Aibu to think it hasnt been mislaid it's been stolen?

[iMemoo]

Dd went round to her friends house last weekend and whilst she was there she put her phone down on their table. When she came to get it the phone had gone. Apparently the parents have looked everywhere and can't find it. A week later they still haven't found it.

What would you think? Without going into too much detail this family have had plenty of involvement with the police. They also have teenage son who has been in trouble.

On Tuesday the friends mum gave my dd an old phone of hers to use until hers "turns up".

Aibu to think somebody has stolen the phone?

And do I go round and challenge them about it?

I'm very aware that despite everything I have no evidence at all that they have taken it.

YANBU to think that privately, but you would BU to let your daughter know your thoughts or to go round and confront them, on no evidence.

In a busy household things get moved around and turn up later. Make sure your daughter learns the lesson of being careful where she puts precious things.

You are right of course. I have told dd that it's basically her own fault and she needs to look after her things properly.

I would probably not go round and challenge them about it, you have no actual proof that it's been stolen and it would cause trouble between your DD and her friend. I would put it down to experience and make sure your DD knows not to leave her possessions lying around in other people's houses in future. I agree that it looks a bit suspicious but I don't think that confronting the family would get the phone back.

Isn't the first thing you do when you've mislaid a phone to ring it & follow the rings, works for me every time

I would let them know that as it hasn't turned up you are going to ask the network provider to put a block on the phone (which will render it useless on all UK networks) If it then "turns up" great, if not I would block it anyway, so that if it was stolen the thief doesn't benefit from their ill-gotten gains.

Ooh did the ring turn up then? She was adamant they had looked everywhere!

Is she sure she left it there? Could she be exaggerating her 'sureness' to cover the fact she's lost it?

I'm just asking because last year dneice "left" her new ipod at our house. It has never turned up (dh and I are not yet at the stage where we have to nick the elecronic goods we want and as dc were 4 and 2 at the time I'm sure they've not made away with it).

We've searched and searched and in 12 months it has never shown up (we do not live in Buckingham Palace so it would be quite hard to put something somewhere where it wasn't come across within a couple of weeks, even if the kids have taken it off to be played with). My conclusion is that it was never here and I have to grit my teeth when BiL asks 'if we'd found it yet?'

TBH yes it could have been taken but be absolutely positive before you accuse someone.

I'm surprised you haven't had it stopped. I'm assuming she rang it as soon as she realised it was missing or was it out of charge?

It is either not where she said she left it or has been swept up with other things or has dropped down somewhere. Or swiped. Whatever, it needs to be blocked.

well, did she ring it as soon as it was missed, or not?

This is horrible,i remember when ds was young he had a friend here and some money went missing,we knew it had to him but couldnt do anything really.As it happened he told another boy who told ds but there was still little we could do.
I hope you stopped it,dh had his phone stolen a few weeks ago,we didnt notice untill 3 hrs by which time some total bastard had rang ghana 6 times costing us 112 pounds

just let them know they may be contacted by the police shortly as you need to report it for insurance purposes. Hopefully you have blocked and immobilised it so that it is useless

also, do you have online contract where you can see if it is being used

It would be the fact that they handed over and old phone to your DD that would make me suspicious, moreso then if they hadn't done anything. Not sure quite why, it just "strikes me as odd" somehow. I wonder if you were to call the police, the friend would say "oh but we swopped, DD wanted that phone cos she liked it better than hers"... Was DDs a particularly desirable phone? I know some are much "cooler" than others and much more costly.

Sorry I disappeared!

We have blocked it now and we checked we t-mobile and it was last used in the day she lost it. We did try ringing but it just went straight to voice mail.

I guess there is a chance that she left it somewhere else.

I'm so frustrated with the whole thing.

Her next phone is going to be a cheap £10 one!

Rowan, that's what's making me suspicious too.

The phone her friends mum has given her is a cheap one. Dd's was quite an expensive one that she got for her birthday.

did she phone it as soon as it was noticed to be missing?

or after leaving it long enough for the battery to go down or the SIM to be changed?

Can you tell the family that you are going to try and claim for it on your insurance (our house insurance covers possessions including phones up to a certain value) but that to do so you have to report the loss to the police so you have a police reference number.

She didn't phone it straight away. Tbh at first I thought nothing of it. I thought it would turn up and her friend would bring it round.

It's a really good idea to mention insurance and police. It might suddenly turn up then.

shame

When I've put my phone down somewhere and can't find it, I always ring it straight away and follow the noise.

how much was the phone?my son lost his 2 weeks ago,came out of his pocket at the park,we rang & rang it and then someone was cutting the calls off,we had it blocked so its no good to anyone,did bother claiming as i would have to pay a fair whack on the excess and would put monthly payments up :(

My daughter's phone (another saga and a half...) IS insured so if this happened to us I actually would have to tell the other family that (a) I needed to give their address as the place where it disappeared and (b) make a report to the police, in order to claim!

So it's a credible narrative if you want to try it. But you need to make that sure that the family's son hears it, too. He could have it stashed under his bed on 'silent' and the parents might not actually know about it.

Or, your daughter could have it in the same condition at the bottom of a pit of a bag....

Oh, the endless larfs I have had with my daughter's phone.

Can you leave a message with the family asking if they could have one last look for the phone as if it is really 'lost' you need to inform insurance/police etc and have a statement off them.

It just may frighten them into giving it back but as you say they have 'form' it may not.... just a long shot

The phone company can tell which SIM card is now being used with it. The handset has an ID number as well as the SIM, and both are registered when a call is made. Might be worth asking - I'm not sure whether they have that information to hand for customers, but I know they give it to the police.