For talking at a children's party?

[Dancergirl]

Dd3 went to a party today, the birthday girl turned 4 and most of the children were around the same age so most mums stayed (including me). It was in a small hall with an entertainer.

Most of the children were sitting on the floor in the middle and the mums sitting on chairs round the edge, the usual sort of thing. I was chatting to a couple of mums I know well, catching up after the summer etc. There was an older lady sitting next to my friend and at one point I thought she said 'shhh'. Anyway we didn't pay much attention. Then a while later I was in the middle of saying something to my friend when this lady turned to me and said, quite forthrightly, 'it you want to talk loudly why don't you go outside'....!

We were so gobsmacked we sat practically in silence after that. Now I know it's a annoying when people are talking in the cinema, theatre etc and I would never do that..but a children's party?? And I really don't understand what we were stopping her from hearing - the entertainer was v loud.

AIBU?

what's the score with "whole class parties" seriously, this is a minefield for me. DD only started school last week so got away with just inviting her small group of nursery mates but will I have to do the whole class next year??!

Really don't want to, would prefer to keep numbers at around 10ish, it's manageable we can have the party at home in te garden, don't have to re mortgage to pay for a play centre/chill factore/jo jingles/ etc.etc. Also as she's in a class of 30 it means it would be horrible to the ones who aren't invited as it really will only be close mates, at least half of them won't be going!

I have a colleague who invited everyone bar 2 children to his sons 6th ecause of these kids behavioural problems, and I thought that was a bit mean.

wouldn't be horrible I mean!

minx That is mean of your colleague. I have a rule that you invite less than half of the class or you invite them all. Otherwise there are too many hurt feelings.

On the other hand I do have a tendency to do big parties because I love them. Particularly when my children are in the first couple of years of school, because children do tend to play with most of the class at that age, and are less likely to have special friends, and because parties are a good way of making friends (for me as well as for the children).

Just to add another YABU. I wouldn't ignore other parents in your situation but I would make sure I talked quietly or outside. I wouldn't necessarily watch the performance but I think ot's polite to at least be reasonably quiet. There would be gaps in the music and adults bellowing and guffawing during these would be really off putting for everyone.

You don't have to minx. Just invite who your DCs wants-what other parents do is up to them. (inviting them all bar a few is plain mean-if you never have more than 10 then you don't get the problem)

"less than half the class, or all the class", has always been my rule of thumb as well. Unfortunately (for my sanity and bank balance) I am a sucker for big parties as well - after all, this phase don't last long - by 8 or 9 they mostly want to do outings or something special with a couple of friends anyway - so it will be 20-ish DC for DD's 5th birthday.

Minx We only ever had at most 10 -12 people at the DC's parties - all held at home until they were at least around year 4 or 5.

Don't worry about it - you'll probably find the other parents secretly thank you for not going for the whole class option.

Another vote for less than half or all. This was exactly my rule for my son't last party (5th). I went the less than half route in the end because I had loads of non school friends we wanted to invite but also there was a particular boy my son didn't want there because he found him overly aggressive and he made him nervous so in order to not have to invite the scary boy we cherry picked a few particular friends

Minx, I would agree with parents thanking you.... we really value our family time together at weekends and not taken up by party after party after party... I'm quite relieved when people choose not to have whole class parties. And I think I'm quite normal so the assumption that people will be offended is just a big myth!

Embrace the smaller party I say!