To miss my 'friend'

[parentfailure]

Slight background: Good friend, been through thick and thin. Been more of a friend to her than she to me (in making sure we see each other, driving to see her etc., making the effort etc)

A few weeks ago, after a VERY innocuous comment on FB (our main way of staying in touch), she deleted her friendship with me, then her whole account (which she has now reinstated).

And, that's it. Nearly a decade friendship totally deleted.

I miss her. I miss her friendship.

I apologised for any misunderstanding over the comment I made, told her that i do / did appreciate her friendship... Nothing.

I have to accept that she simply does not wish to be friends with me anymore. But she has been through some of my darkest days and my brightest moments (including my marriage and birth of children).

I know she was upset I couldn't make her wedding (in Europe, on a tuesday and no children allowed - I have two toddlers!) but I thought she had understood and I did buy her a very special and lovely present and took her out to dinner to celebrate.

I just want to 'let go' but still feel I would love to hear from her and love to know how stuff is with her. We always had such great chats.

I have tried to contact her once, through a mutual friend, but got a 'hi' back - but certainly no opening for further conversation, so I know I have to let it go.

I just feel sad that someone I thought was such a good friend could turn like that.

Come on Hully, would explain while you agree with burning down people's homes and private businesses, risking their lives, for political reasons?

I totally agree it was a stupid thing to say and I'm not saying the OP has to agree with her, I'm just saying it's not worth losing a friendship over. I've had the FB slapdown before (not for a comment like this, but other more personal things) and it has really put me off some people. I would never say to someone at a party "I don't think you really mean that" in front of all our friends as it would put them in a very awkward position, forcing them to defend themselves in front of everyone. A critical comment like that is only suitable in private. Why people think they can get away with being rude on FB when they wouldn't do the same in real life is beyond me. Yes people come out with stupid comments but if it's a friend that does it you protect them by laughing awkwardly and changing the subject, you don't draw attention to their idiocy.

If you've got no stake in society, you have no reason to abide by its rules.

In essence.

And er, it's not an AGREEMENT, it's an UNDERSTANDING. A crucial difference.

Beer - it's happening Right Now. NHS reform act passed this week. Free schools up and running this week. Planned dismantlement of planning laws. etc etc etc

Well surely if you make a comment like that on a public forum you will have responses that disagree with you. Some people will not keep it to themselves. By making that comment they have already put themselves up for criticism. I know that if one of my friends had done it I would have, and I have done similar about a nasty comment regarding Amy Winehouse that my friend had put on FB, she took my critiscm quite well and we are still friends. If you dish it out, you have to take it too.

Yes I would have challenged my friend in real life, I am a real gobshite

I love a good discussion. If someone was racist,sexist,etc would you not challenge them for fear of upsetting them

I wish

65 years of intended kindness.

Not much to be proud of in our millenia of existence, huh?

I see people put the most pathetic and stupid statements on fb but it's not my place to put stuff on their pages (most of the time anyway! ) as what is the point? If they are close friends I would discuss things with them privately etc but not necessarily challenge them on fb

parentfailure, the thing is that even if she contacted you tonight and wanted to be friends again it would be very difficult wouldn't it? you can't trust her now, because she's done something so completely out of the blue that you wouldn't ever know when she'd just do it again. you would be just as vulnerable to it because her reasoning isn't clear.

awfully sad, but now she's gone maybe you'll realise that she really wasn't that good a friend after all.

And they neve put it back

Never renationalise

When it's gone, it's gone

WAKE UP PEOPLE! Seriously, the NHS is going.

The op comment on FB was not bad at all, if this person was my friend and she put that status up, she would end up with a whole essay, and a telephone call from me to reiterate my point

Um, Beer, I do know that BECAUSE AS I SAID IT HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK

Beer, they passed the NHS Act

The free schools have opened

That's some blip

They never have yet

"Riots" have changed many things, ask the Civil Rights Movement just for one

Beer - useful stuff here

Gotta go, but as Beer said, see, people can disagree, and still love each other