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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I am the only REAL full time working mum???

96 replies

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 11:40

I don't mean that in a weird, competitive way.

All my 'full time working' mum friends don't actually work full time I've discovered over the years.

For eg some 'work from home' on Fridays or have every other Friday off, some have all the school holidays off, some have one or two early finish days to do school pick ups.

I am literally the ONLY one who works Mon - Fri.

I have a fab job and earn big bucks - but I'm wondering have I done something wrong when first negotiating terms? Should I have insisted on building in extra holiday or days work from home?

Actually my life balances out well and I don't feel myself or my dc have missed out. I work near-ish home so have 2 hours in morn, 3 in evening with them and always go to plays/assemblies...but god how I would have loved to have had summer hols off with them.

OP posts:
scuzy · 09/09/2011 12:23

aren't you great!!!

your medal's in the post!

Biscuit
CaptainNancy · 09/09/2011 12:23

I get rather irritated by people who think working at home is in fact not working.

DH works from home- for himself- if he didn't work he wouldn't get paid.
I work from home on occasions when I actually want to get something done (such as writing something) because it is so much easier to get your head down and think/write when you're not in a busy office.

Maybe you know one or two people who slack off at home, but I know lots and lots that do not.

ShuckingFattered · 09/09/2011 12:24

You're not. Until I went on maternity leave I worked in the office mon - fri 0830 - 1700. No working from home, no long lunch breaks, late starts or early finishes. It's just one of those things that some people have to do. Most people I know that work from home do exactly that, work from home.

Peachy · 09/09/2011 12:25

Why isn;t working from home working, pray?

Dh works from home around uni; he outs in maybe 50 hours a week running his own web retail business.

He gets told all teh time it's not real work, doesn;t feel like it at 11.30 at nigt when I am trying to persaude him to pack up and come to bed (he works in the bedroom so doubly a PITA late / early times)

Peachy · 09/09/2011 12:25

Ah many x posts

Good.

CaptainNancy · 09/09/2011 12:26

And you may earn 'big bucks' (whatever that equates to) but remember that people who work term-time only get paid accordingly too.

People castigating part time workers also seem to conveniently forget this.

I work full time, all year btw, I wouldn't dream of sneering at those who work term-time only or 3 days a week- all my colleagues work extremely hard.

CaptainNancy · 09/09/2011 12:27

Oh I forgot to say 'YABU' sorry... must get the hang of this bunfight AIBU thing.

GingerbreadGiraffe · 09/09/2011 12:28

You are being ridiculous and you do sound quite competitive.

Why does WFH mean not really working?

If you are earning mega bucks then you may must be quite senior. Then you must be able negotiate some flexible working should you wish? You are only your own fool not to make it work better for you.

I have extremely demanding full time job. 60plus a week. I WFH couple of days a week to get some work done.Vs back to back meetings in office.

You arent alone in thinking that WFH means not really working. All my parttimer friends invite me for coffee on my WFH days and are offened when i dont go.... Hmm

Bramshott · 09/09/2011 12:36

Many parents DO request some sort of part-time / flexible working / WFH, but TBH it almost always comes at the expense of their own career progression. I have chosen to work part-time, self-employed, from home for the last 8 years, and I'm happy that this has been the right decision for me/my family, but by God by career is shot to pieces because of it, and I'm not sure I'll ever get it back.

Peachy · 09/09/2011 12:39

It does depend though Bram

I worked PT which emant more jobs in my sector (charity sector, seems to prefer that working pattern) were available and it helped me to get into the palce I wanted. I also used to work flexibly but it helped the non parents: I'd get in at 7 and work until 3, whereas they could happily stroll in at 10 and cover until 6 if they so wished (core hours were 9 - 3, the rest to be made up to suit as long as cover fpr phones etc).

Avantia · 09/09/2011 12:39

Get back to work and get off MN !

Leave MN to us ' workers at home ' and SAHM !

Grin
DandyLioness · 09/09/2011 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AfternoonDelight · 09/09/2011 12:42

It's ok, you're not the only one.

I'm working PT (and using up annual leave to do so) at the moment as I've just gone back after maternity leave. However I work with several women who have children and they all work FT - 40 hours a week (and that's in the workplace).

HTH

whatkatydidathome · 09/09/2011 12:47

Should I have insisted on...days work from home? no - you'd give those of us who do actually work from home a bad name.

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 12:48

psssst! Lads? I think she's gone. Put on her power knickers and busted right through that glass ceiling, she can't hear us anymmore.

TheOriginalFAB · 09/09/2011 12:54

YABU.

As me, like every other mother in the world, is a full time working mum. Some of us just don't get paid for what we do.

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 12:57

HUGE ROUND OF APALAUSE FOR THE ORIGINAL FAB. I think she was a masked imposter, come in here, drop a hand grenade and then watch the outrage.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 12:59

Oh gosh @ the 'I'm a full time working mum but don't get paid'. Sigh.
Of course it's the most important job in world and hats off to you and all of us for all our choices etc blah etc, but that's not remotely what this is about.

Avantia - ha ha and touche (can't do the accent on the e but ya get my drift)!

Yes suddenly am v paranoid the powers that be here at my work are checking on my internet use!

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 12:59

Bramshott - exactly, totes agree

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:01

Captainnancy - not sneering at anyone.

It was more of a sudden realisation that everyone else had engineered better terms for themselves.

I nearly passed out when my 70 year old career bitch (JOKE) aunt who I always looked at as the ultimate mum/high achieving workplace woman said she had ALL summer holidays off! I just never knew that, and I felt...I don't know. A bit stupid?

OP posts:
lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:02

Proudnscary. either you are with your decision or you are not. Whats it to be

TrillianAstra · 09/09/2011 13:05

This has made me think of something, but maybe I will ask it in another thread.

Whether the others are working full time or not depends on their working week. In my office working from home is considered as work, and you are expected to produce the same amount of work as you would if you were in the office. Therefore no matter how many days I might work from home I am still working full time.

Anyway, it's not a competition you know.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:07

Lolaflores - the pressure, the pressure! Jeez...ok well I am with my decision as a whole and don't regret choice to be FT worker BUT I think I concentrated on the wrong things when signing new contracts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:08

Trill

In my profession people who work from home are generally not working from home. Very much. In some professions/companies that's completely different.

My dh works from home - extremely fecking hard.

OP posts:
TandB · 09/09/2011 13:09

No. You are not the only full-time working mum. I know plenty of them. Most people I know went back full-time in fact. I went back full-time after 6 months of maternity leave. I am now, in theory part-time because we moved out of London so I only stay up there part of the week. In fact I am currently working 4 days in London and 1 day from home due to the current needs of my firm.

I don't get the summer holidays off and I don't know anyone else who does.

When I work from home DS is in nursery and I am generally working a full day. Sometimes the way things pan out I get part of the day to myself and consider myself pretty lucky. Very occasionally DP works from home simply to get a full day of work done without constant interruptions.

There are plenty of "real" full-time working parents. Some of them are in the office 5 days a week. Some of them have different arrangements. That doesn't make them a "fake" full-time working parent.

I think this OP was designed to irritate as many people as possible.