To find this shocking or should I loosen my judgey-pants?

[bluebellewood]

Visiting my local Coffee shop today I saw a child aged about three sitting at a table with somesort of DVD/ notebook type thing placed about an inch from her face. The child was mezmerised by a leaping, googly eyed,luminous green, computer generated character. The whole time that I was in the cafe she did not take her eyes from the screen.

The parents were enjoying their coffee whilst totally ignoring their child.

What sort of parents think it is a good idea to prevent their child from interacting and engaging with the world around them. To sit glued to a screen even when not at home.

I was so shocked I could have cried for that little girl.

I'd be a little bit judgy that the screen was so close to her face.

Other than that, it sounds pretty normal - just a hi-tech version of a colouring book when you want to actually talk to another adult for a little while.

"I was so shocked I could have cried for that little girl.!"

What the fuck do you do when you see child abuse/famine victims on the news then?

Perspective, please. AKA "get a grip".

Must parents "engage with" their children at all times? Or must children "interact and engage with the world around them" at all times? Chances are that the poor bloody world around the child didn't want to interact or engage with it but was extremely grateful that the parents had been thoughtful enough towards other diners by giving the child something to occupy it. Makes a change from seeing a child run around a cafe yelling whilst the parents smile indulgently on at PFB.

Can no poor sod even stop to have a coffee in peace now without some do-gooder judging them on the basis of a snapshot of their lives whilst in a cafe and wailing that no-one is thinking of the chiiiillllldrennnnn?

"What I don't understand is why that child had to be excluded from normal every day interaction."

What?! I played on my own all the time as a child, does that mean I was being excluded from normal every day interaction?

A parent does not have to spend 100% of their time fussing around their child and talking to them. Children are very good at picking up on things and learning about them on their own.

If they ignore their child all the time, that would be a bad thing, but you know absolutely nothing about what that family had spent their day doing or would do for the rest of the day.

Good grief.
Save your pity for the 60,000 children in the care system, not some kid out for a coffee with its Ma.

Siamo you are on fine form today

I doubt I would have even noticed it, too busy enjoying my slice of chocolate cake black coffee.

Yes you should.

In fact remove them entirely and wear something a little less uncomfortable.

I personally think that there is a lot to be said for teaching a child that sometimes they have to sit quietly and let the grown ups talk/do what they are doing.

That isn't to say that I ignore my DDs, but at times (and sometimes in coffee shops) I do expect them to entertain themselves for ten minutes whilst I have a grown up conversation. I think it is a skill for them to learn, to play with something, read or book or just sit quietly.

Its not a case of being victorian and thinking that they should be seen and not heard, but sometimes they need to know that they have to be quiet and let the grown ups do what they are doing.

"Can no poor sod even stop to have a coffee in peace now without some do-gooder judging them on the basis of a snapshot of their lives whilst in a cafe and wailing that no-one is thinking of the chiiiillllldrennnnn?"

Exactly what I was thinking!

Oooh, was it me, my dcs love playing om nom, cut the rope on the ipad whilst I ignore them.

You'd be positively bereft observing my parenting sometimes then OP!

Seriously though, don't be so judgmental.

I was so shocked I could have cried for that little girl

And the most dramatic pearl clutching dramallama award goes to the OP....

You were shocked and could have cried because the little girl was interested in a cartoon while her parents enjoyed a coffee break?

Seriously?

I wonder if people were judging me when I sat with my two daughters who were entertaining themselves eating ice cream while amending the Ocado order on my phone...

This bizarre idea that children must be entertained, interacted with, amused and otherwise pandered to at every available moment is just ridiculous. And turns them into brats who are incapable of independent thought and need to be spoonfed the whole way through the education system.

I cant beleive this shocked you

I was so shocked I could have cried for that little girl.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go to SierrA Leone, NOW

kids should definetely learn to be independent, play on their own and spend time on their own. its a good thing ... not neglect or requires drama filled tears.

I see so often on these boards how people see someone for two minutes and judge their whole lives based on that observation...

bluebelle, please can you explain "interacting and engaging with the world around them" in this context? With what/whom apart from the parents, should the child have been interacting and engaging?

If THAT made you want to cry, how do you get through the day in one piece?

Well, yes, YABU for feeling like crying, you were over reacting.

On the other hand I go a bit cat bum face when I see very small children being entertained by electronic gadgets. But then, I am old.

I think you should loosen the judgey pants.

Would you have preferred:

Oh LOOK Matilda, Mummy and Daddy are having a coffee. Look at that darling its a CUP , can you spell CUP. Darling look at this SPOON. What do we do with a SPOON???? They're not as nice as our SPOONS are they DARLING..... and on and on.

They all sound like they were having a bit of down time. No harm in that.

Schnarkle - bleugh. My friend, who I love dearly, is increasingly turning into THAT kind of parent. Argh - but I did laugh reading your post

Maybe it was Muzzy and she was learning Japenese. Would that be ok?