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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Right, quick, AIBU?

69 replies

Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:30

Ok, DP has just come home. He has been out at the gym for three hours. Half an hour ago he called to say he was at tesco. Did I want Anything? Yeah, I will have some milk please.

So, he comes back, we are playing nicely in dd's room. His tea is in the microwave. He comes up with a lovely bunch of roses. I'm well pleased. Then he produces a coat for dd. It was reduced in tesco.

He has a problem with dd's clothes. He is always buying more, and more and more. The child has four coats. Four. One cost forty pounds from debenhams and fits perfectly. Apparently it's "filthy dirty". I am cross, we have had a horrible row. I think he is wasting money, and accusing me of sending dd out in a filthy coat. Nice way to repay me for his evening off pleasing his bastard self. I am so upset. 4 months pregnant so could it be i am unreasonable? He says I moan all the time and nothing he does is right. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:34

He says I am controlling and if he wants to buy his daughter a coat he can. He also says this family is a joke... He is such a drama queen. All I said was don't think she needs another coat, and it has started world war three!

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 07/09/2011 19:34

Sorry, but I think you might be a little bit unreasonable. He brought you roses which was really sweet and thoughtful - focus on that part and try to get over the fact that he spent a couple of pounds on a coat.

shakey1500 · 07/09/2011 19:36

Can he/you afford the coat?

mumblechum1 · 07/09/2011 19:36

I think it was nice that he thought of buying his dd a coat. I don't think it would ever occur to my dh to buy clothes for our dc.

Is it such a big deal? If it was a Tesco sale item, it's hardly going to break the bank, is it?

Frog253 · 07/09/2011 19:36

Did he remember the milk?

SandStorm · 07/09/2011 19:36

I'm quite impressed actually. My DH wouldn't know where to start.

Sorry, YABU.

hairylights · 07/09/2011 19:37

Yabu. It's not important unless you really can't afford the coat.

mrsravelstein · 07/09/2011 19:37

i'd love it if dh bought dd clothes (or bought me roses, for that matter) - unless you seriously can't afford it.

buzzsorekillington · 07/09/2011 19:37

It's a bit weird to buy a new coat for the reason another is dirty (if it was). Hasn't he heard of the amazing new invention, the washing machine? Grin

He obviously likes treating you both and maybe saw it as recompense for his free time? The question is whether you guys can afford this kind of impulse buy and if you can't, he should resist.

You can presumably take the coat back? And you need to do some talking instead of rowing.

dexter73 · 07/09/2011 19:37

I feel a bit sorry for him actually - he buys you roses and his daughter a new coat and then you have a row with him about it. I can understand why he feels nothing he does is right.

Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:38

Yes, we can afford it. But we do have another child on the way and no carpet in a couple of rooms yet, car tax due next month and SHE HAS FOUR COATS.

Oh. I'm being unreasonable aren't I :(

OP posts:
Nagoo · 07/09/2011 19:38

but did he get the milk?

You should have smiled and nodded and said thank you for the flowers. he was trying to be nice. He wanted you to be grateful that he thought of you both.

If it was me I'd have probably kept the receipt and taken it back later if she really didn't need it. If it was only a few quid and you are not skint then let it go.

You pushed him into the 'filthy dirty' comment by criticising his coat purchase, he had to justify it.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/09/2011 19:40

A bit.

Tell him your hormonal and apologise before it turns into a war.

I agree that no one needs 4 coats.

Nagoo · 07/09/2011 19:40

Yep. yABU.

Huffythetantrumslayer · 07/09/2011 19:41

So it was ok to spend money on roses but not a coat? I think you might be hormonal. Was it expensive? If it was more than £20 I'd be pissed off but tesco shouldn't have cost much surely? Can't comment on whether you're controlling or not but maybe a bit more hormonal if you're pregnant.

mrsravelstein · 07/09/2011 19:41

dd is 19 months old and has got about 7 coats, if that makes you feel any better

winnybella · 07/09/2011 19:41

I would have rolled my eyes (discreetely) but would have let it go.

Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:41

He is kind really. He is eating the tea I made him at the table. I'm sorry now.

But yes, to the poster who mentioned the new invention of the washing machine, his throwaway attitude to stuff annoys me. That coat is beautiful and will wash perfectly. He just doesn't probably like it or something. His mother is the same, they change their furniture annually, she has been known to take a screwdriver to her leather suite to make FIL get her a new one!

OP posts:
Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:42

He got me milk and chocolate shredies and jam tarts :(

OP posts:
Huffythetantrumslayer · 07/09/2011 19:42

Oh bless you. Go make up with him Grin

Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:44

No, I didn't push him into saying my child's clothes are filthy dirty... They just aren't! In nobodys reality can anyone say my dd's clothes are filthy dirty.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changing2011 · 07/09/2011 19:45

I just went and said sorry he told me to go away.

OP posts:
unfitmother · 07/09/2011 19:46

Sorry, but YABU.

CatFlaps · 07/09/2011 19:47

Just count yourself lucky. My dds father buys NOTHING for her, SFA, and he can effin afford it!

G1nger · 07/09/2011 19:47

Just give him his space for a little while and then try to make him laugh.