to think attitudes to disabilities in a themepark should be better...

[LunarRose]

We have exit passes for DS with ASD.

AIBU that "I'm going to kick their head in" cos they're "queue jumping", was neither clever nor original (especially after the third time my DP heard it during the day)

AIBU that pushing DS out the way (in the chest with some force) because he failed to respond instantly to your demand he "get out of your way" (whist waiting at the disabled exit) was just plain unpleasant (I was bending down to move him at the time)

So many more similar incidents through the day.

I normal circumstances I wouldn't want to wish my son's disability on anyone, nor the days over backache that a themepark trip entitled before we knew about exit passes (from carrying DS through Queuelines kicking and screaming) however....

We shall retreat to Chessington where we have always found people lovely!!!

I think spider is enjoying the last weekend before going back to school.

To be fair to spiderpig....although her/his views are staggeringly ignorant, I can understand why he/she thinks that way.

It's because there is no education on ASD etc

If there was, then hopefully views like spiderpig's would be a thing of the past (give or take a few die hards)

Oh shit then re the letter, they accepted my DLA stuff last year, so what do I take this time, a consultant letter with the name of my condition on? It's so rare they won't have a clue, what's the point?

Just looked at the new disability access thing for AT and now v concerned as the criteria is either completely wheelchair bound or unable to queue for reasons such as not understanding the process or getting agitated. No mention now of those with mobility probs who can still walk a bit, but can't queue.

If they no longer let me have an exit pass bang goes our theme park visits. If I had to stand in hour long queues I'd not get to the ride.

Any advice, anyone been since these new rules?

Could you ask your GP to right something saying that due to your condition you find it difficult to queue or stand for long periods?

Or from an ASD perspective (me), people accidentally bumping into me freaks me out slightly, but I can cope when it happens occassionally. In a queue like this it's repeatedly and the stress and anxiety builds and builds and you feel like you're being attacked and you can't go back becuase that means more pushing and showing and you can't go forwards and the hysteria builds and then you want to die, which sounds dramatic but anything is better than what you're feeling at that moment in time.

Thankfully I also have a physical disability too and use a walking frame so I pass disability-for-the-ignorant test and get to use the exit without too much abuse.

write*

Spiderpig - Why people with auism can't queue

DS has Autism and is 4. He has no sense of time (can't tell you about what has happened, won't understand the idea of what will happen). He is super sensitive to his personal space and does not manage people coming into it. He has no sense of others space either. He also runs off given half a chance. When he goes into meltdown or when he's confused, he hits out at those around him

Most queue lines involve a large number of people in a small personal space. oftenin the dark.

So in a queue he is standing somewhere he is deeply uncomfortable (too many people) with no idea of when the unpleasent experience will end, or why he is there. He goes into meltdown, he lashes out at the child/adult standing in front, I have to hold him, mumble a sincerely apology to the injured party and restrain DS from doing anymore damage. I am stressed, Ds is stressed, DS is screaming so badly you can't even get him on the ride
OR
DS decides to do a runner under the queuelines (pushing people out the way cos he just isn't interested in them. I dive after him scattering people left right and centre, or let him escape, then he's lost. Only he won't look lost cos he doesn't always show emotion right. So by the time I find him he's in a real state.

I do agree that schools and workplaces should offer education regarding disabilities,but at the same time I think that adults have to take some responsibility for educating themselves. It's not difficult find information from a library or on the internet regarding special needs. They could even ask a few civil questions on forums.

wassup, complicating factor is have just moved so only meeting new gp this week and he won't know me, my consultant said he'd pass on a letter to me for new gp/consultant but hasn't yet, so I'm slightly in limbo. New gp may or may not be happy to write this letter. Otherwise I'll just have to take in one of my hospital letters which wouldn't mean much to someone not expert in lung conditions.

'Actually Spiderpig your attitude has just made me understand why some posters with SN children jump down the throats of others when they're asking genuine questions.

Your views are breathtakingly ignorant...I mean really quite astounding.'

A silver lining to the cloud, spiderpig is of use at last.
As to children lining up in MS schools, look more carefully at a child you know has an ASD in a line.
Are they at the front?
At the back?
Standing near an adult they trust?
Holding a fiddle toy?
Next to a tolerant and aware friend who knows about crowding and the triggers that distress their friend?
Are they always standing in the same order, ie register or alphabetical?
We give a lot of support for children with additional needs in school, sometimes it isn't obvious or flagged up.
Which to the ignorant unaware might appear to be no support at all.

I am sure the new GP maybe persuaded if you offer to pay the fee they charge for writing letters these days - otherwise ring your old GP and ask if they can do you a letter or ring the new GP as it take a while for the records to get transferred?

wasuup3000 I wasn't having a go at you. I just think it is funny in a weird sort of way and was chewing over what a weird old world we live in.

I'm hoping they'll just accept my blue badge, although I'll check first as everyone thinks it's a fake. I get a parking ticket every time I use it in London.

Good god, how ignorant some people are.

Spiderpig non of my dc have sn, and yeh queueing is shit, ds in particcular struggles alot with it, BUT never in a million years would i expect a child with sn to stay home and miss out on a day out just because they might upset NT people by getting onto a ride first.

How bloody ridiculous and selfish.

kladdkakka I get that, they have been trained to know the main diagnosis's such as ASD being a social communication difficulty affecting the ability to queue as far as they told me. Obviously wouldn't probably understand it without having it translated if it was written in another language though.

Riveninabingle - I think that's the thing, anyone with an access pass would give anything to be the one in the queue waiting.

Dilly, you offend pigs

worraliberty I agree that there should be more chance to learn about sn,
It is already happening in schools due to inclusion.
mn would also be a good place for people to learn and find out stuff about sn, but sadly as you can see the treads always get hijacked by attention seeking posters, who just want to hurt the sn community. because of this most posters who would be able to answer questions are defensive, awaiting the next attack.

As to the queuing at school for lunch thing....

Obviously - at school, in a safe and familiar environment, for a very short period of time and surrounded by adults who are all aware of you difficulties and ready to support you should you need it is the RIGHT place to learn how to wait your turn in a queue.

At a theme park on an exciting and much anticipated day out, surrounded by strange sights and noise and unfamiliar and disapproving strangers is not the right place. It would be an unpleasant experience for the child, for their family and probably for those near the child in the queue.

I would like to say 'I can't believe how ignorant and insensitive some people/posters are' but spiderpig and Nilata you really take the biscuit.

Not all disabilities are obvious and certainly not all mean being confined to a wheelchair. My ds has asd and he struggles in small places and in large crowds. What is ten times worse then his worst meltdown, complete with self harming and him causing us injuries are the moronic stares and laughter from people as ignorant as you.

He can not queue as he gets very distressed at being in a tight space and 8 years at school have not helped him queue nicely. He would probably love the faster rides but dp is very aware of the angry looks and comments and is worried how ds's sensory overload would actually deal with a ride. If we did try it it would be the last ride when there was no-one around.

OP we went to Flamongoland yesterday and they do a disabled q-buster and a q-buster which you buy for £1. That means anyone can jump the queue and I assume the £1 q-buster was brought in to placate the morons nt ride goers who couldn't bear to wait 2-3 extra minutes whilst a disabled rider got on quickly

Riven There are disabled toilets but the only flat surface is a baby changing bed. I am assuming there would be a medical area which if you rang ahead they may let you use for changing dd in. It wouldn't have a hoist but would have a full sized trolley bed. Yesterday we saw quite a few dc's in wheelchairs who had serious disabilities so there must be someway around it.
It is probably one of those things they don't advertise but a ring around of some local themeparks/zoos might find some very accomdating.

We have only just got a proper disabled changing area in our home town's new shopping centre and it gets used an awful lot so it just takes us disabled carers a bit of nagging before they are there to be used

Every single person in those queues who rolls those eyes, sighs aloud, tuts continuously, should walk an hour in the shoes of a parent with a disabled child.

Ask any of them, would you rather be in the queue without the need for this pass and I bet they'd say yes.

The ignorant are jealous of the pain, suffering, restrictions, hospital appts, life changing events that these children and their familes go through?

What the actual fuck?

Why?

Because they feel so hard done to? That 'it's not fair'? Why do 'they' get to go before them? Oh and let me guess, 'they' shouldn't be allowed into theme parks in the first place?

Makes my blood boil.

wow, this thread has moved on a lot sinse i first posted this morning, there are so many people who just don't have a clue what it is like to take a sn child out for the day and i am totaly shocked by the person that said 'children that are able boddied should have to cue .

I have 2 dd's with ASD, shall i just explain what a trip out to a theme park is like for us?

First we have the car ride which is a nightmare, dd1 doesn't shut up with the continues questions, we prepare them both with a map/leaflet of where we are going, we would have watched youtube videos and planned what order we are going to do the attractions in, Dd1 would be panicking incase one of the rides is shut and then are plans would be ruined, dd2 is still trying to work out where we are going but enjoying looking at the leaflet, we finaly get there, dd2 has wet herself so we have to change her in the boot of the car, we then quee to get in, DD2 can hear the rides and children so covers her ears and starts to humm, dd1 is over excited and wont stand still. We finaly get in, by now dd2 has her whole face covered by her hands so she cant see where she's going, i have to drag her along to the first ride whilst dh tries to calm down dd1 (who is hyper), we get in the quee for the first ride, dd2 doesn't understand why we can't get straight on, i try to explain to dd2 (using pictures and simple words) that we have to wait, children start knocking into her and she freeks out, starts crying and screaming, by now everyones staring at us and giving us cat bum faces, dd1 starts shouting 'dd2 has Autism don't you know?' as she has noticed everyone looking at us , we finaly get on the ride after a 30 minute wait, by this time dd2 is to upset to enjoy the ride. After the expereance of the first ride dd2 refusses to go on anything else which makes dd1 anxious and she also refuses the othe rides
We then decide to go into the cafe for a drink but its too noisy for dd2 and we have to go back outside, it takes another hour until we can persuade the dd's to quee for another ride and the fun starts all over again, by the time they have recoved from the 2nd ride its almost time to go home, dd2 is upset, dd1 is anxious and we still have to get home. We decide never to go back and stick to playing in the garden in the future .

I can't begin to imagine how had it must be for someone like Riven to take her dd out for the day but i imagine its a lot more stressful than my day out, we want our children to expereance what other children do, they have a right to a day out and to have an enjoyable day out, exit passes help so much in making the day run more smoothly and less stressful, isn't that what our children deserve?? A nt child can understand that they have to wait, my dd2 can not understand because of her lack of understanding and poor communication, she can not handle being in a quee (the noise, people knocking her and seeing people get on the ride when she has to wait).