Ainu to be annoyed at the in laws?

[lildeg]

Mil shows massive favour to sil over Dh, this effects the time & effort subsequently shown to our children.
Sil calls dh 'golden child' this really winds me up!

Anyway there is lots of background issues regarding our second class citizenship ;).

Today is sils bday, next thurs is dh bday. Sil has no money to celebrate in the way they usually do (going for a meal) so dh has just phoned to say, we are going to a carvery tonight and were all (us and mil) chipping in so sil and her family can have a birthday meal.
This is not my issue, I actually think it's a brilliant idea IF we do it at weekend and not tonight. My thinking (which I have expressed) is what happens next Thursday when sil still has no money does dh birthday just get forgot? Surely it's common sense to celebrate both bdays on Sunday?
I was told 'just what is your problem? Next week we can just go without sil and her family.'

Does anyone else see 'my problem'? Or AIBU?

i do see what you mean but i would rather go out without the in laws for a meal :)

well as it's your dh's birthday and he's suggested it and not bothered then I think you should go along with the plans

I have similar issues with inlaws about favouritism among the grandchildren so I can understand why you are irked but pick your battles I say

I agree - if your dh is fine with it, then why stress?

YABU.

It is DH's 'issue' to deal with, if he wants to.

Just don't go if you don't want to, but don't make it difficult for everyone else. Why do you want your SIL at your DH's birthday, if you don't 100% get on with her. You are turning this into a battle, whereas it could just be ignored, until it actually impinges dramatically on your life.

He's not suggested it mil did and he's said yes, I suggested doing it as one celebration so they could all feel celebrated. I'd prefer to go out alone but mil would be coming with us next week too.

Well if she is coming out with you next week too then she obviously wants to celebrate and acknowledge both birthdays individually. Again if your dh is happy with that then I would let it go. Honestly you just can't change family dynamics the best you can do is detach yourself from it a little. It's taken me a while but it's easier

Thanks, it's good to see that people think IABU .

Dh doesn't care and your right, I shouldn't either. I will book something for us next week and see who comes along :)