to feel right sorry for these babby's with unique names?

[Nowithadoublei]

They'll be respelling for there whole life.

Amieeleigh.

Maizii-Faii.

Demilea.

Reah-Neavah.

Jay-dee.

Rylee.

Maisy-Maee.

Ezmai.

Courney-Alice.

Izaeyah.

Jorgea.

Jerzey.

Daisey-Jai.

Dolci'Lou.

Sorry if these are any of normal spellings but I don't recognize them.

They can always change their names!

'calling your child 'chynna blu' ( a real name in care proceedings, surprise, surprise'

I 'm not sure you should have posted this.There can't be too many children of that name.

my son name always has to spell his name and then say no it is not made up .

He pronuces it as john ,is not spelt that way it is the Italian Gian.

Ds 3 is one of those Irish names that no one can say

'if you say my name incorrectly or quickly it means "quick" in German'

At least it doesn't mean quickie in German.

I noticed in the US that females often have funny made up names but boys are usually traditional biblical names -- Patrick, Michael etc but you do get the occasional Wyatt - often after a grandparent of similar.

It seems a bit sexist - but possibly it makes the girls more individual and confident- on the other hand that could be frivolous and superficial.

If you don't like your name you can change it. Wish I'd changed mine which is v boring and sets my age at late 50s. You never here it now.

Ooops - don't know how I got that line through the phrase above it wasn't meant to be there.

You are collapsing all your arguments into one Spero. No one is saying you should like unusual spellings or that people should use them to make a point. It is fine to say some of these spellings are ugly, or at least not to your taste. Personally I have a visceral and wholly irrational reaction to names involving the letter i and repeated consonant sounds. This makes me prejudiced against anyone called Vivienne or Lily (my teeth itch typing those names) but I do try to remember that it is a personal thing and that children called Lily may be perfectly delightful despite the unfortunate choice their parent made.

It is fine to say that if you want to make your child special or distinctive starting with the birth certificate is not really necessary. Marion Morrison probably stood out a bit at school and achieved fame only after he changed his name to John Wayne.

It is not fine to say that people shouldn't give their kids these names in case they encounter bigots in later life. Because the logical endpoint to that argument is that people from minority ethnic groups should not use culturally appropriate names in case that harms their child's chances of getting a job interview later on.

I didnt equate it to anything of the sort spero.

You made that huge leap all on your own.

I think you are trying to justify your own prejudices.

Whats wrong with the name you mentioned?. Its very pretty.

As someone who works with dysfuntional families perhaps you have a slightly skewed view of the world?

Just because you come across parents with drug problems and other issues day in day out who call their kids unusual names, it doesnt mean that all kids with unusual names are parented by drug users.

You know that right?

YOU spero think that is a 'stupid' name.

I dont and I am sure there are thousands of other people who dont.

Its fine for you not to like 'stupid' names. Why on earth do you feel the need to tell everyone they shouldnt either?

I worked with a professional woman (so presumably uni educated) called
N-a

Totally OT I know, but I'm curious as to why you assume a "professional" woman is "uni educated"?

OT - most of the names listed are rather silly (in the UK at least - not sure about the USA).

NEWS FLASH

Mel B's, errr, 'babby' has just been named:

Delicia Godess Venus Luna

I have only ever made one point - parents should think carefully about what they call their children. A name is a label they may carry for life and it can have a powerful impact. It is all very well saying they can change it, but that is a difficult decision as by the time you are old enough to realise you can, the name has been with you for a long time.

Sadly, I have met a number of Chynna Blus in care proceedings so I am not 'outing' anyone. But you are right, I should be more careful so thank you for pointing that out.

I object to the name because while you might legitimately think it pretty, it is a name that is constantly going to have to be spelled out to anyone who asks for it. Why do that to a child? What is the benefit to that child? These are not 'culturally appropriate names'. These are silly made up names.

It is rampant egotism on the part of the parent. As Mel B's poor little girl evidences.

What every parent should remember is that it is their child who has to live with the name, not them.

Spero I just wanted to come back on and make it clear that I wasnt accusing you of being generally prejudiced

I was only refering to your feelings about names and their consquences. We are not going to agree on this issue but I certainly dont think you are some sort of bigot. I feel very strongly about this whole name snobbery thing for lots of reasons.

I apologise if I came across as rude.

My brother had to change his (foreign) name on his cv as he wasn't getting any interviews. His name does look hard to pronounce so he changed his first name only on his cv to a shortened version, which sounds more western and lo and behold, no problems with interviews.

Jaxon

I have serious concerns about professionals involved with care proceedings using names or discussing their cases in any way. Whether you have encountered one or a hundred children with the same name, I don't think you should be using those names on a public internet forum.

Hmm, I have a very unusual name. It's in fact classical but obscure to the degree that many people think my parents made it up.

I did use to mind a lot when I was a child - especially because my name could also be shortened to a not exactly nice word in the local dialect. However, I now love it. Furthermore, I apparently have about children named after myself in my hometown.

Milk, I have taken on board the point about names, I accept it is a good point and I was wrong to use the name. I am very sorry and I certainly won't be doing it again.

But I am not going to stop discussing care cases on this or any other forum, because of the astonishing amount of ignorance and prejudice I encounter from otherwise intelligent people. I think I have a moral duty to try to counter that, even if it is ultimately futile.

mrsdev, I certainly didn't think you were accusing me of anything horrible, we disagree about this issue and we both have our reasons and feel strongly about it, that is absolutely fine and I accept I shouldn't call people's names 'stupid' - but I may be thinking it!

I can't say it better than soup dragon. Names do matter and it is the child who has to wear it.

spero most of that ignorance comes from a very small hard core group though. Once the majority of posters has read what you and others with actual knowledge have to say, they generally change their views (or at least soften them).

I think you have given some excellent advice and insight. It would be a shame if you stopped.

I know it must be frustrating arguing for page after page with 'you know who' but if you dont - who will

Thank you for that mrsd.

I think I am in danger of getting too sucked in to head banging with the hard core on other threads and it is impacting on my ability to debate sensitively. I shouldn't refer to real children in care proceedings. I think I was getting frustrated and carried away with my point.

I understand your reasons for feeling very strongly about this.

I am aware of my prejudice towards certain names and I am aware that this is for me, a class thing. I hope that awareness will help because I constantly try to check my assumptions. But some people can't or won't.

Maybe I have been warped by my professional exposure to the worst things that parents can do? I guess if the worst thing you do to your child is give him or her a weird name it is not so bad in the great scheme of things.

I used to get sent the magazine 'advertising' children for adoption. We were members of adoption UK because our LA paid for our membership (because we were kinship adopters).

Many, many of the children in the magazine had outrageous names. I will never forget little 'Rave' for example.

But lots of them also had names like Maureen, Callum, Jake, Sasha etc.

It could be that if you have a particular dislike for the unusual names you are more likely to notice them as they come through the courts/their files land on your desk?

We tend to notice things that back our theories up dont we? Its natural. I am far more likely to notice a story about a horrible Tory MP for example

My birth children have semi unusual names in that they are quite 'cool'. My adopted son has a 'chavvy' name. Its not even spelt properly. It does worry me that he will be labelled because of a name given to him by his birth mother (who you are right, did far worse than give him an usual name) who he never sees and has no influence over his upbringing.

I can see that you are more angry about the implications than judgemental about the children involved and I can understand that. I do get that the kids you are working with could do without the extra 'burden' of a made up/misspelt name.

I do think the problem is with societal attitudes. But I think this has always been the case though. If you were called Daisy or Maud at a certain time in history that would have marked you out as a kitchen maid.

I just saw the Wright Stuff.

They were doing the name thing! (I wonder why)

MrsdV, there is force in what you say. The weirder names do leap out at you in the paperwork and I am sitting there stroking my beard thinking, 'well! What else can I expect from parents like THESE'

There are of course children with 'middle class' names going through the care system. It isn't a necessary nor a sufficient condition of crap parenting that you have given your child a 'unique' name.

I am going to apply to adopt a little girl who is primary school age next year. If I was ever matched with a child with an interesting name, I wouldn't dream of trying to change her name to something I felt more comfortable with, as by then it would be HER name. But it would be a challenge for me to feel comfortable with it. But maybe that is just the challenge I should be facing.

It is something I had to think about Spero. When I was on the way to pick up my DS from family court I had no idea what he was called. I didnt know at the time we were going to adopt him but I did wonder how I would deal with a name that was very different from one we would chose.

I know his birth mum so I knew it could have been a very 'different' name.

I wondered how I would feel calling his name if it was one I hated, how I would feel about others thinking I had chosen it.

We do get a fair bit of snobbery about his name but it isnt an extreme version or a totally made up one.

How excting that you are planning to adopt! I do hope things go well for you