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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that I am the only REAL full time working mum???

96 replies

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 11:40

I don't mean that in a weird, competitive way.

All my 'full time working' mum friends don't actually work full time I've discovered over the years.

For eg some 'work from home' on Fridays or have every other Friday off, some have all the school holidays off, some have one or two early finish days to do school pick ups.

I am literally the ONLY one who works Mon - Fri.

I have a fab job and earn big bucks - but I'm wondering have I done something wrong when first negotiating terms? Should I have insisted on building in extra holiday or days work from home?

Actually my life balances out well and I don't feel myself or my dc have missed out. I work near-ish home so have 2 hours in morn, 3 in evening with them and always go to plays/assemblies...but god how I would have loved to have had summer hols off with them.

OP posts:

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:35

And where are all the REAL working dads? Mmmm. What do they sound like

Original poster

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:38

Lola - weird, competitive AND guilt ridden now. sigh.

I am a fan of all women and all choices. Everyone in my office is female and I am dead good about flexible working (i'm the boss - is that showing off again? if so add to above list) and time off for school stuff etc etc

OP posts:

Original poster

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:39

And I don't want or expect a respectful hearing if people don't think it's worthy of respect. For reals.

OP posts:

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:41

PS, this is an inflammatory subject. Please treat with due respect, otherwise you are going to get quite alot of poo flung your way. The subject effects so many women and your statements and high handed dismissal of others does not help. Now either you want a sensible discussion/chat or you don't. A big row does not inform anyone. So why don't you cool your jets and say what is really going on? And I think it is simply wonderful you are the boss.

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:46

PS you are so contradicted in all that you say.

MrsPlesWearsAFez · 09/09/2011 13:47

Has someone alerted the Guinness Book of World Records?

notlettingthefearshow · 09/09/2011 13:49

There are a lot of women who work part time - depends on many factors such as your profession and how flexible it is. Many mothers work full time purely for financial reasons, so you are lucky that you also enjoy your job.

It sounds like you are happy with your situation, and as long as your friends are happy with theirs, I can't see any problem.

Idefixx · 09/09/2011 13:56

Sorry - YABU

You see the kids 2 hours in the morning and three hours at night? Unless they stay up until midnight, you are not working "full time" either (though you may be in an office Mon-Fri).

I leave the house at 7:30am and get back at 7:30pm. Kids go to bed at 7:45pm and then I do some more work - from home...

Not complaining, my choice. But please spare me the "others are not working as much as I do" moan.
There will always be someone who is better off and someone who is worse off than you.

whatkatydidathome · 09/09/2011 13:58

in my industry it's wink, wink 'work from home' but what is your industry and how do you know that everyone in your industry effectively defrauds their employer by pretending to work from home?

Bearskinwoolies · 09/09/2011 14:03

Sorry but YABU - I would love to work from home, but my work involves heavy and dangerous machinery - Monday to Saturday - at very unsocial hours. Unless one of my dcs is unwell and off school I see them for a maximum of 2 hours a day apart from Sundays.

Original poster

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 14:05

My name is Proudnscary and I have been UNREASONABLE.

OP posts:

Peachy · 09/09/2011 14:07

Original poster

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 14:44

Lola - because when you have attempted to explain yourself and clear up misunderstandings many times and are getting flames like a fucker you kinda realise it's best to have a laugh and back out graciously (ish).
BUT I didn't contradict myself!

OP posts:

GeorgeEliot · 10/09/2011 10:31

I would question how much time the OP spends working 'at work'. Because from what I've observed, she spent a lot of time on MN yesterday, which was a working day, was it not?
And I expect that when she wasn't actively posting, she was thinking about this thread and what she was going to say, and therefore not giving her employer her full attention.
I do not work full time, I work a 4-day week, occasionally from home, but when I am working I am giving my employer 100% of my attention. And on the days I'm not working, I'm always available to them by phone or email too.

ChippingIn · 10/09/2011 10:44

proudnscary - you post an awful lot in the day in the week for someone who is ''working'', though it does seem more part time than full time (or your kids never sleep).

What do you do?

If you are the boss, as you say, then surely you can work when it suits you - if not, then you are not the boss and merely one of the management team.

RosemaryandThyme · 10/09/2011 11:03

Are you missing your children ? Are they missing you ?

EcoLady · 10/09/2011 11:16

Horses for courses. What suits one does not suit another ... and may not suit the one in the future. There's no need for anyone to be competitive, upset or offended.

I worked Mon-Fri 9-5 from when each of mine was 6 months old. So what? My choice. I enjoyed my job.

My situation is now changing, as I've just started teacher training. I'll end up doing far more hours during term-time, but will get longer off in Summer. Again, so what? My choice.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/09/2011 11:26

I work 9-5:30 Mon-Thurs, and then 7:00-2:00 on Fridays so I can pick the DDs up from school once a week. I can work at home if I choose/need to, and it's nice to have that flexibility that I didn't have in my previous job. It's still a 37.5 hour week.

If you want to work from home one day a week, ask to do so. Arrange your working week to suit you as best you can, like all the rest of us do.

[shrugs]

MuddyMare · 10/09/2011 11:47

I work full time Monday to Friday and have done so since returning from maternity leave. And I don't earn 'big bucks' either, just enough (after paying for child care) to make sense working at all. I would love to work from home or part time but all my statutory requests for flexible working have been declined by my employer. Can I get a medal?

youarekidding · 10/09/2011 11:54

So teachers aren't working full time then? Not on your calculations because they don't 'work' during school holidays. And all the planning/ report writing/ marking they do doesn't count because it's 'working from home'.

Sorry but your being ridiculous.

ShellyBoobs · 10/09/2011 12:22

I work from home maybe 3 or 4 days per month.

However... those days are almost always the ones immediately after several days working abroad. I tend to get home from the airport sometime after 10pm and won't have seen DD for a few days so rather than get up at 6am leave for the office at 7, I get up at 7am with DD and then take her to school before returning home to do a FULL day's work.

In general, any week where I have a WFH day I'll have already done at least 40-45hrs not including the WFH day. I don't/can't take any lieu time for the extra hours I work over and above a contracted 37.5hrs.

My OH works from home 75% of the time. If he didn't, we would struggle for DD to see either of her parents much during the week.

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