For talking at a children's party?

[Dancergirl]

Dd3 went to a party today, the birthday girl turned 4 and most of the children were around the same age so most mums stayed (including me). It was in a small hall with an entertainer.

Most of the children were sitting on the floor in the middle and the mums sitting on chairs round the edge, the usual sort of thing. I was chatting to a couple of mums I know well, catching up after the summer etc. There was an older lady sitting next to my friend and at one point I thought she said 'shhh'. Anyway we didn't pay much attention. Then a while later I was in the middle of saying something to my friend when this lady turned to me and said, quite forthrightly, 'it you want to talk loudly why don't you go outside'....!

We were so gobsmacked we sat practically in silence after that. Now I know it's a annoying when people are talking in the cinema, theatre etc and I would never do that..but a children's party?? And I really don't understand what we were stopping her from hearing - the entertainer was v loud.

AIBU?

Unless you were being very loud YANBU. Some people (more often older people) just love to have a moan without any good reason. I think some people just have an incredibly low tolerance for any kind of noise or disturbance, and it's becoming the norm that we should all sit in silence in public places - well, I think that's a load of crap. You are allowed to talk. Don't put up with the moaners, stand up to them and tell them to go elsewhere if they don't like it. Why should you have to listen to it?

And if I hear that "sense of entitlement" slogan one more time I think I'm going to puke.

This is a problem at one of the baby & toddler groups I go. DS has hearing problems. I certainly find it hard to listen with him to the story/songs when people are chattering over it, so I imagine he finds it even more difficult.

In 13 years of going to kids' parties, I don't think I've ever been to one where parents sat silently listening to the entertainment. Of course if you were being so loud that people couldn't hear the entertainer then I can understand it, but from what you've said you were just talking normally.

There's an entertainer local to me who uses a water pistol to shower the parents if they talk during his show! You only do it once

YABU

Oh bit of an X post now!

YABU. Treat the entertainer and the children with respect as you would (I hope) at a theatre with a mainly adult audience and shut the fuck up!

If the OP isn't prepared to argue the toss with us, I think we owe it to the spirit of AIBU to argue amongst ourselves.

There's no way she was being unreasonable. Talking isn't against the law, you know. The entertainer should have got a louder mike.

Haven't read all the other posts, but I only pay an entertainer so my adult guests get a chance to talk to each other and enjoy a glass of wine - as far as I'm concerned that's the whole point. So YANBU.

YABU. It is hell trying to entertain DCs with adults who won't keep quiet.
One of my reasons for having small parties and getting the parents to drop and pick up at the end. They can gossip on the doorstep-out of the way!

People really vary in how easily they get distracted by background noise. You probably have a high tolerance for it, OP. I don't and, for example, I find open-plan working really tough. However my lifeblood is draining from this post because you're being so damn reasonable...

Hahahaha at Hassled trying to hold the flame of aibu aloft.

What I don't get is why so many mums stayed... I'd be grasping the opp to go for a nice coffee and a read of the papers on my own .. bad mum alert lol

YANBU, I think if you where too loud the entertainer would have hushed you himself.

The trick is to get an entertainer so young and devastatingly handsome that all the mothers sit in a long row staring with their tongues hanging out like I did,

could you have talked more quietly?

Yabu for being so reasonable when told you yabu

I'm always taken aback by the way some parents think it's OK to natter in these situations - I've seen it happen at school plays and prize ceremonies and it used to drive me nuts when people chatted away whilst someone was trying to lead singing at todder group.

So YABU.

But you've accepted that already so my post is rather redundant

Have just come back to the post!

In my defence, bartletforamerica and jenai - there is a huge difference between school plays/prizegivings/toddler groups etc and childrens parties. I wouldn't dream of talking at any of these events and people who do annoy me.

For the record, our chatting wasn't disturbing the entertainment at all. The entertainer wasn't of the quiet magic show type where all the children sit quietly and listen - he was the loud, shouty, lots of loud music type with children dancing/laughing/making noise. It would have been impossible to hear us chatting in the middle of the hall.

Personally as a host of many, many hall/entertainer parties, it wouldn't have occured to me to be bothered by mums chatting, it just seem normal to me. When children are small it's taken for granted that mums stay and they're my guests too as well as the children and I make them feel welcome and provide food and nibbles for the adults who stay. And I'm often extremely grateful to mums that stay as they often kindly help out with the food/clearing away afterwards, taking children to the toilet etc. It seems peculiar to me to set a condition that they can only stay if they are quiet!

But anyway I will be v careful in future!

They are now getting to the age where you can banish the parents-problem solved.

It depends on how loud you were really. But I suppose the key thing is that someone else was being disturbed by it to the extent of asking you to be quiet. Probably appropriate in those circumstances to simply say a quick "sorry" and go outside to talk.

When I was on maternity leave I used to go to a very popular local baby class - it was an entertainer who sang and did interactive games with the older babies and had bubbles and things to touch and play with for the younger ones. Best baby class I have ever been to - it was always oversubscribed. The class was cancelled because the entertainer had apparently complained to the organisers several times about parents chatting through the class. Eventually the entertainer refused to do the class anymore. She was from an agency that also declined to send a replacement so I guess it must have been pretty distracting. I did notice it myself but I didn't know it was an onging problem.

As a teacher, I can confirm that adults are a zillion times worse than kids when it comes to being quiet/paying attention. In assembly you don't get a peep fromt he kids, during the meetings wher the teachers have to listen to the head we natter away, as do parents during school plays etc.

Yes, a teacher, even with all those typos.

Nothing wrong with using a kid's party to catch up with friends. I do it and enjoy it.

BUT if you were a little loud, then you're into U territory.

vikingblood very true... guilty as charged, and also irriatated when I'm the one who's wanting everyone's full attention!!