to be letting this spoil my 'holiday'....

[DILIngrate]

My 1st AIBU and have named changed.

PIL have retired to France with a 2nd home in UK (both properties mortgage free).
They have spent and continue to spend a lot of money on renovating their property abroad.
They only see our DC (3 and 1) 3 times a year, so although we are a bit strapped for cash this year (I'm on mat leave and we moved house last year) we have come for a 12 day stay.

On the 1st day of the trip we went to supermarket together and I asked if we could do a shop or make a contribution towards food and drink.
MIL said it would be easier to work it out at end of holiday.
A few days later DP asked what they would like to do.
They have asked for 200 euros "to cover food costs and petrol for the airport pick up" (when they came to collect us). I was at the amount (it's more than I would spend on 2 weeks food and petrol at home!) and also the sentiment.

We have made a financial contribution when we stayed here previously with (our) friends but I was and also for DP that his parents are basically charging us for 'full board stay' when we have been invited as guests and have come mainly so that they can spend time with their grandchildren.

My own family would never consider charging us for their hospitality and are always incredibly generous (both with their time and financially) so perhaps it's the contrast which I find so shocking.

AIBU to think this unusual and horribly mean?

I agree with cornflowers.

This summer on holiday in France we were shocked to find that we rarely spent less than 40-50 Euros a day in the supermarket buying food for each day. This was for four adults at Super U, E.Leclerc was even more expensive we found. I include a bottle of wine a day costing maybe 10 euros.

Try not to let this sour your holiday or you wont feel the benefit as my Great Aunt says.

This is easy. If you charge them for the same things when they come to visit you, YABU. If not, not. Personally, and in my entire extended family, money has never changed hands on this basis, so I find it surprising to hear about. The fact that are monied people changes nothing, as there are plenty of examples of wealthier types also being stingy or penny-pinching. That is nothing new, however annoying it might be.

maybe they arent on a large income, being pensioners. You probably have no idea of their true financial situation. Even though it sometimes seems as if people are comfortable, that isnt always the case.

Also, they probably did it, when you kept asking, so that you wouldnt feel uncomfortable about not paying your way. Maybe they wouldnt have mentioned it if you hadnt and thought it would hurt your pride not to pay something.

my mum would, ever charge me for staying no matter how long we stayed with her, i think its pretty gross. if it was friends then yeah maybe a contribution but wow i am shocked.
i would always take her out for a meal and things to say thank you but thats what family's do right, especially when you are skint.

Sorry I find it shocking how many people would free-load on friends. If you go visiting you take a big hamper of stuff. If it is to people overseas you usually ask what "treats from home" they would like. EG. my DH's cousin often asks for baked beans. I think 200 euros is very very cheap for 4 people to have a 2 week holiday.
Now if they had offered it as a treat because you are skint and they are not then it would be different, but persoanlly I would want to make sure that I helped out a lot etc. And the kids made nice presents for Grandma and Grandad.

YABU. If we go on a family holiday my mum does the cooking because she loves it, and we pay about £20 per day contribution to food, plus we buy a few bottles of wine as a token of appreciation and also a meal out at the end of the holiday.

I am with heryoalnotness.....YANBU at all .... My parents would never ever charge we help out and it works both ways ......

so OP, how much do you think it would be reasonable to contribute? If I was a guest I would want to show appreciation and help out somewhere in the form of buying food or a gift or taking them out for a meal a few times or do some people expect to take, take, take? Gifts, a meal out, buying say half of the food bill for the 12 days could easily come to more than 200 euros. You did ask a few times how much to contribute or did you really just expect everything for free with no input from yourself. I feel sad for the parents being vilified here - they actually sound quite hospitable where as you seem to be moaning that they didn't buy in the correct kind of cereal for your kids.