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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I am the only REAL full time working mum???

96 replies

Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 11:40

I don't mean that in a weird, competitive way.

All my 'full time working' mum friends don't actually work full time I've discovered over the years.

For eg some 'work from home' on Fridays or have every other Friday off, some have all the school holidays off, some have one or two early finish days to do school pick ups.

I am literally the ONLY one who works Mon - Fri.

I have a fab job and earn big bucks - but I'm wondering have I done something wrong when first negotiating terms? Should I have insisted on building in extra holiday or days work from home?

Actually my life balances out well and I don't feel myself or my dc have missed out. I work near-ish home so have 2 hours in morn, 3 in evening with them and always go to plays/assemblies...but god how I would have loved to have had summer hols off with them.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 09/09/2011 13:11

Non-AIBU working from home discussion

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:13

Panda calm down woman!

It's not about 'fake' working mums, who sound very sinister indeed.

It's about me not having guts/wits about me to NEGOTIATE BETTER TERMS INCLUDING HOLIDAY AND WORKING FROM HOME. And that dawning on me over the years.

I do have a habit of irritating people though, you are absolutely right about that.

OP posts:
Rhian82 · 09/09/2011 13:13

I was specifically told by my HR that if I worked from home at all I couldn't be in charge of a child at the same time.

BorisTheBold · 09/09/2011 13:14

I think you most definitely aren't. I was working FT, all office based, up until October last year, when I went on ML with DC3.

Planned on taking the full year off, but work pleaded asked me to return earlier. I did so, on the understanding that my role would still be FT but that I would only work two days in the office and that they give me a mega payrise. My employer agreed to all of this and I return went back part-time in July and return to full time on Monday, but with my first day at home (working 8-2 as it happens Grin).

I don't think it has to lead to the end of your career, as long as you make sure you are flexible enough to attend the meetings that matter and ensure that your successes are "publicised" iykwim?

If you feel like you're missing out and want to work from home (and are happy to put up with being expected to resolve issues from 7am-11pm and put up with part-timer comments from some colleagues) then why not use your negotiating skills and submit a flexible working request?

lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:15

Proudnscary, lake your condescening sneer and leap back into the world of work where you are obviously very contented and occasionally mildly put out by a few bits and bobs. Leave proper questions and dilemmas to those who have them. You are simply a bit wishful, as you say. In the main contented. So where is the being reasonable or unreasonble part of it all? There are many who cannot negotiate anything. But, I think the state of other women's lives and their working conditions is not really why you are here now is it?

Greythorne · 09/09/2011 13:15

10 out of 10, OP. Y ou have managed to start a thread which gets the SAHMs, the WOHMs and those not earning "big bucks' united against you.

Good work!

whatkatydidathome · 09/09/2011 13:15

proud why did your aunt have the sumer off? There is a downturn now - maybe your aunt is simply using up accrued leave during a quiet patch. When I did last work in an office our (quite small) department was owed a total of 5 years leave for accrued annual leave which we hadn't been able to take.

It is easy to assume that no one works as hard as you do but often others are putting in stupid hours (eg dp who had 3 hours sleep last night or the lady I spoke to at drop off today who had missed two nights sleep, working from home for herself, in order to hit a deadline

I don't know what you do (would be interested to know) but usually people who earn "big bucks" are paid to do a job not for so many hours. Where you are is irrelevant. The output still has to be produced.

saffronwblue · 09/09/2011 13:17

I'm tryng to work out what profession the OP has where she has to be at the office all hours with no holidays and it is common knowledge that colleagues who work from home do no work. Brothel madam? Lion tamer at the circul?

TandB · 09/09/2011 13:17

Add message | Report | Message poster Proudnscary Fri 09-Sep-11 13:13:34
Panda calm down woman!

Because my post was clearly so hysterical. Hmm

It didn't even have a random outburst of capitals.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:20

Kunfupanda - really??? Hilarious that you reported me!! Did you read my post? Do you understand ze humour??? Are you v easily offended? Feel like I'm sitting outside head teacher's office. Gulp.

Saffron - how did you guess?? First, not second obviously.

Katy - you are spot on with last comment.

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 09/09/2011 13:20

me too, Monday-Friday
yay!

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:22

Grey - actually not all posts are against me

Obviously any post that mentions work will evolve quicksmart into working v at home - wilfully misunderstand what was meant.

Twas ever thus.

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:22

Grey cc-ing Porcamiseria - see!

OP posts:
TandB · 09/09/2011 13:24

Reported you? What are you actually talking about? Are you drunk or something?

MrsTittleMouse · 09/09/2011 13:24

The OP obviously hasn't met Xenia yet. Grin

Spamspamspam · 09/09/2011 13:25

Proudnscary - how can you possibly know if people are working from home or not - are you there? Do you have webcam's to monitor them.

You do sound like a bit of an idiot but on many levels not just the fact that you can't manage to negotiate what you might be entitled to but also for your bizarre views, your words can only fall out of the mouth of an idiot. I am so angry about the working from home in quotes. I take it you are mainly referring to women when you say that the general rule of thumb is that they are actually looking after their children. The fact that you then go on to say that your husband works from home very hard is almost like saying men can manage to work from home but women can't.

porcamiseria · 09/09/2011 13:29

sounds like your balance is fine as you get time with them very day, work near home and earn good money

not sure why you started thread tho|?

AbbyAbsinthe · 09/09/2011 13:29

I work 45 hours a week, Mon-Fri, none of it from home. I leave at 7 in the morning and get home at 7 in the evening. I have a 13 year old and a 6 year old.

You know what? I chose it, and I like it. Sometimes I take leave in the school holidays, sometimes I take leave to sit in the house by myself. I don't understand your point.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:31

Panda - no I'm not drunk but I wish I was. There was a report poster thingy and I got confused. I was quite excited for a minute! Apologies for extra dollop of idiocy.

Spam - did you read why I put it in quotes and about my industry?
Wow at reading that into my dh working from home. I am clearly a misogynist who think women can't cope, errr being a working woman and all.

OP posts:
Chandon · 09/09/2011 13:32

You do sound a bit "weird and competitive" OP, even if you don't mean to.

All people I know who work from how actually WORK.

I don't get the disdain that you imply by adding the "".

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:33

porcamiseria - nor am I!!!
Abby - see above!

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 09/09/2011 13:34

most mums that work not at home get 25 days holiday (average) dont they?

then you spread it over the year

I am thinking of buying 10 days of parental leave in 2012 to give me 1 extra day off a month

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:34

Chandon - I explained that in my industry it's wink, wink 'work from home' doesn't usually mean that, in others it is. Can see why it annoyed!!!!!!!
I clearly am secretly a competitve weirdo and never realised it.
Right am off to be weird and competetive. Ta ra!
x

OP posts:
lolaflores · 09/09/2011 13:35

if you want a respectful hearing PS, then I suggest you respect other women's choices and situations. Your attitude though makes me wonder if your defensiveness about what you have chosen to do doesn not belie some guilt or perhaps the need to be "competitive in a weird way" is looking for acceptance from other women who you are obviously not a fan of.
Does the concerned look!

Original poster
Proudnscary · 09/09/2011 13:35

Porc - or unpaid/sabbatical I'm thinking even (for me)

OP posts:
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