at this joke email?

26 replies

Syd35 · 12/09/2011 21:04

DH forwarded a "joke" email to me that one of his colleagues had sent to him.

It has a picture of a woman on it wearing a t-shirt with the wording WIFE - Wash Iron F**k Etc.

I laughed out loud to start with then I thought it was a bit out of order. AIBU to go in a huff with hubby for sending this to me or do I need to lighten up?

OP posts:
BatsUpMeNightie · 12/09/2011 21:05

You need to lighten up. Your taking the huff at this kind of thing won't change anything. Just see it for the anal gravy that it is and be done with it.

FabbyChic · 12/09/2011 21:05

Lighten up, he got it from someone else, he didn't source it to send to you.

PontyMython · 12/09/2011 21:06

I think it would be incredibly hypocritical if you had a go at him given that you initially laughed!

Eglu · 12/09/2011 21:06

You said yourself that you laughed out loud at first, so you can't really then take the huff.

yellowraincoat · 12/09/2011 21:08

I wouldn't laugh at that in the first place, and would def be pissed off at my partner if he sent it to me.

But you did laugh, so think it would be unreasonable to get huffy.

AMumInScotland · 12/09/2011 21:09

What ponty said - if your first reaction was to laugh, and you only felt insulted when you stopped and thought about it, why do you expect more PC-ness from your DH?

LoremIpsum · 12/09/2011 21:10

Seriously? That's a horrible fucking email and I'd think less of anyone who sent it to me, but horrified if DH did.

YANBU unreasonable to not be amused, starting to laugh before the real meaning sank in doesn't mean anything.

Proudnscary · 12/09/2011 21:13

I don't think it's funny, but that's because I just, well, don't think it's funny - not because I am so easily offended and fragile that I would actually be threatened by such yawnsome 'humour'.

RubyrooUK · 12/09/2011 21:14

I would find that email especially funny if my husband sent it to me. After all, he knows I don't do washing stuff or ironing by now. Grin

Andrewofgg · 12/09/2011 21:17

It's the first reaction that counts!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 12/09/2011 23:21

Rubbish. If you bit into a delicious piece of food then puked your guts out, would it be the 'first reaction that counts'?

I think if you feel dodgy about it, tell him so and tell him you laughed first but now feel pissed off. It's only fair to tell him your whole reaction because it's part of the point.

FWIW, I think we all laugh at things we know aren't really funny deep down - it's a very human response, isn't it? But thank god we also think about things and decide what we think is ok to laugh about, or we'd still be taking the kids out of a Sunday for a good laugh at the local mental asylum and a hanging, wouldn't we?

Andrewofgg · 13/09/2011 06:53

We wouldn't even laugh at a public hanging these days. That's the difference.

If you enjoy the food then puke, sure you change your mind, but you still found it tasty when you bit into it - and that is the first reaction.

Whatmeworry · 13/09/2011 07:08

Leave him...... :o

HengshanRoad · 13/09/2011 10:16

Awful. It's a sad state of affairs when a woman has to suck it up and laugh at something discriminatory so as not to come over as a bad sport.

Would a gay person be obliged to laugh at an openly homophobic Tshirt?

Would a black person feel is necessary to find humour in a racist one?

Women's rights are no less important, and I find it worrying that we're inculcated to laugh at things like this just so we don't spoil men's fun.

InTheNightKitchen · 13/09/2011 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 13/09/2011 10:24

Hardly worth getting in a huff over.. either ignore it, or send a witty put down back to him...

If you dont know your husband well enough to know that it is a joke, and not a reflection of his thoughts and behaviour towards you in real life, then there is a problem.

Scholes34 · 13/09/2011 10:29

You only need get in a huff if you think that's how your DH views.

Trailer for last week's News Quiz on Radio 4 - "For Sale, set of brand new encyclopaedias. Excellent condition. No longer needed: Just got married, wife knows everything." Now that is funny.

PissesGlitter · 13/09/2011 10:33

lighten up, it was a joke

mousymouse · 13/09/2011 10:38

that's not a joke, that is just so wrong.
I wouldn't be happy with that and would tell my dh as well.

Scholes34 · 13/09/2011 10:42

The fact that Syd35's DH sent the e-mail to her means he thought it was the kind of thing she'd find funny. If she doesn't, she needs to tell him, as he probably doesn't know her as well as he thinks or should.

TeddyBare · 13/09/2011 11:10

I'd be horrified if anyone sent it to me. I think it's offensive. YANBU to speak to him about it, but YABU to speak huffily because that undermines what you say.

michelleseashell · 13/09/2011 11:31

It's not particularly clever but I would just delete it and not ever give it a second thought. The same as the unfunny joke emails I get from women declaring that men are like wine and should be trodden on and put in a cellar to mature. It's just boring comedy sexism. No one is seriously suggesting that women be put in a room with only the ironing and a dick for company or that men should be bottled and kept underground.

nethunsreject · 13/09/2011 11:33

I would be really pissed off by that tbh.
I wouldn't have laughed.

Delete it and have a word.

ineedabodytransplant · 13/09/2011 13:23

FFS it's a joke!!

Bit like the ones about brides getting married in white to match the rest of the kitchen appliances, wives having small feet to help them get closer to the sink for washing up.

Unless the OPs OH actually believes in this then have a laugh.

Us blokes have to listen to jokes about us. I for one don't mind. Life's too short as it is

Quenelle · 13/09/2011 13:23

Don't get in a huff about it but certainly tell your DH you didn't think it was funny.

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