Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For talking at a children's party?

84 replies

Dancergirl · 11/09/2011 22:41

Dd3 went to a party today, the birthday girl turned 4 and most of the children were around the same age so most mums stayed (including me). It was in a small hall with an entertainer.

Most of the children were sitting on the floor in the middle and the mums sitting on chairs round the edge, the usual sort of thing. I was chatting to a couple of mums I know well, catching up after the summer etc. There was an older lady sitting next to my friend and at one point I thought she said 'shhh'. Anyway we didn't pay much attention. Then a while later I was in the middle of saying something to my friend when this lady turned to me and said, quite forthrightly, 'it you want to talk loudly why don't you go outside'....!

We were so gobsmacked we sat practically in silence after that. Now I know it's a annoying when people are talking in the cinema, theatre etc and I would never do that..but a children's party?? And I really don't understand what we were stopping her from hearing - the entertainer was v loud.

AIBU?

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 12/09/2011 12:45

irritated... gah, is that right now? Argh spelling confidence crisis!!

VikingBlood · 12/09/2011 12:49

Tut tut AldiWhore, now you must copy out "irritate" twenty times in your jotter.

VikingBlood · 12/09/2011 12:50

AldiWhore even, not AldiWhore .

dobbybono · 12/09/2011 21:53

can someone tell me what yabu means,it's driving me bonkers!

aldiwhore · 12/09/2011 21:55

Done that vikingblood but now it looks even more wrong (er-er-er), more wrongerer? Not as correct as it should.

5Foot5 · 12/09/2011 22:02

Maybe it wasn't so much the volume that bothered her as much as the fact that if you were talking constantly, even quietly, then it was obvious that you weren't paying attention to the entertainer. And even though he was there to entertain the kids not the parents she could have felt that you were being rude by so obviously not listening to him.

aldiwhore · 12/09/2011 22:07

With all due respect to those in the profession... my preference is to stick pins in my eyes rather than sit through a performance. YET another reason I still smoke... at least I can nip outside for oh, 30 minutes, until they're done.

Its not a slight on the skills of the entertainer, but I'm an adult not a child and its just not my thing... though I will say, I'd sit very far back in the venue so as not to disturb the poor children. Wink

zippy539 · 12/09/2011 22:16

YABU = You are being unreasonable
YANBU = You are NOT being unreasonable.

:)

Bubbaluv · 13/09/2011 00:50

I have never been to a party where the parents were expected to pay attention to the children's performer. These parties you're all going to sound extrordinarily dull! At the parties my kids go to/throw there is as much noise from the adults as there would be at any other social occassion (everyone talking, laughing, mingling etc) - the kids are entertained by the entertainer which all the parents completely ignore (hallelujah) and it simply isn't a problem. It's a party FGS!

stealthsquiggle · 13/09/2011 01:14

I loathe almost all party entertainers - and particularly ones who get all narky with parents for talking - DD went to one party where the entertainer was postively scarily fierce with parents.

OTOH, gossiping parents are always a PITA when you are trying to keep DCs attention at a party - I have had 25 DC silent and waiting for instructions, with 10 mothers still chatting loudly in the background - it's just not fair on the DC or me.

[conflicted]

KittyFane · 13/09/2011 07:05

OP has flounced a bit at being told YABU. How strange. But I'll keep quiet in future. Thanks all.

You are in the same room as entertainer, you are all chatting away - so, whether or not you find it strange, it is distracting.
Oh, and rude.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 07:07

I am very thankful that the only party where I had an entertainer I sent the parents off. I think it is very rude of adults to just think that DCs don't matter and you can talk across them. If you had an adult entertainer and you couldn't hear for the DCs people would get narky.
I think that DCs entertainers need to be scarily fierce with the parents and get them silent first. The party is for the DC-they should go and gossip outside if that is what they have come for.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 07:08

I hate the way that it is OK for adults to be rude because 'it is only a DC'.

minxofmancunia · 13/09/2011 07:25

It's annoying having parents there at all. Just had dds 5th birthday party, admittedly only 10 children but made it clear it was drop and run and managed to deter any hoverers. My parents came to help so 4 adults with 11 dc. Absolutely fine...LOADS less hassle. DH couldn't believe how different (easy) it was without parents there.

I'm hoping I've set a precedent as I don't fancy spending 3/4 of my weekends hanging round at parties making small talk with other parents.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 07:40

Exactly minx-after5yrs I got rid of them-you can then get on with the purpose of the party!

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/09/2011 08:36

You say that minx but we have NO family help at parties, it's just me and dh, so a couple of extra pairs of hands is good for us....

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 08:44

I roped in friends-but they were there to work!

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 13/09/2011 08:46

Agree Dancer - not everyone has parents or family they can call on to help. Our friends are our family, and as such we rely on them for additional (v occasional) help.

Bubbaluv · 13/09/2011 08:49

Wow I'm now very glad we left the UK before our DCs were old enough for parties. They sound very regimented!

exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 08:59

They have got dire Bubbaluv-huge affairs with the whole class, whether they are a friend or not, and parents expecting to hang around and get in the way!

Bubbaluv · 13/09/2011 09:09

I don't mind parents hanging about ( I would expect it when the little ones are as young as the ones in this OP) but I would expect them to be part of the party not sidelined chaperones. Kids still have a great time while the parents all get to know one another and enjoy a glass of wine.
If the children are young enough to need parents in attendence then an appropriate venue should be choosen where EVERYONE can have a good time.
I understand when children get older and parents are not needed then it's all about the DCs, but when the parents are there they should be as much part of the celebration as anyone IMO. Otherwise it must be awful for the host parents I would have thought - having (adult) friends hanging about like spare dogs and keeping quiet so as not to disturb the delicate sensibilities of the preschoolers! Hmm

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/09/2011 09:12

exoticfruits - now you see I've never done a whole class party, I think that's a really silly idea. Invite a load of kids your child doesn't even play with/like just because there's a small outside chance you might 'offend' someone....? Madness. And too many presents!

OP posts:
DrunkenDaisy · 13/09/2011 09:30

Maybe the granny had special needs and was realy getting into the show.

Personally I think YANBU for talking. I can't stand shows like that - had to sufffer enough of them as a kid let alone be put through them again as an adult.

Waltons · 13/09/2011 09:30

OP, there is another explanation for this. The entertainer was quite loud and therefore you and the other mums must have been talking quite loudly to be able to hear each other over that. If the "older lady" as you describe her was wearing hearing aids that can be a very painful combination.

The only solution for the older lady would be to turn her hearing aids right down, leaving her unable to hear the entertainment, so YABU.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/09/2011 09:42

We're really getting creative now....special needs, hearing aids etc... lol Smile

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread